My boring story...

[junebaby]

So anyway EoS texted me the day before to meet him at around 2pm at the Starbucks at Northpoint. I reached slightly after 130pm and ordered a drink before settling in a relatively quiet corner with my laptop. I really was intending on getting some work done while waiting. I let him know approximately where I was seated and waited patiently for him.

At 230pm he texted that he was stuck in the clinic. I shrugged and got another drink, letting him know that I'd still be here.

At 3pm, he still had not appeared. I was half-tempted to head to the clinic and book an appointment, but decided against it.

He finally showed up at 330pm.

E: Sorry about that. Had some stuff to settle.

Me: You really know how to make a girl wait. In more ways than one.

E: Well.. yeah.

Me: So what's the story?

E: Mark’s back with Ann.

Me: Huh???

E: I mean, he's staying there now.

Me: For real?

E: I think so? His car was there when I went over last weekend.

Me: Come again? Why go there?

E: He's the legal guardian of Ann's kids if anything happens to her.

Me: Did something happen?

E: Nope. Not that he said anything.

Me: Does Alicia know?

E: He isn't exactly talking to anyone these days.

Me: So what is he doing there?

E: Smoking and drinking?

Me: Are you being serious right now?

E: Yup.

Me: What exactly did Jasmine say that was so bad? Besides asking him to leave.

E: This is coming from him, so it's one-sided, and I'm not about to go find her to clarify.

Me: Well? What was it?

E: He said he tried to comfort her, telling her they can try again. Stuff like that.

Me: And?

E: She said no way, leave me alone, stop caring about me, you don't even know if it's yours. Get lost.

Me: What???

E: I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. I hope.

Me: That must have really hurt.

E: I guess it was the first few days after the procedure. She probably wasn't in the right state of mind?

Me: How would you know that?

E: Did you even read my story properly?

I tried to recall what he might be referring to.

Me: Oh yeah. Your godsis had a miscarriage. When did it happen though? They didn't come for Shirlyn's BBQ.

E: I don't know la. One night he just texted me and asked if I was free for a coffee. But he wasn't drinking coffee.

Me: Then?

E: We had a long talk and he confided in me then I sent him home? He obviously couldn't drive.

Me: Where is it?

E: Where is what?

Me: His home.

E: Oh. You mean Ann's house. It's in Siglap.

Me: He told you to send him there?

E: I wanted to send him back to Jasmine so they could talk or something. He said no. Just take him home. He wasn't very coherent but once he gave the address I more or less figured it's Ann's house. Then I saw the house and more or less confirmed it's Ann's house.

Me: She just let him in?

E: She wasn't there. The son let him in.

Me: And he's smoking and drinking only?

E: When I was there la. I'm sure he eats, sleeps, shits and whatever.

Me: What's your take on this?

E: Erm. I guess he'll be fine eventually? Hard to tell.

Me: Are you going over again?

E: If I'm free yeah.

Me: Can I go?

E: Why are you asking me? You should ask him.

Me: He's not replying. At all.

E: Hmm… oh ya. He did say something about you.

Me: What?

E: It's probably nothing, just his drunk self talking.

Me: What did he say?

E: He said he doesn't feel worthy to be your friend. He feels he let you down somehow. And that he probably should have just fucked whenever you guys had the chance.

Me: Really?

E: Something to that effect la. But he was trying to just be with Jasmine only, and everyone else just complicated matters.

Me: Yet he still slept with others.

E: At Jasmine's insistence apparently. If you wanna believe that.

Me: You don't?

E: I believe we're responsible for our own choices. The decisions we make have consequences.

Me: That sounds awfully familiar.

E: Something I learnt from someone a long time ago.

Me: Eh wait. So is he ok or not? And why isn't he replying to me?

E: I don't know. He's just drinking and smoking a lot. Nobody will know what he's feeling on the inside unless he tells us. But I think he looked rather normal when I was there? Not his usual cheery self though.

