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I am not trying to point fingers at your wife here, just a case-study example...
Brudders who dabble with Viet wife issues, be aware... the basic Viet thinking is that they should gang up to cheat foreigners...(especially Singaporeans)... I am not saying that Vietnamese are all CHEATS... but there are many saying and generally agreed among themselves that this is the norm... could be because of their history that they have been always bullied by various foreigners (French, Chinese and Americans) and this is their first time in history for the past 30 years still peaceful with no war on their homeground.
So in this case-study, if u dun know ur "wife" too long and too well, she could have collaborated with her sis to "swallow" that sum of money together then later split among themselves.
I have a Singaporean friend, in Vietnam for 15 years already and speaks Vietnamese as well as local, able to read and write perfect Vietnamese with the vowels.. etc. He also fall prey into this sort of thing, with his legally married wife in Vietnam. Until today he still not convinced he has been cheated by his own wife which he has just recently divorced.
So beware....
Basically, when ur Viet wife says buy house/land in Vietnam is good investment.. and convince u to part with ur hard-earned money for a very good investment opportunity, u should think of all kinds of reasons to refuse or delay... nothing good will come out of this... let me explain..
#1 if ur wife is a good wife
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U buy house, buy land, under both ur names... many years later, price appreciates, can sell and both u and ur wife can enjoy the earnings together.. but tat is many years later...
#2 if ur wife is a cheat
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She will use some tears jerking story to tell u that the money has been spent before it was used to buy the land/house because of various reasons.. such as her mother kenna cancer.. father kenna robbed on the way to bank, brother have serious accident and need surgery money, and sister cheated her.. etc.
#3 if ur wife is good now... but some year later she changed
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Maybe run away with another viet bf etc... U will have zero chance to get the land/house/money back! Its vietnam and no one will help u get anything back! She would have ways to pay-off someone and now the title-deed will not have ur name anymore!
So while so many of you thinking urs is a special case #1... well, think again!
bro,i agree with u,btw my wife use her own money earn in singapore working as a sale assistant to buy the small land,i use my saving to borrow her but i bluff her and say that i help her borrow from bank and she must return me every month cos i need to return bank.she keep to her promise and return bit by bit every month.as what u say is truth,i always take some pre cautious when dealing with them but on the same time treat them sincerly as your wife or girlfriend.
If u have chance to go Hanoi.. do this... early in the morning about 0530h, go to Hoan Kiem lake, u will notice that there are a few hundreds old viet ladies and men walking aroung the 2k perimeter of the Hoan Kiem Lake in the Anti-clockwise direction. Then u try walking against their normal direction so that u can see them face to face.... all the old ladies u noticed will be still in their pyjamas... and not wearing bra, with headlamps switched to HIGH BEAM shinning at ur face!!!
bro,i agree with u,btw my wife use her own money earn in singapore working as a sale assistant to buy the small land,i use my saving to borrow her but i bluff her and say that i help her borrow from bank and she must return me every month cos i need to return bank.she keep to her promise and return bit by bit every month.as what u say is truth,i always take some pre cautious when dealing with them but on the same time treat them sincerly as your wife or girlfriend.
u are indeed one of the very few smart Singapore alex that i know of... good for u! I totally agree with u on the part of Treat them sincerely as wife/gf.
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English --> Viet
So far so good --> Cang xa cang tot
u are indeed one of the very few smart Singapore alex that i know of... good for u! I totally agree with u on the part of Treat them sincerely as wife/gf.
bro...so early you contributed so many forums...good that you had came to this thread lately and make your great contributions...
I strongly believed that given time your gf who loves you will be a good wife...provided she can withstood the test of time...so dun jump into relationship, marriage or any commitment fast...give yourself 2 years or more if necessary...
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eh...dun think you she can get work permit for working legally in sinkie...Vn is not in the approved list for this jobs...as waitresses, shop assistants,...unless she is a PR...
PRC gers are approved and earns around 1-1.5k per month.
not necessarily must be PR.
MOM allows for spouse who are married but no LT or PR to apply for work permit so long as the boss are willing to hire them. no dependency ratio or levy at all.
I think if u set the expectation HIGH with ur bride-to-be, then soon u will be convinced that the tradition of Vietnam marriage is 4kg Gold. But if u set the right expectation, then there is no such tradition, or rather u buy what u can afford, no hard and fast rule about that..
