All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law - Page 44

MaMistress · #**646** 18-10-2012, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BODO

Had a big fight with my wife. Now she wants to file a divorce.

Wat shall I do?
Actually, our problem started many years ago.
But I just endure it for the pass few years.

No third party or family violence involved.
(I am actually the victim for family violence)

I don't mind a divorce.
But I can't bear to part with my 3 yrs old son.

Please advise.

Don't do it.
There is no way you can win with the Womens Charter on her side it is a given that the kid will go with her, which means you will be paying child maintenance for the next 18 years. On top of that you may also have to pay maintenance to your ex-wife too.

Rough it out for another few years until your son is about 10-12 yrs old, then the court will let him have a say on whom he wants to live with.

samsonboy · #**647** 18-10-2012, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BODO

Had a big fight with my wife. Now she wants to file a divorce.

Wat shall I do?
Actually, our problem started many years ago.
But I just endure it for the pass few years.

No third party or family violence involved.
(I am actually the victim for family violence)

I don't mind a divorce.
But I can't bear to part with my 3 yrs old son.

Please advise.

Bro, divorce is sour in every way ... especially when you have kids, its just making things worst (you cannot split your child into 2 , can you ? )

If there are things that are not align with 2 parties, talk it out ... if need be, treat your wife to a short trip ... it might help her to release her anger and find out who is at the wrong part (maybe there is still chance to talk outside the house, the stress is not so big....)

In case of alimony, there is nothing in the context of the law to state that the woman has priority in the child (fairness is the key). but the society keeps looking as most of the child alimony has been given to the woman side, this puts the stress on to the defense lawyers (the men), we would have to prove that the child has much more to gain if they were to follow daddy (more money, more care and sort...)

somehow, one party will lose out... its just who thats the case

Frankiestine · #**648** 18-10-2012, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaMistress

Don't do it.
There is no way you can win with the Womens Charter on her side it is a given that the kid will go with her, which means you will be paying child maintenance for the next 18 years. On top of that you may also have to pay maintenance to your ex-wife too.

Rough it out for another few years until your son is about 10-12 yrs old, then the court will let him have a say on whom he wants to live with.

I thought child maintenance must keep on paying as long he is still schooling, so even if he or she already 20s studying in U still have to pay.

winterhottie · #**649** 18-10-2012, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samsonboy

Bro, divorce is sour in every way ... especially when you have kids, its just making things worst (you cannot split your child into 2 , can you ? )

If there are things that are not align with 2 parties, talk it out ... if need be, treat your wife to a short trip ... it might help her to release her anger and find out who is at the wrong part (maybe there is still chance to talk outside the house, the stress is not so big....)

In case of alimony, there is nothing in the context of the law to state that the woman has priority in the child (fairness is the key). but the society keeps looking as most of the child alimony has been given to the woman side, this puts the stress on to the defense lawyers (the men), we would have to prove that the child has much more to gain if they were to follow daddy (more money, more care and sort...)

somehow, one party will lose out... its just who thats the case

I assume you are not a local. You do not understand the way the Women's Charter is interpreted here. We do not have alimony here. However the Women's Charter provides us an avenue to claim maintenance for our children and ourselves. So who shall be made to pay? The men of course. The last thing the government wants is to have divorced women and children from broken families to be a financial burden to them so they will make them men pay up regardless of their circumstances. Speaking as a female I can give an insight into how the Women's Charter is used as a social engineering tool. It will never be repealed by the government. The previous Chairwoman of AWARE made an attempt to petition the Government to amend the Women's Charter to be gender neutral.... she was replaced immediately.

I was first introduced to the WC in secondary school. And we had constant reminders and talks throughout our education until graduation. We were taught the WC is there to help us the weaker sex and advice and assistance is always available to us should we require it. It was constantly drummed into our heads the WC is for our advantage. It is good to be a female in Singapore.

kra77 · #**650** 19-10-2012, 12:55 AM

Can someone provide some guidance if I want to do the divorce proceedings without any lawyer due to budget constraint?

Please pm.

Thanks.

samsonboy · #**651** 19-10-2012, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winterhottie

I assume you are not a local. Y....

yes, I am not local currently but once I am.. But I am married to my wife who is a singaporean... The Woman's Charter is used to help woman who is by nature a weaker agenda than men... but the current situation,it is not...

Can I bring you to an example, if the wife has say 8 businesses under her with a annual turnover is about 8 to 10 billion per year while the husband is a "house-husband" , no education, no work experiences and nothing... in this case, who is the weaker agenda, the male or the female ?? if they were to divorce, how could the husband be paying alimony if he/she doesnt have a work at all ?

Bring to your extension, Law is blind but justice is an eye opener. The problem is , maybe in singapore, Justice doesnt exist...

Frankiestine · #**652** 19-10-2012, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samsonboy

y
Can I bring you to an example, if the wife has say 8 businesses under her with a annual turnover is about 8 to 10 billion per year while the husband is a "house-husband" , no education, no work experiences and nothing... in this case, who is the weaker agenda, the male or the female ?? if they were to divorce, how could the husband be paying alimony if he/she doesnt have a work at all ?