Me: Do you want to go and check on him?

E: Now?

Me: Can you?

E: I'm working. You wanna go yourself?

Me: Errr. Not so nice right? Since I'm not supposed to know where he is.

E: Give him a call first?

Me: If he even answers.

I swear he was rolling his eyes at me.

He took out his phone.

E: Hey. June wants to visit you. You cool with that?

He wasn't on speakerphone so I didn't know what Mark's reply was.

He hung up.

E: Ok. I'll text you the address. But don't go today, or tomorrow. Maybe the weekend. Let him know before you head over.

Me: Ok.

E: He also said since you're probably gonna write about it, everyone's gonna find out.

Me: Oh.

E: Just go talk to him, don't do anything else ok? I've gotta go back to work.

Me: Ok. Thanks for letting me know.

E: Really. I believe he'll be fine eventually. It's just when. And I'm serious. Just talk. Don't have sex with him.

Me: Err… what if he wants to have sex with me?

E: Oh. Then it's up to you. But I wouldn't encourage it. He just needs a listening ear right now.

Me: Ok fine.

He got up and left

E: See ya.

Oh well. Just a couple more days to go before I go check on Mark. I hope it goes well.

[1MDB]

Fantastic share sis. Look forward to more updates!

[fwchong]

thanks sis for sharing...

i guess for some of us, Mark has become from a virtual person to someone we can indentify with the pain he is going thru...

some of these symptoms are depression stage...and so it is good that there are people out there who still care for him...

we hope to see all of you back as a group again...

[junebaby]

As I had nothing better to do after EoS went back to work, I quickly cleared a couple more emails before wandering around the mall. It wasn't as if I had never been to Northpoint before, but I've never had a reason to actually walk around leisurely. Honestly there really wasn't much shopping to be done, most of my clothes were bought online, but I did spot a shop where I could sell my old clothes? And also this shop in the middle of nowhere that sold all the nostalgic snacks from my childhood. Obviously I didn't buy much, otherwise I'd need to bring my entire wardrobe to that shop to sell. I even walked past the clinic where EoS worked but didn't see him, guess he was somewhere inside.

It was still too early for dinner by the time I finished roaming around the mall.

As I got into my car, I texted EoS.

Me: Hey. Could I get the address?

E: You're going now? He said weekend.

Me: I'm just gonna drive by. Maybe eat around there. Drop some food off for him?

E: Oh. You better text him first then. If you're dropping by today.

Me: I will. But why do you make it seem like he isn't actually there?

E: Huh?

Me: I mean… you emphasized I should be going on the weekend.

E: Hahaha. Give him time to prepare to be more presentable?

Me: What do you mean?

E: Well, when I went over, let's just say he looked like he was living on the streets.

Me: Messy? Untidy?

E: Something like that.

Me: And how does that bother me?

E: Give him some face la.

Me: He's in a bad place in his life, I should be giving him more than some face.

E: Hope there's no double meaning there.

Me: There isn't. You wanna come with me then?

E: I end at 730.

Me: So late?

E: Start late, end late.

Me: I see. You don't have flexible working hours I guess?

E: Not really.

Me: I always thought operations had to do everything everywhere.

E: Well, certain days I'm here, certain days I'm elsewhere. Or if there's any urgent things that need to be done at the other clinic.

Me: I think your clinic in Siglap needs some help.

E: Funny. There's no clinic in Siglap.

Me: I know. Just trolling you.

E: You don't dare to go see him?

Me: It's not that.

E: Then?

Me: You said he feels he doesn't deserve my friendship and he let me down? Well, I feel the same way. I didn't constantly check up on him, or find out how he's doing.

E: Neither did I. What's the issue?

Me: I don't know. I guess I was so happy with the things we were doing that I didn't seriously consider how he was really coping with everything that was going on?

E: Whatever you guys did, it wouldn't have happened if he didn't want it to.

