Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by besarhuge2

Yup good work indeed.

P/s Bro, have returned your favour

Thank you very much.

[Goldenhair]

Hi guys, after a short period of courtship, i kinda hooked up with a vietnamese girl. She's not a WL or GRO or anything. Just a decent kinda of girl (verified by friend's VN wife). She used to operate a cafe and before that work in a resturant as a manageress. She only likes to stay in VN and dont really wanna leave VN even to live in SG.

Right now, we are kinda of having a long term relationship. I fly there every month sometimes 2 times a month just to be with her for 5 -8 days a month. Its kinda painful on the pockets long term, so right now I am trying to see if its feasible to continue this relationship since she refuses to even come SG as she have to take care of her father whom i met plenty of times aldy.(nose cancer patient). My concern is that as she is not working now, she will be bored in HCMC and bored girls tends to stray. Anyone has any experience to share in this?

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by Goldenhair

Hi guys, after a short period of courtship, i kinda hooked up with a vietnamese girl. She's not a WL or GRO or anything. Just a decent kinda of girl (verified by friend's VN wife). She used to operate a cafe and before that work in a resturant as a manageress. She only likes to stay in VN and dont really wanna leave VN even to live in SG.

Right now, we are kinda of having a long term relationship. I fly there every month sometimes 2 times a month just to be with her for 5 -8 days a month. Its kinda painful on the pockets long term, so right now I am trying to see if its feasible to continue this relationship since she refuses to even come SG as she have to take care of her father whom i met plenty of times aldy.(nose cancer patient). My concern is that as she is not working now, she will be bored in HCMC and bored girls tends to stray. Anyone has any experience to share in this?

There are a few similar cases here. Most of the girl not working after a while due to some reasons.

You can ask her to get a job or quickly get married then start a business for her. I read you wanted to start a restaurant business for her. Unless you can control the quality of food or she is a good chef otherwise not easy to hire a good reliable chef that can stay long with you.

Taking care of father who has cancer depends on what stage? Can be very busy running up and down hospital. But if still in early stages then yes she will be bored without any work. Many example of long distance relationship is a test of endurance and strained on finances. Hope you think long term and not short term, If cannot decide then just enjoy the friendly relationshp and move on.

[Goldenhair]

Thank you very much Surescore. Actually to be honest, I was a bit apprehsive and panaroid when I first met her. We met on a good friend's son's birthday dinner. She was the niece of my good friend's wife's uncle. I am and still are very panaroid when meeting VN girls as I want to make sure they are not WL/GLs. I apologise if I sound bigot, but I just cannnot accept that a girl will like an old and ugly man unless she is out for future security to live better and not real feelings.

It is until i read through all the previous posts and I kinda feel that hey! Maybe i am biased. Maybe not all VN girls are that crafty like PRCs. Anyway will update the situation in May. Will use some of my graduatity to try setting up the resturant. It is really a big gamble emotionally and financially for me. But I sincerely hope its worth it. Right now i am just glad we are in the honeymoon stage and she has yet to request anything for me. But i did buy perfumes for her whenever I fly over.

I feel its also quite selfish on my part as I want the resturant to keep her busy so that she will not be bored and stray. So far so good.

UPDATE: mama flying in from taiwan this May to check me out.. Apparently the Father likes me. But the one wearing the pants is the Mama!!1 Stress!!! Any gift suggestions for mama?? Stress!!!!...since during the brother's wedding, mama is busy taking of sick elder sister's son in Taiwan. now she's flying in just to check me out...siao liao..

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by Goldenhair

Will use some of my graduatity to try setting up the resturant. It is really a big gamble emotionally and financially for me. But I sincerely hope its worth it. Right now i am just glad we are in the honeymoon stage and she has yet to request anything for me. But i did buy perfumes for her whenever I fly over.

I feel its also quite selfish on my part as I want the resturant to keep her busy so that she will not be bored and stray. So far so good.

UPDATE: mama flying in from taiwan this May to check me out.. Apparently the Father likes me. But the one wearing the pants is the Mama!!1 Stress!!! Any gift suggestions for mama?? Stress!!!!...since during the brother's wedding, mama is busy taking of sick elder sister's son in Taiwan. now she's flying in just to check me out...siao liao..

Make sure you marry her first before you invest in anything in her name. Even that she can still sell away without your approval since is her name. There are other methods to safe guard, please speak to your lawyer or Seniors here.

In Vietnam, mother is the number 1 in every household hierarchy. You can never be able to replace her mothers postion even after marriage. This is their culture. The best gift item for her mother is uncle Ho notes or gold items. Don't bother to buy any other things.

My opinion is never jump into marriage. Give the relationship at least 2 years time to grow and develop. You can see her clearer after 2 years or more. Many relationship cannot last so long. Also learn the Vietnam culture and language which will help you in long run.

The above is my personal opinion.

[Goldenhair]

Thank you very much for ur advice. I sincerely do believe its good advice as it is exactly the same as what my good buddy in VN gave me. I am using this buddy's wife name to open. In return he will be investing 49% of the capital outlay for the resturant. He's a buddy of 20 over years and working in VN for the past 5 yrs. His son and wife is there too. 2nd VN wife as he's a divorcee. He will be watching the resturant for me when I am not around plus my TV really sucks. haha.

Right now I am "buying" experience with this resturant as I have really little cultural experience and biz experience too in HCMC. I am not so concern with the profit making aspect of this venture than I am about her lifestyle. So far so good, she appears to be what I had been told. Marriage plans is definitely on the table. But as you advice, 2-5 years would be a good time to see if we can get used to this living arrangement and to see if our relationship can weather the test of time.