There has been a precedent where the man won and was awarded maintenance by the fucking familee cock because he gave up his career to be home keeper while the ex-oc went out to expand hers...but that is such a rarity...

samsonboy · #**653** 19-10-2012, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

There has been a precedent where the man won and was awarded maintenance by the fucking familee cock because he gave up his career to be home keeper while the ex-oc went out to expand hers...but that is such a rarity...

doesnt mean that it doesnt exist.. woman earning more than man does exist ....

winterhottie · #**654** 20-10-2012, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

There has been a precedent where the man won and was awarded maintenance by the fucking familee cock because he gave up his career to be home keeper while the ex-oc went out to expand hers...but that is such a rarity...

That case was an exception because the wife did not want the child and hence custody was given to the husband. But because the husband had not been working the MCYS were concerned that they may become a burden to the state.
Therefore the Family Court ordered the wife to pay child maintenance to the caregiver of the child which was the husband in this case.

winterhottie · #**655** 20-10-2012, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samsonboy

Can I bring you to an example, if the wife has say 8 businesses under her with a annual turnover is about 8 to 10 billion per year while the husband is a "house-husband" , no education, no work experiences and nothing... in this case, who is the weaker agenda, the male or the female ?? if they were to divorce, how could the husband be paying alimony if he/she doesnt have a work at all ? .

Whether you have the means to pay or not is not the concern of the Court. As long as the wife ask for maintenance, she will be entitled to it..... although the quantum may be set as low as $1 only.

Frankiestine · #**656** 20-10-2012, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winterhottie

Whether you have the means to pay or not is not the concern of the Court. As long as the wife ask for maintenance, she will be entitled to it..... although the quantum may be set as low as $1 only.

Yeah any lawyers worth their salt will always advise the oc side never to state as don't want maintenance but at least put in a nominal value of $1 so that they can vary it at a later stage if there is any change in circumstance....so as guys we are literally screwed for life..

MaMistress · #**657** 22-10-2012, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

I thought child maintenance must keep on paying as long he is still schooling, so even if he or she already 20s studying in U still have to pay.

Education is a life-long affair. Surely you cannot be responsible if the child continues his/her education up to their 30s or 40s.... there has to be a cutoff age applicable and the norm is 21. After which the payment is voluntarily up to you on your part. However there are exceptions in that sometimes agreements between both parties are made during the proceedings as to the childrens' education and these have to be abided.

BODO · #**658** 22-10-2012, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samsonboy

Bro, divorce is sour in every way ... especially when you have kids, its just making things worst (you cannot split your child into 2 , can you ? )

If there are things that are not align with 2 parties, talk it out ... if need be, treat your wife to a short trip ... it might help her to release her anger and find out who is at the wrong part (maybe there is still chance to talk outside the house, the stress is not so big....)

In case of alimony, there is nothing in the context of the law to state that the woman has priority in the child (fairness is the key). but the society keeps looking as most of the child alimony has been given to the woman side, this puts the stress on to the defense lawyers (the men), we would have to prove that the child has much more to gain if they were to follow daddy (more money, more care and sort...)

somehow, one party will lose out... its just who thats the case

My wife is determined to file a divorce and getting a lawyer to do so.
So, on my side, wat shall I do to get prepared? Also getting a lawyer too?
I have to protect my own rights, not just agree to whatever terms she say.
Or just discuss with her lawyer on these matter?

If go separate first before divorce, need to engage lawyer?

All terms and condition and money matters and child custody
To discuss before separation?

BODO · #**659** 22-10-2012, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samsonboy

Bro, divorce is sour in every way ... especially when you have kids, its just making things worst (you cannot split your child into 2 , can you ? )

If there are things that are not align with 2 parties, talk it out ... if need be, treat your wife to a short trip ... it might help her to release her anger and find out who is at the wrong part (maybe there is still chance to talk outside the house, the stress is not so big....)

In case of alimony, there is nothing in the context of the law to state that the woman has priority in the child (fairness is the key). but the society keeps looking as most of the child alimony has been given to the woman side, this puts the stress on to the defense lawyers (the men), we would have to prove that the child has much more to gain if they were to follow daddy (more money, more care and sort...)

somehow, one party will lose out... its just who thats the case

My wife is determine to file a divorce and is getting a lawyer to do so.

So wat shall I do to protect my own rights?
Definitely not agree to whatever terms she requested.

So I need to get a lawyer too or just discuss the terms
together with her lawyer?

Every details shall be discuss before separation, then divorce, right?
Money matters, property and my child's custody...

Experience brothers please advise. And any lawyer to recommend?
What is the cost like?

TheDrifter · #**660** 23-10-2012, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BODO

And any lawyer to recommend?

Go to the Family Court and sit inside to observe the proceedings. You can see the various lawyers at work and more or less will know the good ones from the bad ones. Approach the ones that impressed you and have a talk with them.

This is a bettr way of choosing a lawyer than tikam tikam from the yellow pages.