Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by lambo_tan

Global Integrity - Vietnam Notebook

"The average monthly salary for an experienced doctor at a public hospital is around 1,600,000 dong (US$100). A nurse earns 800,000 dong (US$50) per month."

"The average annual salary in Vietnam is no more than 8 million dong (US$500) per year."


According to this report, how does the average vietnamese worker afford a house which can easily cost USD$100k

Bro, that's the official salary. But often, the unofficial salary is much much higher than the official salary. In Vietnam, no doctor will perform operation on you if you don't give RED PACKET. One red packet is minimum a few million VND. These doctors often also practise outside after office hours. So a bit from here and a bit from there, they easily can earn a few thousand USD a month.

[Honey Boon]

how about the nurses, do they do a bit from here and there?

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, that's the official salary. But often, the unofficial salary is much much higher than the official salary. In Vietnam, no doctor will perform operation on you if you don't give RED PACKET. One red packet is minimum a few million VND. These doctors often also practise outside after office hours. So a bit from here and a bit from there, they easily can earn a few thousand USD a month.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, that's the official salary. But often, the unofficial salary is much much higher than the official salary. In Vietnam, no doctor will perform operation on you if you don't give RED PACKET. One red packet is minimum a few million VND. These doctors often also practise outside after office hours. So a bit from here and a bit from there, they easily can earn a few thousand USD a month.

Thank yo ufor sharing...learn something from you...

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Honey Boon

how about the nurses, do they do a bit from here and there?

Nurses are the same also. They receive RED PACKETs from patients that are warded. They also work in private practise after office hours.

[Honey Boon]

just wonder what kind of "private practise" they offer after office hours

Originally Posted by SingViet

Nurses are the same also. They receive RED PACKETs from patients that are warded. They also work in private practise after office hours.

[AlCIA Duh]

Need help from the VN experts here.

I have been with this VN gal for close to 3 years now. She already have a 1 yr old daughter when I met her. The girl is already 4 yrs old. Been visiting them regularly throughout these 3 yrs, living in their house. Basically we are already a family. I'm not officially married to her by the way.

Here's the problem. The "father" column in little girl's birth cert is blank. Any way to get my name up there?? We did some research on our own and can't seem to find a good way. 1 suggested way was for me to get married in VN and then adopting the gal. Like the bros here, as long as you got the right contacts and money, miracles can happen in VN?? So was wondering if you guys have any lobangs or better suggestions for me to “officially” become the girl’s father.

Why I want to do this is because I’m planning to bring them over to Singapore soon. This brings me to the next question. How does the SG government handle children in my situation?? Where Singaporean men give birth to children overseas (hopefully I can get the paperwork to prove that)?? What are the procedures of bringing them in?? Bro SingViet should be in a similar situation??

Thanks a lot for reading and thanks for any comments in advance!!

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by AlCIA Duh

Need help from the VN experts here.

I have been with this VN gal for close to 3 years now. She already have a 1 yr old daughter when I met her. The girl is already 4 yrs old. Been visiting them regularly throughout these 3 yrs, living in their house. Basically we are already a family. I'm not officially married to her by the way.

Here's the problem. The "father" column in little girl's birth cert is blank. Any way to get my name up there?? We did some research on our own and can't seem to find a good way. 1 suggested way was for me to get married in VN and then adopting the gal. Like the bros here, as long as you got the right contacts and money, miracles can happen in VN?? So was wondering if you guys have any lobangs or better suggestions for me to “officially” become the girl’s father.

Why I want to do this is because I’m planning to bring them over to Singapore soon. This brings me to the next question. How does the SG government handle children in my situation?? Where Singaporean men give birth to children overseas (hopefully I can get the paperwork to prove that)?? What are the procedures of bringing them in?? Bro SingViet should be in a similar situation??

Thanks a lot for reading and thanks for any comments in advance!!

Bro, to get yr name on the gal's birth cert may not be a big problem in Vietnam, but to handle ICA in Singapore is not easy. If the `child' is borned before you and the lady is officially married, Singapore's ICA will not accept that. You have to PROVE that the child is yr off-springs, thus take DNA.

