A thought on the dating scene

[frovu]

So... I'm back on the dating scene.

A girl sent me a request on Kaki and we connected on Telegram.

After chatting for a few days, I asked her for coffee or something, or a date, on one of the chats. The meetup was to be on a Saturday, which was a week or two ago.
She didn't respond to anything, and then, on the Friday evening before the meetup, she suddenly popped up to say, oh, she had to go to a meeting the next day.

So, fine. Whenever she chats, it's like she's busy doing something.

After a while, with the impression of me getting ignored, I just deleted her chats and contact. This happened one, or two, up to three weeks ago.

Today, she suddenly popped up on my chat, and asked how I'm doing. After I responded with a query, she said we'll be meeting up soon. I promptly told her I'm no longer interested in a meetup, wished her a great life, and deleted the entire chat.

If people are not interested in a date, they should straight away answer no. If people are interested in a date, but they can't do it on the proposed date itself, they should offer an alternative. Not providing any alternative, and not saying anything, is a sign of disinterest.

They shouldn't expect to be getting a date back if they weren't responsive.

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by frovu

So... I'm back on the dating scene.

A girl sent me a request on Kaki and we connected on Telegram.

After chatting for a few days, I asked her for coffee or something, or a date, on one of the chats. The meetup was to be on a Saturday.
She didn't respond to anything, and then, on the Friday evening, she suddenly popped up to say, oh, she had to go to a meeting the next day.

So, fine. Whenever she chats, it's like she's busy doing something.

After a while, with the impression of me getting ignored, I just deleted her chats and contact, so that I won't be able to contact her again. This happened one, or two, up to three weeks ago.

Today, she suddenly popped up on my chat, and asked how I'm doing. After I responded with a query, she said we'll be meeting up soon. I promptly told her I'm no longer interested in a meetup, wished her a great life, and deleted the entire chat.

If people are not interested in a date, they should straight away answer no. If people are interested in a date, but they can't do it on the proposed date itself, they should offer an alternative. Not providing any alternative, and not saying anything, is a sign of disinterest.

They shouldn't expect to be getting a date back if they weren't responsive.

Agreed. She had an alternative which didn't turn out well so you as her back up plan came up as a solution.

You did the right thing and well to preserve your dignity.

[unsung80]

U military officer? Everything must report to you meh? Why so sour about it?

[frovu]

Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin

Agreed. She had an alternative which didn't turn out well so you as her back up plan came up as a solution.

Ok, seems like I didn't communicate the circumstances or the story well here.

Her meetup which clashed with my proposed meetup was last week or two weeks ago.

So, no, it's not that my meetup was an alternative.

She simply didn't say yes, or say no.

[frovu]

Originally Posted by unsung80

U military officer? Everything must report to you meh? Why so sour about it?

Lol.

If someone asks you a question, there's 2 scenarios. Either answer y/n, or ignore.

She chose to ignore my question.

So, like other people sharing a sex story, I'm just sharing a dating/non-dating story.

[I Love Boobs]

Originally Posted by unsung80

U military officer? Everything must report to you meh? Why so sour about it?

Agreed. Come here and vent for what?

[LordVader]

Originally Posted by I Love Boobs

Agreed. Come here and vent for what?

I think this is just sharing of his encounter?

[I Love Boobs]

Originally Posted by LordVader

I think this is just sharing of his encounter?

Simi encounter?
Never even met, what more fuck...

[Jamed]

what if she got a valid reasons for postponing - due to family etc... aiyo these days so harsh harsh

[ronaldaceice]

if she really interested she would have gave an alternative date

[ET]

If it is too good to be true it is SCAM

[unsung80]

Originally Posted by Jamed

what if she got a valid reasons for postponing - due to family etc... aiyo these days so harsh harsh

That's what I thought so too, in the end she did msg you again but u decide not to follow up. Fine that's your choice, but u did not gain anything in the end. She will just move on next, and so you stuck here complaining to us?

[TheIdesOfMarch]

Originally Posted by unsung80

That's what I thought so too, in the end she did msg you again but u decide not to follow up. Fine that's your choice, but u did not gain anything in the end. She will just move on next, and so you stuck here complaining to us?

He's not complaining. He's sharing. He's not saying hurr durr girl reject him because he NMNHNLM.

In fact, full credit to him, he acts in a way many SG guys will never be able to act. So many of us act like women are born on pedestals and we rush to respond and meet the whims and fancies of women whenever they ask something of us or show us attention at their time of choosing. They're not catches. They're human like us too. And if they act like we men are options for them then they definitely should not be the priority for us either.

Nowadays dating in SG is so hard I rather spend my money on commercial sex with escorts and the like. I ironically get more clarity and straightforwardness with paid women than I do with normal SG women looking to date/hookup/marry.

[hi2u]

I agree with you that it is pretty turned off. Dating apps were not like that in the past. I remember chatting up and meeting up a few girls from Tinder (nothing happened btw).
But these days, people just MIA. Why use dating apps when not responsive? lol I find it funny as well.

Originally Posted by frovu

So... I'm back on the dating scene.

A girl sent me a request on Kaki and we connected on Telegram.

After chatting for a few days, I asked her for coffee or something, or a date, on one of the chats. The meetup was to be on a Saturday, which was a week or two ago.
She didn't respond to anything, and then, on the Friday evening before the meetup, she suddenly popped up to say, oh, she had to go to a meeting the next day.

So, fine. Whenever she chats, it's like she's busy doing something.

After a while, with the impression of me getting ignored, I just deleted her chats and contact. This happened one, or two, up to three weeks ago.

Today, she suddenly popped up on my chat, and asked how I'm doing. After I responded with a query, she said we'll be meeting up soon. I promptly told her I'm no longer interested in a meetup, wished her a great life, and deleted the entire chat.

If people are not interested in a date, they should straight away answer no. If people are interested in a date, but they can't do it on the proposed date itself, they should offer an alternative. Not providing any alternative, and not saying anything, is a sign of disinterest.

They shouldn't expect to be getting a date back if they weren't responsive.

[frovu]

Originally Posted by TheIdesOfMarch

He's not complaining. He's sharing. He's not saying hurr durr girl reject him because he NMNHNLM.

In fact, full credit to him, he acts in a way many SG guys will never be able to act.

Thank you for recognizing what I'm sharing here.