Me: But how he's running away from everything.

E: And yet he's still ok for you to go over.

Me: I think I let him down too.

E: Stop overthinking this. If you wanna go over now, just let him know. Worst case, he doesn't let you in and you made a wasted trip. Best case, he lets you in and you get lung cancer years later from the second hand smoke.

Me: Hmm. He's smoking inside the house?

E: Well I only went into the master bedroom, it smelt like those billiard saloons I used to go to in my youth.

Me: Oh. Haha. Wonder how Ann will react.

E: Who knows. She isn't around.

Me: So it's only him and the son in the whole house?

E: I guess so? Didn't see anyone else..

Me: I see.

E: Eh… I really need to get back to work. Just text him and go over or something.

Me: Ok. I should stop bothering you. Time is money right?

E: Well, you can let me book an appointment for you to see a dentist.

Me: That's too much money.

E: I don't control the prices here.

Me: Too bad.

E: Though you look like you need a clean and maybe orthodontic treatment.

Me: What the fuck? My teeth are relatively straight. And I don't think I can blow well with braces.

E: Some guys have that fetish. But there's other options.

Me: Ass. You like blowjobs with braces right? I'm pretty sure I read that in your story.

E: Haha. We're digressing.

Me: So if I get braces you'll let me blow you?

E: Totally digressing.

Me: Ya. You started it.

E: I could tell you all the benefits of having straighter teeth. But I'm not a dentist. So yeah, if you're keen, let me know and I'll help you book an appointment.

Me: This is the weirdest sales pitch I've ever heard in my life.

E: Business is bad. Need more patients.

Me: Ok ok. I better stop disturbing you then.

E: Drive safely.

Me: Remember to text me the address.

E: Yeah.

I waited awhile longer for him to text the address before keying it into my GPS and sat there pondering if I should really head down or not.

I dropped Mark a text and started driving. Even if he didn't reply, I guess I could try to figure out where those food places he wrote about was.

[junior_cannibal]

Curious, after knowing Mark is alive and not on the street, you still wanted to see him when his status is likely to be 'complicated' if he has it in FB.
While it's rather unexpected that he went back to Ann, it's not exactly totally unexpected. When you get to see him, what do you plan to ask him or find out about him?
If he's indeed hurt by what Jasmine told him, he went back to Ann so soon would be rather weird. When he's with Jasmine, he seemed to be super serious about her. Just by some cruel words of hers drive him back to Ann would be very weak for him.
Besides, Ann could be busy seeing other guys she could hit up in clubs, other than nesting him in her house, he got no where else to go? Not even his own parent's place?

[fwchong]

Based on what we read about Mark life, he prefer to live outside his parents place and if he got no place to stay beside Jasmine condo, I think Ann place is the next best choice in this situation.

Originally Posted by junior_cannibal

Curious, after knowing Mark is alive and not on the street, you still wanted to see him when his status is likely to be 'complicated' if he has it in FB.
While it's rather unexpected that he went back to Ann, it's not exactly totally unexpected. When you get to see him, what do you plan to ask him or find out about him?
If he's indeed hurt by what Jasmine told him, he went back to Ann so soon would be rather weird. When he's with Jasmine, he seemed to be super serious about her. Just by some cruel words of hers drive him back to Ann would be very weak for him.
Besides, Ann could be busy seeing other guys she could hit up in clubs, other than nesting him in her house, he got no where else to go? Not even his own parent's place?

[junebaby]

Mark didn't reply, but I still headed to the area anyway, trying to see where I could park when I dropped by on the weekend.

I spotted his car in the driveway, so I guess he was probably home, but likely wasn't ready to see me.

I drove around that part of the east rather aimlessly after that, trying to find something that I probably could tapau back for an early dinner, and somehow ended up somewhere else instead.