Nowadays in Vietnam, to insert yr name in the child's birth cert when the child is 4 years old now is tough job. It may not be that possible. Best thing to do is to register yr marriage with yr gal in Singapore and after that, officially ADOPT the child. This is a better way than to spend all the unnecessary money on bribing the officers in Vietnam and hitting a big block in Singapore immigration.

By the way, my children are all officially my off-springs...... so my situation is different from yrs

[AlCIA Duh]

Thanks a lot bro!! Knew I could count on for advice.

Originally Posted by SingViet

By the way, my children are all officially my off-springs...... so my situation is different from yrs

When I say similar situation, I mean as in having children oversea and then bring them over to SG. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Hope you can help me answer a few more qns.

From my understanding from following this thread all these time, it would be less troublesome for me to get married in SG and then convert the cert to VN?? How is the conversion process like??

After the adoption process, the child will be officially “mine” and ICA will treat her like my own flesh and blood??

Is there any age limit?? In terms of adopting a child in VN or trying to bring a child into SG?? Is there something like I have a child with a woman oversea, the child is 20 now and I can’t bring him/her in SG to apply for PR and things like that?

Again thanks a lot for sharing your knowledge!! Really appreciate it!!

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by AlCIA Duh

Thanks a lot bro!! Knew I could count on for advice.



When I say similar situation, I mean as in having children oversea and then bring them over to SG. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Hope you can help me answer a few more qns.

From my understanding from following this thread all these time, it would be less troublesome for me to get married in SG and then convert the cert to VN?? How is the conversion process like??

After the adoption process, the child will be officially “mine” and ICA will treat her like my own flesh and blood??

Is there any age limit?? In terms of adopting a child in VN or trying to bring a child into SG?? Is there something like I have a child with a woman oversea, the child is 20 now and I can’t bring him/her in SG to apply for PR and things like that?

Again thanks a lot for sharing your knowledge!! Really appreciate it!!

Its surely much easier to get married in Singapore. You only need to translate yr Singapore marriage certificate into vietnamese at the Vietnamese embassy in Singapore and get it certified. Once certified, you can use it in VN.

After adoption, the child will be deem YOURS and you can apply for PR for him/her, together with yr wife.

Of course, the older the child, the more difficult it will be to adopt. If i am not wrong, once the child turns 18 in VN, u cannot adopt her/him anymore as she/he will be considered adult under vietnamese law

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by AlCIA Duh

So was wondering if you guys have any lobangs or better suggestions for me to “officially” become the girl’s father.

You want to be the father or some other man's child????

[Tony Stark]

Originally Posted by SingViet

By the way, my children are all officially my off-springs......

I like this sentence.

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

You want to be the father or some other man's child????

Depends on individual mah. As for me I'll not accept it. There're many trees in the forest.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by AlCIA Duh

Need help from the VN experts here.

I have been with this VN gal for close to 3 years now.
Why I want to do this is because I’m planning to bring

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

You want to be the father or some other man's child????

At least bro AlCIA Duh knows that his vn gal has a child.

There are incidents where sillypore man dunno that the little child/baby is the child of his galfriend.

1 friend of my vn gal friend in Mekong already had a 3yo child but she tells her sillypore boyfriend that this child is her youngest sister. They are always staging a show whenever this sillypore guy visit her in vn. It is easy for them to stage a show as the little child calls her grandmother "Me" and call her mother by name. All this years, this child stick to the grandmother more as her mother got to work in sillpore. My gal friend say that this is good enuff to cover up the truth from the guy.

Heard that this coming Valentine, this guy will visit her again and bringing $5000 for her family. Other than that, he is always sending alot money to vn to feed her. Now both mother and daughter stopped working and enjoy life in vn (got money also never return to my galfriend after so many years of help).

I think this guy is either blinded by this gal or kana Kong Tao liao. This gal is not pretty at all, she is round short and fat, but she always visit the witch in vn to ask for favour.

How can this young educated sillypore guy not probe into the truth, or find out more about her family before stepping in a relation and provide so much money to this gal.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

I think this guy is either blinded by this gal or kana Kong Tao liao. This gal is not pretty at all, she is round short and fat, but she always visit the witch in vn to ask for favour.

