Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by TheIdesOfMarch

My personal view though? Mai tu liao, divorce is better than being stuck in a sexless loveless marriage.

Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.

Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.

Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.

[dman19]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.

Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.

Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.

fully agree on this. exactly my thoughts too

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.

Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.

Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.

true.... good share

[jhoho]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

true.... good share

Can second this approach, it's the quiet quit method. Less messy than full divorce but need to be able to maintain a good mental state or can be very tormenting. Some people can't stand not saying anything about the issue and being wronged. With good mental state, you learn to let it all go and just learn to care for yourself while choosing the least painful option. This approach does open reconnection in the future, assuming you don't get caught bonking someone else and you also don't dig your partner's private life. Live and let live so they say. Not easy, but with the right help (therapist) can be done.

[suzy4ever]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.

Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.

Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.

but in reality, at a certain age, when it's time to stop playing, you will definitely return to a close relationship with your wife and spend the rest of your life together. there is a time to play and stop

[ghostcow]

Originally Posted by TheIdesOfMarch

Full disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.

If I were you I'd be secretly recording down a couple of times you have this convo with your wife and she tells you to go and use your hands. If you can trigger an actual argument with her where she candidly tells you in a fit of anger or whatever that she no longer has any interest in making your marriage with her a sexually fulfilling or even active one, even better for you.

Then keep the recordings and go have your FWB extramarital sex life. They will be useful in future to protect yourself with in best case scenario of you initiating divorce citing irretrievable breakdown of marriage due to breakdown in intimacy, or in worst case scenario if she finds out about you fucking someone outside and wants a divorce with you, those recordings can come in handy when played to the judge in court to demonstrate that the marriage breakdown isn't 100% down to you committing adultery outside.

My personal view though? Mai tu liao, divorce is better than being stuck in a sexless loveless marriage.

Thank senior bro for this advice, will keep in mind in the future if I end up in sexless marriage.

Any senior bros can share whether marry sinkie bu will be sexless marriage? Thanks

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by suzy4ever

but in reality, at a certain age, when it's time to stop playing, you will definitely return to a close relationship with your wife and spend the rest of your life together. there is a time to play and stop

you seem to be very pro wife pro marriage

this is on the presumption that the man is playing because he is lustful

there are those whose marriage is falling apart for decades and so he tries to move on. Not playing, but trying to move forward.

[torogun]

here to report

[dman19]

Originally Posted by ghostcow

Thank senior bro for this advice, will keep in mind in the future if I end up in sexless marriage.

Any senior bros can share whether marry sinkie bu will be sexless marriage? Thanks

I think you marry any bu also can end up in sexless marriage. Well sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are looking for in a marriage. Lets say you marry a girl who gives you lots and plenty of sex anytime you want it but treat your family and kids like sh*t and put them in second priority, would you want to live through that?

I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.

[ghostcow]

Originally Posted by dman19

I think you marry any bu also can end up in sexless marriage. Well sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are looking for in a marriage. Lets say you marry a girl who gives you lots and plenty of sex anytime you want it but treat your family and kids like sh*t and put them in second priority, would you want to live through that?

I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.

Thx bro for the advice and it is a fresh perspective on marry sinkie bu being a better choice because I mostly saw sinkie bu being seen as gold cb compared to foreign bu with less expectations.

Wanted up u but realised I have up before.

[lokosko]

Originally Posted by dman19

I think you marry any bu also can end up in sexless marriage. Well sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are looking for in a marriage. Lets say you marry a girl who gives you lots and plenty of sex anytime you want it but treat your family and kids like sh*t and put them in second priority, would you want to live through that?

I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.

you right bro. After doing it, there will still be problems. and there are many expectations from them and our own expectations that do not match. because from the start we ourselves were not clear about what we wanted

[lornjourney]

Originally Posted by dman19

I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.

That is so true. Personally, I feel not all sinker bu have high expectation for their spouse. But once you got married to sinker bu. Many willing to go through thick and thin with you. Whereas foreign ladies, they might have a wrong perception that sinker guys are richer and must be able to support their family needs.

Even for rich foreign spouse, I saw she commanding her sinker husband to do things because she have higher earning. Maybe it just my social circle, I don’t really feel sinker bu are that bad.

[DomesticHelper2]

My sisters are looking for these cheaters who only talk but don't dare to come fuck.

[roy2920]

After reading through this thread, I think it’s about time I shared mine that just concluded last week. I benefitted so much from bros’ experience.
Met this Bakso in KL once and it was the best GFE I had after more than 20 years mongering. Unfortunately, she returned to her country when I tried to book her again. However, we keep in touch with casual texting. Few months later, I managed to book her for three nights in Jakarta and had a blast fucking all day, sightseeing and clubbing. Feel so good to have a sexy girl half your age in your arm all day. FWB really tasted different from ST girl that just give you 1 hour of pleasure and I become addicted to it. Booked her again for another two working trips in Jakarta and that’s when she proposed to be a couple. She knew I am married and I even clearly mentioned that this will never be a long term relationship. We texted every day. She put our photos (with my face censored – my condition) on her socmeds, announced publicly that we are a couple, quit her escorting and returned to her hometown. I was in cloud 9. Took her for holiday in KL and Thailand. Also visited her very dilapidated house in a very remote hometown, and met her 3 year old daughter and many relatives.
The companionship is however not all sweet. After the first two meetings, I noticed that she has some vaginal discharge and brought her for STD testing. That is the scariest moment of my life as she is tested positive for chlamydia, gonorrhoea and herpes. Fortunately, not HIV. But I just fear the worst as I raw with her in our second meeting. I went for extensive testing as well, three times and so glad that I am still negative. Send her for treatment until all clear up. As she is not earning, I paid her monthly allowance of Rp4jt on top of her other necessities. However, the necessities’ list keeps getting longer. From her wifi, to land rent, to donation, to saloon, to outing with friends, to her relative’s graduation, and even her house renovation. Furthermore, there is clearly something wrong with the value system of girls who are/were in the industry. Years of bonking and servicing made them unaware of the intimacy boundaries and perhaps affect their mental state too. She doesn’t find it wrong to still keep in touch with her past clients, going out with her male friends and drinking alcohol with them even at her home. Even though she mentioned that nothing indecent happened and she didn’t hide anything from me, but I know for certain that she can’t take more than 3 glasses before being dead drunk. And anything can happen. I know for sure I can’t keep my hand off a drunk sexy girl 😊 She also seems to be occasionally hallucinating, and deluded – like there is an assassin or hacker coming for her.
We reached a turning point when I saw pictures of her being intimate with another guy and romantically excited meeting her ex. The thing is that she feels nothing wrong with that. I broke up with her, but she pleaded for 2nd chance so that she can support her daughter. Took pity on her and relented. But then I noticed that we were getting more distance. We still text everyday but I can’t see her socmed updates and she no longer send me messages or photos of her outings. But, one thing for certain is she will always ask for money. And she still keeps going out and drinking with her male friends.
After 7 months of relationship, I officially ended it last week. I think it’s not worth it, in term of money or emotion to be romantically involved with a FL. They are damaged goods. Sure, they want to change but the cost and emotion to change them can be overwhelming, especially for long distance relationships. To fully trust them, in their distorted value system, is very difficult.