[Shrouded]

I cleaned up the mess outside and washed the broom and pail in the bathroom before putting it back.

Crystal was already sitting on the sofa in the living room when I came out. This time, at least she was more decently dressed, in a normal t-shirt and shorts. No bra again as I was pretty sure I could see her nipples poking through. She had tied her hair up in a bun now, as if she was anticipating more vomiting.

C: You came from work?

Me: Not exactly.

C: Sorry for the trouble.

I glanced at the numerous green bottles of different flavours of soju on the table.

Me: You drank everything?

C: Yeah.

Me: Are you ok now?

C: Yeah.

Me: I really can't find Jason.

C: I know.

Me: Will you be ok?

C: Even if I'm not, what can you do?

Me: I can ask Isabelle to come over.

C: Don't bother her. She has to take care of her kids. And you don't have her number.

Me: True.

C: Don't tell Jason anything.

Me: About what?

C: I think I said some stuff just now. Wasn't thinking straight.

Me: What did you say?

C: Don't play this game with me. I'm not in the mood.

Me: You slept with his close friends?

C: Once off. I was pissed at him. Cos I found out he lied about where he was.

Me: You know these kind of marriages are really common these days.

C: No it's not.

Me: I think it is.

C: Would you sleep around if you and your partner aren't sexually active?

Me: Well…

C: See!

Me: Actually…

C: Oh. You're another one of those assholes.

Me: What kind of asshole may that be?

C: The type that cheats on your partner.

Me: It's complicated.

She folded her arms and glared at me, essentially squishing her boobs together to make them look bigger.

C: Don't give me that lame excuse.

Me: Look, when you got married, like you said, for convenience, didn't you discuss sexual intimacy?

C: Of course we did!

Me: Really?

C: Well, we tried, wasn't really working out. But we spend so much time together, do things together, so naturally we're close right? Intimacy is there.

Me: That doesn't equate to having sex.

C: What do you mean?

Me: You slept with his friends. Why?

C: Revenge?

Me: But he doesn't know.

C: What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Me: Hahahaha. That's exactly what he said.

C: That ass.

Me: But hang on. You slept with his friends for revenge, and he doesn't know because you don't want to hurt him. So why did you do it?

C: I was lonely I guess.

Me: Lonely or horny? You said you spend a lot of time together.

C: Ok fine. I was horny.

Me: And your husband is right there.

C: It's difficult with him.

Me: Why? He's too big?

C: Haha! I wish.

I nearly wanted to say perhaps she should give EoS or Darren a call if she was horny, but decided against it. Who knows, they may have been the close friends of Jason that she slept with, which might explain why they were no longer close.

Me: Too small then?

C: He's ok.

Me: So what's the issue?

C: Fuck. This is embarrassing.

Me: Cos you're discussing your sex life with a stranger?

C: Sort of. Plus you're my cousins ex. My husband's close friend as well.

Me: We aren't that close. So what's the issue?

C: I'm not very aroused by him.

Me: Since the beginning?

C: No. We weren't really having a lot of sex to begin with. We just enjoyed each other's company.

Me: How long have you been together?

C: Married? Or together?

Me: Together.

C: Since JC. On and off.

Me: So around 20 years? Wow.

C: Yeah.

Me: So how many times have you had sex?

C: Can I not tell you that?

Me: Indulge me.

C: Argh. Probably less than 10.

Me: Wow. 20 years together, and you had sex every two years…

C: Last 10 years not so much. Maybe 3 or 4 times?

Me: So to a guy, don't you see how that may be a problem?

C: Why?

Me: Guys are generally quite horny. I know I am.

C: So how many times do you have sex with your partners? Do not include Isabelle. That I don't want to know.

Me: Recently, at least once a week, sometimes 3-4 times.

C: She sounds horny as well.

Me: Erm. I potentially have max 5 partners.

I probably shouldn't include Kate in the current list.

C: What the fuck??

Me: I said potentially.

C: Are you some kind of male escort or what?

Me: No.

C: You mentioned last time you had a partner?

Me: She's married. Undergoing divorce.

C: And you slept with her?

Me: Yes.

C: What the fuck?

Me: That's why I said it's complicated. Not everything is as simple as it seems.

C: And the rest? Your partner ok with it?

Me: She's ok.

C: How do you know?

