Originally Posted by Willamshakspear
Thanks cdcdcdc for your posts. Your English is good enough. We are no longer British subjects & bow to no one, & need not ape stiff upper lip English. English is internationally versatile, so long as as one can get the message across, it is done, & you did a good job. And your - from the heart & honest outpouring message will help many whom may be in similar situations but know not how to express it here in writing.
Fellow brothers' words can only do so much, but only you alone can help yourself, to get out of this infatuation over her driven by your hormones - genes which we under current science advancement have no ability to change. Thus do know that you are not a pervert in wanting to indulge in satisfying your sexual needs which all hormone driven males have, & furthermore, you had not harm or hurt anyone. So do not allow yourself to be put on a guilt trip.
Some belief in magic - white/black - and claimed some women may have such utility to control men & others. But in REALITY, there is NO magic in this world, only palour tricks or sleight of hand. What actually happened in your case is just an overload of hormones, which is only normal, controlling your mind over her charming presence, words & sexual abilities which you cant find in another, as well as the attention you craved for but never had thru her texting, feeding into your ego.
Many had turned to religion as a solace & help. Buddhism is not a religion, but a way of life. It teaches serenity & peace to troubled minds & help many to let go of troubles in the journey of life. Perhaps you may consider taking up some courses in Buddhism teachings after work, & realize the realities you faced, & find solutions out of your situation.
Scientifically, Hormones activates the mind thru electrical impulses, responsible for cravings. Words too have a way to activate the mind thru electrical impulses, & with wise teachings, it may help to counteract on the hormone driven impulses, empowering you to be one in control of your life & not by any other internal/external events or by other mortals.
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