In the first few initial dates, I am very apprehesive and cynical. I doubt she is NOT a WL or a KTV girl as she seems pretty well off. 2 x iphone 5(lost 1 and bought another) and all her perfumes and stuff are all quite branded. I am not a young chap so naturally was wondering where her source of $$ comes from. Was she a KTV overseas before taking a break now? Or maybe she has plenty of sugar daddies maintaining her monthly? These are some of the doubts I had about her during the early dates. After checking it out, then I know it is her elder sister who is maintaining her lifestyle in VN. She is tasked with taking care of the father while the sis remits money home to her monthly.

I am sharing this with all forum readers because I was too cynical after hearing too many sad stories of guys being conned and cheat of time, $ and feelings by VN girls whom they met in Singapore in JC/GL/KTV joints. But now I am happy actually to say, not all VN girls are like that. Give the relationship a try, but watch the $$. SG guys are all born gentlemen. We tend to be condidtioned to pamper women. This is bad actually if we really met a seasoned oversea girl who is out to milk $ from you. We will give in and give in to her demands until we are financially stretched. In short, set a limit. yes, set a $$$ limit. And observe when the girl do NOT get the $$, how she behave towards you. That i feel is the best way to tell what is the girl's true intentions.

Once again thank you Kangtao, Surescore and the rest. I will remeber all your advice and hopefully with time, I can gain more cultural knowledge of the VN people. All your sharing of advice is both an encouragement and valuable info for me. Thank you.

[zion1989]

Just want to share a experience from my relative, he know this girl from a saloon. Which introduce by fren, it was not love at first sight but after several communication. He fell for her, keep doing things for her. Go there spend like king, a week spend about 2k. But the girl keep saying going operation. Which i doubt is true, but my relative does believe despite some doubt. The girl will go MIA when she went hospital, i don understand why. She just said don want him to worry. It happen for a few times already, the girl said family has a rice noodle factory in dongnai. But recently he found out she have several foregin ngoui yeu. It seem, not only WL will do that. "Decent girl" too. =)

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by zion1989

Just want to share a experience from my relative, he know this girl from a saloon. Which introduce by fren, it was not love at first sight but after several communication. He fell for her, keep doing things for her. Go there spend like king, a week spend about 2k. But the girl keep saying going operation. Which i doubt is true, but my relative does believe despite some doubt. The girl will go MIA when she went hospital, i don understand why. She just said don want him to worry. It happen for a few times already, the girl said family has a rice noodle factory in dongnai. But recently he found out she have several foregin ngoui yeu. It seem, not only WL will do that. "Decent girl" too. =)

I consider a girl working in a saloon as WL because clients are men and no ladies. Unless the saloon is purely for girls only.

Alot of us will never know the background or history of any girl unless you have friends knew the girl from young or before. Let me tell you a story there is this girl now a University student at 22yrs old, decent right? Answer no, she works as WL from age 18 yrs old onward and quit last year to go to University and worked in an office.

Still up to any Singaporean to go to Vietnam with eyes open and see for yourself. If any girl will to ask for exorbitant amount of money and play the disappearing act once a while then question marks raised and time to invesigate. If any one of us don't do this then we cannot blame anyone except yourself. Easiest way is to stop giving money or you disappear and see what happened?

Ultimately love is blind but love the right person.

The above is my personal opinion.

[Goldenhair]

Good tip. I always believe giving money to help a girl u love is a must. BUT not excessive. Give within your means and I dont meant using loans or credit cards to give. It is expected for a man to help a girl he loves in VN. However, salon girls i consider them to be WL girls too as many of these salon I used to went to actualy have a few foreigners supporting them monthly. In short...they have more than 1 special men. So do exercise caution.

Right now my main problem is learning to speak and write Tieng Viet. Thinking of hiring a tutor to coach me. Any recommendation?

[jackbl]

Originally Posted by Goldenhair

Right now my main problem is learning to speak and write Tieng Viet. Thinking of hiring a tutor to coach me. Any recommendation?

The best is to learn from the ground......

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by jackbl

The best is to learn from the ground......

Learn from You is the Best

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Goldenhair

Good tip. I always believe giving money to help a girl u love is a must. BUT not excessive. Give within your means and I dont meant using loans or credit cards to give. It is expected for a man to help a girl he loves in VN. However, salon girls i consider them to be WL girls too as many of these salon I used to went to actualy have a few foreigners supporting them monthly. In short...they have more than 1 special men. So do exercise caution.

Right now my main problem is learning to speak and write Tieng Viet. Thinking of hiring a tutor to coach me. Any recommendation?

From all your Posting ... I can sense you are quite on your own n quite independent .. I doubt You dun really need much guidance ...

I strongly believe you knows the way to look for school to learn TV.

[Goldenhair]

Originally Posted by jackbl

The best is to learn from the ground......

hahahaa!!! I LIKE!!!!: now still learning. I find learning it from viet songs easier to learn the prounouciation. haha..will keep learning! (from the ground =P

[Kim91]

Originally Posted by Goldenhair

UPDATE: mama flying in from taiwan this May to check me out.. Apparently the Father likes me. But the one wearing the pants is the Mama!!1 Stress!!! Any gift suggestions for mama?? Stress!!!!...since during the brother's wedding, mama is busy taking of sick elder sister's son in Taiwan. now she's flying in just to check me out...siao liao..

Bro u only know her for few mth n u started to think of wanting waiting to do so much for her. Dun get too involve. Must think the money to involve if u married her. Dad sick, nephew sick...
Anyway just be careful.

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by Kim91

Bro u only know her for few mth n u started to think of wanting waiting to do so much for her. Dun get too involve. Must think the money to involve if u married her. Dad sick, nephew sick...
Anyway just be careful.

This advice is good and must remember.