I’m so screwed...
 

Been working in China for a number of years now. Recently hooked up with a syt online and the relationship is spiralling out of control. I having a family in Singapore whom I treasure and love. Covid prevented me from going back home for more than a yr now and I was feeling very lonely.
The syt was meant to be groomed as a FB, but quickly got emotionally attached. She recently told me a lot about her very traumatic past and she’s taking a lot of medication for mental illness.
I am very afraid of her hurting herself if I tell her that I have a family in Singapore, but I really do not want to destroy my family in Singapore.
Really at a loss now, I’m so screwed...
Any bro with advise on how to carry on the relationship without getting caught by either side? Or another way to break up with the syt without her doing anything dramatic?
For guys that wanna burn me for what I’m doing, I can only say you are right, but I just need advise on how to get it right at the moment.

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Bro... just break off slowly with the china girl. u got to pretend that u yourself is having mental problem... let her break off with u instead.

try talking to yourself with her around, laugh for no apparent reason, purposely shit or pee inside your pants... etc...

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Not gonna burn you but i know. Guys got to be guys. I can understand what you are going through. Just make sure your handle her properly because mental illness can be very scary. You got to treat it with the upmost care. Try letting her know the true but dun just leave her alone to dwell on it. Try to be there in case she do anything stupid.

If worse comes to worse, seek medical professionals to help you deal with the situation. Sometime we think we know what we are doing but ended up doing it wrong, causing more hurt and harm then we realised.

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Prince Devitt +51

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Thanks for the replies @james38 and @viola06.
I will try to slowly try to ease myself out of the relationship. Monitor her reactions as time goes by. The last thing I want is for anyone to be physically hurt.

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Timing is everything -including relationships
Slowly, gradually be less caring and loving and wait for an argument to blow up before you cut ties
In that situation it will appear like a spontaneous and not deliberate action on your part.

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

No one has spend time and understand this lady’s personalties, dont know how true she is.. 逢场作戏 is ok, never get into the messy situation..

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Ask for a big loan... Maybe she will leave you. 患难见真情

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Fastest way to make friends run away :D

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

[QUOTE=flyingbullet;20747155]Been working in China for a number of years now. Recently hooked up with a syt online and the relationship is spiralling out of control. I having a family in Singapore whom I treasure and love. Covid prevented me from going back home for more than a yr now and I was feeling very lonely.

Why cannot come home? it a matter of quarantine only. dont mixed up and give yourself excuse. you stay on because of the job and money.

The syt was meant to be groomed as a FB, but quickly got emotionally attached. She recently told me a lot about her very traumatic past and she’s taking a lot of medication for mental illness.
I am very afraid of her hurting herself if I tell her that I have a family in Singapore, but I really do not want to destroy my family in Singapore.
Really at a loss now, I’m so screwed...

clean break will be best. or let her know she need space to heal herself first.

Any bro with advise on how to carry on the relationship without getting caught by either side? Or another way to break up with the syt without her doing anything dramatic?

you are under moral kidnap and held ransom by your heart. whether she got mental issue or not, it a matter of time you will break up or she will find out. also there is no certainty she will do anything dramatic. but for sure, she will make hell for your job in china. so best to break up early and let her pursue others.

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Tell her U are bisexual.... Or U have HIV:eek:
She sure run fast fast:D

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

Maybe cut down frequency of meeting up with her. Use heavy workload as an excuse.

do not think about status quo moving forward. It is unlikely to happen. This type of girl will cling on tightly one. and as you are also emotionally involved, you need to make the hard decision. family or love. It is never easy. Good luck.

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

I believe TS has started on the wrong foot. Usually what I do is I tell the lady I am married. Sometimes as both spend more time together, things gets intend and always starts to enjoy one another. However as I always say upfront, the lady accepted the fact. Most continue fucking until they find a husband. Then we say goodbye to each other. I attended their wedding also. Quite fun. 1 time a lady was fucking before her wedding. Both of us fell asleep but heng I woke up to pee at night. Haha!!! Immediately asked hotel to arrange for transport to send her back! Haha

Well, if from day 1, u bluff her say u r single, quite likely die cock stand. In the end, they may ask their jie mei or gui mi to come create trouble till you die cock stand. Really have to be careful.

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

If u lied to her about being married from day 1, i hope that karma will bite u real hard. :p

Re: I’m so screwed...
 

@bignehneh, I took your advice and told her that I’m married with kids in Singapore. But to lighten the blow, I told her that the reason why I came to China was becos I wasn’t getting along with my wife and wanted out. But is remaining In the marriage now for the sake of the kids.
I was expecting her to cry or blowup, but instead she said that she had expected it due to my age. We talked about it and she was surprising calm and happy that I opened up to her.
I felt better now that she knows I’m married, and the KC seems even deeper now. My plan now to is keep a certain distance so that I can maintain both sides. I think I’m in kind of a sweet spot at the moment, but am worried she will start talking about moving in to my place soon.

I appreciate all the replies as they help me look at the problem from different angles. Many thanks brothers. Burn me if you must becos I am a dick.