Me: They're all friends. She kind of encourages it.

C: Are you in a cult or something? You need to go to church. My God. What's wrong with you?

Me: I'm not in a cult. It's just complicated.

C: You share sex partners. That's not right. Wait. Is Jason involved in this?

Me: No he's not.

C: You sure?

Me: You need to talk to him. Really.

C: I was very upset when I found out Jason was sleeping around the first time. Many years ago. We weren't even married 2 years then.

Me: Did you talk to him?

C: No. Didn't want to hear his excuses or reasons.

Me: And you slept with his friend?

C: Spur of the moment. For revenge.

Me: And you regret it?

C: I still regret it. A lot.

Me: But you did it again?

C: With a different guy.

Me: Multiple guys? Multiple times?

C: Of course not! What do you think I am? Some kind of slut?

Me: Just trying to see your motivations.

C: It happened every few months. Sometimes he came back and I could smell perfume, or maybe some long hairs that are not mine. I would act like nothing is wrong, but inside I was very angry. Then I would contact his close friends.

Me: Why?

C: I felt they would understand and wouldn't judge me because they knew what he was doing.

Me: And?

C: And I told them not to tell him. But secretly I hoped they would. So he can feel the pain of betrayal.

Me: What makes you think they'd tell him when you told them not to?

C: They're his close friends. His good buddies. The people who keep his secrets.

Me: If they kept his secrets why would they keep yours?

C: I don't know what I was thinking.

Me: So how many? Jason doesn't seem to have many close friends.

C: Two.

Me: Ok so you cheated twice only. Doesn't seem that bad.

C: I kept seeing one of them. For years. Until we stopped.

Me: Oh. Wait. You regretted it and you still regret it but you kept on doing it? Why?

C: We were compatible.

Me: Sexually?

C: Yes. He could turn me on with just a touch. I didn't even need lube like I did when I slept with Jason. He made me feel wanted, desired. He was very good at sex and made me crave for him even though I knew it was wrong.

Me: Did you ask him why he was ok with it?

C: He knew what Jason was doing behind my back.

Me: Doesn't explain why he's ok with it?

C: Free sex who doesn't want?

Me: Sounds like he was doing all the work.

C: Hey… I know how to pleasure a man ok… don't make it sound like I'm some clueless virgin.

I sort of recalled Jason sharing that she wouldn't even give him a blowjob but decided against asking about it.

Me: So you see, both you and him are sleeping around behind each other's backs, hoping either won't find out, but regret what you're doing. Yet you won't talk about it to see how to work things out. Maybe compromise? Since you enjoy each other's company? Maybe try to have more sex?

C: Does he regret?

Me: I don't know. Ask him yourself.

C: Have you ever had sex with a woman who wasn't aroused?

Me: Not that I can recall. Why?

C: Then you won't know how much it hurts. Even with lube sometimes it still hurts. But what hurts more is that I don't get that kind of feeling with the person I'm spending my life with.

Me: I don't use lube. Unless it's for the other hole.

C: You're sick.

Me: What? Never tried anal?

C: No. It's unnatural. And wrong.

Me: You feel sex outside of marriage is wrong. But you still do it.

C: Are you saying I should have anal sex?

Me: That's not what I'm suggesting.

C: Then?

Me: I'm just saying perhaps you need to have a good chat with him. Since you're hurting.

C: I really can't have sex with him. We tried. He doesn't turn me on.

Me: And you can't accept him getting his release from others?

C: Am I supposed to?

Me: That's why you should talk about it. Work something out. Have sex with him.

C: Which part of he doesn't turn me on are you not understanding?

Me: I think anyone can be turned on. But everyone is different. Just need to figure out which buttons to push.

Suddenly she laughed. It seemed genuine. I hoped maybe it was cheering her up.

C: I'd like to see you try.

Me: What?

C: Sorry. I didn't mean that.

Me: I know.

C: Only one guy "figured out those buttons", so to speak.

Me: You enjoy it?

C: Yes. Then I regret afterwards.

Me: And he's Jason's close friend. So why don't you figure out what he's doing, and tell Jason to do it that way?

C: You mean tell him how I like it?

Me: Yes.

C: It didn't work.

Me: Pleasure works both ways. Tell him how you like it, then ask him how he likes it.

C: I did tell him. He couldn't do it.