I don't know what possessed me but I drove straight to the church at Tanjong Katong Road, and sat in my car just staring at the grotto. I probably should have gotten out and maybe said a prayer or something but I didn't really move at all, just silently offering up a few words.

I suddenly wasn't feeling very hungry so I merely headed home and hoped to beat what ever heavy traffic lay ahead on the route.

Mark still hadn't replied when I reached home so I just let it be and took a shower, waited for Mike/Tom to come home before we headed out to the coffeeshop for dinner.

As usual, they were gaming after dinner and I let them be. They tried to initiate sex when they took a break but somehow I wasn't interested, preferring to just lie in bed and read Mark's thread from the beginning again to see if there was any further indication/explanation as to why he would react this way but there really wasn't much that I could decipher.

I contemplated confronting Jas about what she said, but then again it really wasn't any of my business. Besides, her words could have been misconstrued or perhaps Mark had exaggerated the severity? But still, really none of my business.

By the time Mike came to bed it was nearly midnight and I was still browsing the thread. He told me not to think so much about it and just be there for Mark in my own capacity.

Me: What if he desires sexual comfort?

M: Well, you're an adult. You can decide for yourself. And honestly I'm still surprised you two haven't had sex yet.

Me: Well… I don't know. I don't want to confuse or upset him.

M: Whatever it is, just be safe. I can go with you if you want.

Me: Nah. I'll be fine. Mark won't hurt me. Intentionally at least.

M: I'd be more concerned if he hurts you unintentionally. I think that would be worse for him.

Me: Good point. So I shouldn't go find him?

M: That's really up to you.

Me: I guess I'll sleep on it.

He kissed me goodnight.

I really had nothing to do the next day as I was working from home. All I did was clear emails and eat, and reject sex from Mike and Tom, which I gotta admit, kind of surprised them a little.

Mark still had not replied and I was beginning to wonder if EoS was actually pulling a fast one one me.

I was contemplating calling him as advised by EoS, but part of me also wanted to give Mark a little space, especially if he was potentially preparing himself mentally for meeting me on the weekend.

Friday was no different. I got so bored that I actually took a nap during lunch and woke up at dinner. In those 6 odd hours, there were no incoming emails, no calls, no texts. I actually wondered if I still had a job.

Mike was going to be late due to a company event so I was left with Tom for dinner. We headed to the coffeeshop.

T: Hey… I'm … erm… going out later.

Me: Who are you fucking this time?

T: Alicia.

Me: Uh huh.

T: Do you want supper or anything?

Me: Nope.

T: Are you feeling ok?

Me: Yeah.

T: You don't sound ok.

Me: I'm just frustrated.

T: About what?

Me: Myself? I don't know.

T: Why are you frustrated?

Me: I really can't explain it. It's just… I feel like a friend is in trouble and there's nothing I can do.

T: Ah.

Me: Do you think I should be seeing him tomorrow?

T: Did he ask to see you?

Me: I'm not sure. EoS was the one who called him.

T: So you don't actually know if he wants to see you.

Me: Nope.

T: Do you want to?

Me: I guess so. I don't know. I just wanna see that he's doing fine.

T: It takes time to get over it. Don't rush it.

Me: Am I rushing it?

T: Who knows. Have you called him to ask?

Me: Nope.

T: What are you waiting for?

Me: I'm afraid he won't answer.

T: Er. So because you're afraid you don't try?

Me: Yeah.

T: But if you don't try, you won't know?

Me: That's true.

T: So you need to try first right?

Me: Yeah.

T: Well, I don't know what you're afraid of. Just do it. Then deal with whatever the outcome is.

Me: I'll do it tomorrow.

We didn't really have anything else to talk about so we ate in silence before he sent me back up.

Mike was going to be late so I watched some Netflix, took a shower and started rolling around first, trying to figure out what I should say to Mark tomorrow when I called, or when I met him physically.

At midnight I was still wide awake.

If I didn't sleep soon, I'd definitely be suffering the next day.