How can this young educated sillypore guy not probe into the truth, or find out more about her family before stepping in a relation and provide so much money to this gal.

Too many singapore guys have either kanna this or is still kanna-ing this now. Like i mentioned earlier in my thread, not all vietnamese ladies are bad, but the singapore man has to be careful as telling lies is very much a part of their daily life. Too many singapore man think with their dick head, once the gal gives a BBBJ or FJ, anything is possible. Things are even more difficult as we are not very well versed in Vietnamese and don't really understand their culture that well. So remember one thing when dealing with VN gals : there's no free fucks... you will pay sooner or later I always prefer to pay and forget.

[lambo_tan]

By BEN STOCKING – Aug 10, 2008

TAN LOC ISLAND, Vietnam (AP) — Nearly 70 young Vietnamese women swept past in groups of five, twirling and posing like fashion models, all competing for the hand of a Taiwanese man who had paid a matchmaking service about $6,000 for the privilege of marrying one of them.

Sporting jeans and a black T-shirt, 20-year-old Le Thi Ngoc Quyen paraded in front of the stranger, hoping he would select her.

"I felt very nervous," she recalled recently as she described the scene. "But he chose me, and I agreed to marry him right away."

Like many women from the Mekong Delta island of Tan Loc, Quyen had concluded that finding a foreign husband was her best route out of poverty. Six years later, she has a beautiful daughter and no regrets.

From the delta in Vietnam's south to small rural towns in the north, a growing number of young Vietnamese women are marrying foreigners, mostly from Taiwan and South Korea. They seek material comfort and, most important, a way to save their parents from destitution in old age, which many Vietnamese consider their greatest duty.

Quyen has not gotten rich — her husband earns a modest living as a construction worker — but the couple have paid off her father's debts.

Young women have become Tan Loc's most lucrative export. Roughly 1,500 village women from the island of 33,000 people have married foreigners in the past decade, leading some to call it Taiwan Island.

Women in Tan Loc and other delta towns began marrying foreigners in the 1990s, when Vietnam opened up economically and many Taiwanese and South Korean firms set up operations in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam's southern business hub.

Poverty and the close proximity of foreign businessmen seem to be major reasons for the trend. The biggest complaints come from women's groups, who consider it demeaning, and from young village men for whom the pool of potential brides is shrinking.

With money from foreign sons-in-law, many residents in Tan Loc have replaced their thatch-roof shacks with brick homes. They have also opened small restaurants and shops, creating jobs in a place where people have traditionally earned pennies a day picking rice and other crops in the blistering sun.

The luckier families received enough to build ponds for fish farming.

Western Union has opened a branch to handle the money sent by newlyweds.

"At least 20 percent of the families on the island have been lifted out of poverty," said Phan An, a university professor who has done extensive research in Tan Loc. "There has been a significant economic impact."

Not all the marriages work out, of course.

Dam Psi Kin Sa went to Taiwan nine years ago, at the age of 20, and married a Taiwanese car wash owner more than twice her age who had been divorced three times. She met him through a matchmaking service.

Five years later, her husband demanded a divorce and locked her out of the house. Even though she had learned his language, Mandarin Chinese, the couple had trouble communicating. "We were angry at each other in a quiet way," she said in Taipei, where she has remained to be close to her daughter.

Over the past year, one Vietnamese bride was beaten to death by her South Korean husband, another jumped out a 14th-story window and a third hanged herself on Valentine's Day, leaving behind a diary full of misery.

"A marriage that is not based on love often brings problems," said Hoang Thi Thanh Ha of the Vietnam Women's Union. "How can you live happily ever after when you met your husband three weeks before the wedding?"

Nevertheless, most young women in Tan Loc seem eager to marry a foreigner. Le Thanh Lang recently went to the town hall to get papers confirming she is single and eligible to marry.

"Any country will do, I'll take anyone who will accept me," she said, waving the papers. "I need to send money to my parents."

Besides the marriage broker's fee, the groom gives about $300 to his bride's family, Lang said. After that, if all goes well, her husband may send up to several thousand dollars a year to her family — depending on what he can afford.