Me: Meaning?

C: He did the same things as the other guy. I still wasn't aroused.

Me: Oh well. Maybe this problem is psychological as well as physical.

C: He likes blowjobs. He told me before. But…

Me: What? It's unnatural?

C: Yes.

Me: Handjobs?

C: Unnatural.

Me: So when you have sex with the other guy, you just lie down and he puts it in?

C: Why are we even talking about this?

Me: It's fine if you don't want to share. I'm just trying to understand the situation better.

C: Then what? You'll give me advice? The guy who fucks around?

Me: Not advice. Maybe just my own experiences, so you can understand as well?

C: What happened to you? I thought you and Isabelle were going to get married?

Me: We broke up.

C: I know. Then you started fucking around?

Me: Sort of.

C: Knew it. Guys are like that.

Me: This isn't about me. It's about you and Jason.

C: Fine. I did everything with the other guy. Blowjobs, handjobs… I even let him lick me below. I don't know why. It didn't feel unnatural with him.

Me: You enjoyed it?

C: Of course I did. I enjoyed every single part of him. He did things to me that I never dreamed I would. And I did things to him as well.

Me: And then you regretted it. Then did it all over again. Don't you see the problem here?

C: I wish I could be the same with Jason. But I can't.

Me: Try harder?

C: It's tiring.

Me: Since he likes blowjobs, maybe do that?

C: I don't like to do it.

Me: But you do it with the other guy.

C: We're compatible.

Me: No. You're just being impossible. How great can another man's cock be?

C: Fine! I like his cock ok? The way it felt in my hand, my mouth, deep inside me. It's like a drug. Jason can't compare at all. And he can turn me on so easily. And after that I feel like a slut. But I still want it. When I was with him it was easier to ignore everything Jason was doing and be normal with him. Then we stopped when he got married…

Me: So that guy was a distraction of some kind?

C: I guess so. I felt happy when I was with him and the happiness translated to life at home.

Me: How long has it been since you stopped?

C: Couple of years.

Me: Did you find other distractions?

C: No. I only slept with those two guys.

Me: I guess you're frustrated then. Sexually or otherwise. Why didn't you look for another distraction? His other friends? Random people?

C: Didn't want to take a risk that we aren't compatible. Kind of sucks meeting a guy then realizing that it's going to hurt, but go through it anyway since I'm already there and I don't want to disappoint him.

Me: I don't think you need to go through with it if you find out you're not compatible right?

C: I'd feel obligated to try. Don't try, won't know.

Me: Right.

C: I just want to be happy. Is that so hard?

Me: Are you happy with Jason?

C: Yes.

Me: You said that without hesitation.

C: I am happy. It's just the things he does that I'm struggling to accept.

Me: That's why you're so controlling with him?

C: Yes. I just want to know where he is and what he's doing. Even if it's a lie, I just need to know he'll be back home safely. I can't lose him.

Me: So even if he's out fucking someone, you'd want to know as well? As long as he comes home?

C: No. I don't want to know.

Me: I think I get it now.

C: What?

Me: You're afraid Jason will fall for someone else because of the sex. Then he'll leave you. Then you'll lose your soulmate of sorts?

Crystal started to cry. I passed her a tissue. I guess my guess was right.

Me: Talk to him more. Really. Work things out.

C: We tried.

Me: Try harder. Don't try, won't know right?

She suddenly leaned over and hugged me. I got a little uncomfortable as her breasts pressed against my chest. Thank goodness I had already released a massive load before coming here. But her soft breasts were definitely causing a reaction.

C: Thank you. You're a good guy.

Me: I'm not.

C: You are.

She released me from the hug.

C: Why is there a tent in your pants?

I looked down. The tent was fucking obvious. Maybe I needed looser work pants. Or stop wearing boxers.

Me: Sorry. Natural reaction.

C: God. It's only a hug. You're a horny bastard.

Me: Sorry.

C: Really. Thank you. I didn't expect you to come over. I was just going to drink until I passed out or something.

Me: No worries.

She leaned over and hugged me again, still crying. I gingerly placed my arms around her to hug her back and she pulled me tighter, her soft breasts pressing against me again and my erection strained against my pants.

This wasn't how I thought I would be spending my National Day's eve.

I probably should go back to Shirlyn and hug her instead.