In vn, either you give them dowry or pay for the wedding dinner, no need to give both.
give dowry, her family pay for dinner.
as for the gold thingy, its an arcane tradition, not necessary but it can be part of the dowry package.
fully agree,viet girl will put family first even though their family member is wrong.i quote an example.my wife younger sis does not talk to me before and after we marry when i stay at her house during our visit.my wife told me she is not on good term with her younger sis and she also scold my wife before.so i also never ask much.
2 years later,she come back to stay with her mom.she suddenly talk to my wife and like sister relationship.i a bit suspicious and ask my wife why she change,she told me maybe she think differently now and should give her a chance.so i just keep quiet.
few months later,my wife went back cos she want to buy a small land over there.as the document is still processing,she give a huge amount to her sis for her to safeguard and help her process and she came back to sing.
few weeks later,her sis spend that amount and found out by her mom.my wife cry until like no tomorrow.i told her,she should not trust her so much.this is the price to pay for been so good to them and also let them know u have the money.
well, what's new .....
money is a deciding issue in many vn mind.
family can turn on family for the sake of money which is why we have to tune our girl's mind that its not that we do not want them to be fillial but we have be careful.
like bro singvet always say,be a poor son in law is better than letting them know u can afford any things they want.
their house laptop spolit,i give them my old one
their tv spolit,i will only buy akira and the most 22 inch
tell me want to change to flat screen tv from normal bulky type,i will say wait for spolit then buy
when i marry my wife,i always told her that money is hard to earn and is for our future.i bring her take bus or train,eat at hawker,shop at pasar malam to show her that i am not rich but average singaporean who just earn a decent living.
ditto to that ...due to their perception, they always think that we foreignors are loaded and thus demand insatiably.
take my so-call wife in vn, we never got married officially but she's the mum of my only son, I send her @$500 every month for house rental, my child's school fees (not cheap to do pre-school in vn) and monthly allowance.
This is @8m vnd which is enough for the average household.
We have to make a point to them that we are not rich. Whenever something is damaged, I made her scour for the best price available, even though i can pay it off out-right, I tell her to check if installment plans are available.
End of the day, I usually pay outright but not after she does her research.
MOM allows for spouse who are married but no LT or PR to apply for work permit so long as the boss are willing to hire them. no dependency ratio or levy at all.
wrong info bro. MOM policies changed roi, nowadays, foreign spouse of singaporeans who are on LTSVP are not allowed to work . Must be PR before they can work.
take my so-call wife in vn, we never got married officially but she's the mum of my only son, I send her @$500 every month for house rental, my child's school fees (not cheap to do pre-school in vn) and monthly allowance.
take my so-call wife in vn, we never got married officially but she's the mum of my only son, I send her @$500 every month for house rental, my child's school fees (not cheap to do pre-school in vn) and monthly allowance.
I think i have discussed before about this. All these can be discussed. But i remember my wife asked me for some money and i was wondering why need so much for the gold. Then came wedding day, she came out with necklace and braclet that's thick enuff to be ah beng... knn.... and her mother kept the gold after the wedding dinner and sold it off for cash a few days later. Never let your wife buy gold and let her mother keep them. If want gold, buy already, keep it in your own possession.
My mum brougt my wife 4-Dian gold n my wife kept like precious n now asking my mum permission go sold it off to chane into a diamond ring
My MIL also brought 4-Dian gold for my wife during the ceremony using her own money, after wedding, she sold it off n exchange back the cash ...
I strongly believed that given time your gf who loves you will be a good wife...provided she can withstood the test of time...so dun jump into relationship, marriage or any commitment fast...give yourself 2 years or more if necessary...
I agree ... But serious thinking back ... Why all these unnecessary troubles ???
We know their cultures ... We know their habits ... We know they are very family oriented ... We know they need money to support their family n etc ... We know many many about as duscussed in here ... So ... Why commit when we know they are potentially a cheat? Why commit when you will think that they out to cheat you??? Why commit when we have difficulty understanding them? Why commit when you have no time for them ??? Why commit ????
Sometimes when think of it, I also cannot answer this qns
21-05-2011, 11:29 AM