Many Tan Loc families with married daughters abroad have big homes with color TVs, new furniture and karaoke machines.

Their neighbors live in huts.

Tran Thi Sach's concrete home, with four large rooms and shiny green tile floors, is a mansion by island standards.

"Since my daughters got married, I've retired," said Sach, 59, who used to toil in the rice fields with her husband.

"We lived in a shack," she said. "We had to work no matter how hot it was, no matter how much it rained, from 5 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon. Sometimes we could only afford rice porridge."

When her daughter Tho first said she planned to go to a marriage broker, Sach objected. What if her in-laws abused her? Where would she turn for help?

Tho married six years ago, and her younger sister Loi two years later.

"Their husbands are gentle, handsome and hardworking," Sach said. "They are really fine men."

Next door, Nguyen Thi Chin lives in a two-room shack with the roof so leaky that when it rains she must move from spot to spot to avoid getting wet. Each of her seven children married a Vietnamese, all of them poor. At 70, she is still working, pulling mussels from the muck in the Mekong River.

"I could never have a house like that," Chin said, glancing next door. "It's my destiny to be poor. If I had another daughter, I'd ask her to marry a foreigner."

More than 100,000 Vietnamese women have married Taiwanese men over the last 10 years and the numbers are rising, said Gow Wei Chiou of the Taiwan representative office in Hanoi. In the same period, roughly 28,000 Korean men married Vietnamese, according to the Vietnam Women's Union.

As more Taiwanese and Korean women move to cities to work, many men in those countries, especially those from rural areas, face increasing difficulty finding wives, said Chiou.

"Taiwanese women want to get married when they are much older, and they are also very opinionated," said Lin Wen-jui, 39, who met his Vietnamese wife through a Taiwanese friend in Ho Chi Minh City. She has since taken a Taiwanese name, learned Mandarin and opened a restaurant.

The overseas marriage trend has been boosted by online matchmaking services such as the Singapore-based Mr. Cupid, which offers a "comprehensive Vietnamese marriage package" and five-day matchmaking tours. "No one ever came on our trip without finding their dream bride," the site boasts.

In 2002, not long after Quyen went through her paces for her Taiwanese future husband, the Vietnam government outlawed commercial matchmaking services. Vietnamese media were reporting the phenomenon in vivid detail, and authorities said they were concerned that the business could be a cover for trafficking women into prostitution.

"They take hundreds of women at a time to a hotel and line them up for the men," said Nguyen Thi Ngoc Hanh, vice chairwoman of the Ho Chi Minh City Women's Union, a government agency that supports women. "It's very disrespectful."

But although driven underground, the practice continues, abetted by village matchmakers and secluded meetings with suitors.

Half the brides in such marriages are under 21, half the grooms between 40 and 60.

"Sometimes the men ask them to pose naked," Nguyen said "It's inhumane."

Quyen still has vivid memories of going to the matchmaker's house in Ho Chi Minh City, a 120-mile bus ride and a world away from Tan Loc.

"I was scared," she said.

Quyen made the final five. Speaking through an interpreter, the man asked a few simple questions: How many brothers and sisters do you have? How far did you go in school?

They had dinner and Quyen agreed to marry him on the spot.

"My life in Taiwan is good," she said during a visit to Tan Loc. "My husband and his family treat me well."

Life is not so good, however, for the young men in Tan Loc who watch the exodus of marriage-aged women with despair.

"If all the girls leave," said Nguyen Hoang Mong, 19. "there won't be anyone left for us. Marriage shouldn't be about money. It should be about love."

Associated Press writers Vu Tien Hong in Hanoi and Debby Wu in Taipei contributed to this report.

[lambo_tan]

Originally Posted by lambo_tan

Life is not so good, however, for the young men in Tan Loc who watch the exodus of marriage-aged women with despair.

"If all the girls leave," said Nguyen Hoang Mong, 19. "there won't be anyone left for us. Marriage shouldn't be about money. It should be about love."

u'll very bad ..
if i'm born in vietnam, i'll poison your food and piss on your drinks