Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[bernardlee]

Looks like our wifes are sharing the same idiotic symptoms. What is wrong with them? I have done all my parts of a husband and father.

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Well had a show down with oc recently but unfortunately nothing changes everything remains very much the same...told her our marriage is basically just for show...superficially show everyone we are both loving couple but when it comes to our sex life practically dead...she can admit sex is not a priority for her in marriage and she can live without it...she feels if this is so important to me then i should just call time out and find my own happiness with another woman who can provide me with all the sex I want...honestly i feel she is such a selfish creature....she married me just so she can have a status after that everything thrown aside...the option from her is clear, if i want to remain in this marriage then don't expect much for the sex part...if not I can always walk away.....true i very much want to walk away but not at this point...i been through one divorce and what it cost me...further more i am still carrying a few baggage from my previous marriage....i will make sure all these are lay to rest before I plan my next move...but its a ten year plan to unfold....

[bernardlee]

So many bros here are stuck with the same problem. If we ask all the guys to fall in, we can form one battalion.

[5ag1_Boar]

Notti4u, sorry that it did not work for you.

However, for other bros, I still recommend you consider trying it out for a few sessions. Knocking head with your wife is not helping for sure.

Clarification: I have since divorced from my ex that I went counselling with. We divorced because of multiple reasons, not just lack of sexual intimacy. But, before that happened, we went through counselling and it did help change my ex's mindset about sex in a relationship.

[queeniegal]

Gals will feel stress ESP with kids, house chorus and also work stress.

As gal we feel like a salves ha if we are being request and used in many ways. Gals will feel unfair. But point to make is that lots of ladies (wife) does not understand if you don't feed your hubby he sure eat else where.

Guys don't push your wife away by just giving signal u want sex!
Ha..
Show her some affection, like morning give her a kiss on your lips.
Telling her she look great in her office wear. Or in her slping position.

Come back early help out with her on the kids, but not one time then expect your sex life to be spice up.

Tuck in kids on bed early or leave to maid. Do housework together.. After done can tell her how tiring for you. Show her you understand her PAIN!!!

Cuddle on sofa while watching tv programs relaxing.. Don't have to go on further.

Go for stroll..have some talks understand her work stress and u can tell her what u are facing too... Show her your concern your love.

Rekindle your love so will have your sex life back..

Ehh I don't cfm it work.. Just that I think it works afterall ha I'm single and not married so I think if my hubby or Bf does that I sure melt.

Good luck!

[alan2738510]

Originally Posted by alan2738510
Looks like We are All In The Same Boat
Bro,

Both your wife and you must change the mindset.

My wife and me always have a mindset to please the other party. Many always have the attitudes of "I want", "I need", "I want to satisfy" but ignore the other party's feeling. Especially we man will stop immediately after we cum. Female needs more than that, even she has cum, she needs more.

I am 51 this year, we have sex 2 to 3 times every week and she will cum 2 to 3 times in every bonk. But me? the most can cum 2 times and at times none. This is a duty for a husband to please the wife even if I don't cum and therefore she like to make love with me. Even to the extend teasing me to make love while I am sleeping.

I read up more from ang mo's site just wanted to please my wife. She knew, and she is so happy that I did. Check up my thread for reading pleasure or you can go direct to their sites and explore for more.

We are like many of you, need to work, do house works, have kids and many many stuff to take care. Sex cannot be missing from a loving couple unless both of you are physically unable.

*** To Bro Smay

Seems to me you are a good cousella. Recently had a showdown. Just imagine married for 13 yrs, 13 yrs ago issues also brought up................One by one said out all the short coming. I really cannot take this . Right now really suffering in silent. I think one suffer better than the 3 members suffer. Sigh.....

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by bernardlee

Hi Wizrd,

I followed your plan and initiated the discussion with my wife. I believe we guys should always take the lead and not to suffer in silence.

She replied in SMS:

i have no need and think u enjoy more. dont want to get pregnant. feel so tired everyday work and hsework and bb. y must i still spend energy to satisfy u and make myself feel like a slave. sex and hse slave then scully get pregnant again and suffer torment. pls dont only think of yourself.

She win liao loh. Before the kid she never said such things. Yet I am helping her to do house chores and be a faithful husband.

Yes bro...this was expected...

Kick into plan B...see what she says...keep going with the plan all the way to plan D...what have you got to lose bro?

Good luck but you must bite the bullet and keep going...now that she is willing to talk, don't stop there bro...


.

[Wizrd]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Gals will feel stress ESP with kids, house chorus and also work stress.

As gal we feel like a salves ha if we are being request and used in many ways. Gals will feel unfair. But point to make is that lots of ladies (wife) does not understand if you don't feed your hubby he sure eat else where.

Guys don't push your wife away by just giving signal u want sex!
Ha..
Show her some affection, like morning give her a kiss on your lips.
Telling her she look great in her office wear. Or in her slping position.

Come back early help out with her on the kids, but not one time then expect your sex life to be spice up.

Tuck in kids on bed early or leave to maid. Do housework together.. After done can tell her how tiring for you. Show her you understand her PAIN!!!

Cuddle on sofa while watching tv programs relaxing.. Don't have to go on further.

Go for stroll..have some talks understand her work stress and u can tell her what u are facing too... Show her your concern your love.

Rekindle your love so will have your sex life back..

Ehh I don't cfm it work.. Just that I think it works afterall ha I'm single and not married so I think if my hubby or Bf does that I sure melt.

Good luck!

Sorry to say, this won't work...at least not to the level that you think...

Many people have tried...but unless she quits her job and stay home full time...she won't put the hubby as the top priority...many bros will tell you that...some even with stay home wives and they are not getting any...

Let's say 60% of husbands feel this way...then they all try the counselling method or your method...may work for 10-20%...the remaining 40-50% still lan lan...

Just read the SMS reply from bro bernardlee's wife (quoted in my above post)...

it is sad...but it is what it is...

.

[notti4u]

Originally Posted by 5ag1_Boar

Notti4u, sorry that it did not work for you.

However, for other bros, I still recommend you consider trying it out for a few sessions. Knocking head with your wife is not helping for sure.

Clarification: I have since divorced from my ex that I went counselling with. We divorced because of multiple reasons, not just lack of sexual intimacy. But, before that happened, we went through counselling and it did help change my ex's mindset about sex in a relationship.

Its ok.. for my case, it is different as my wife is a stubborn than me and she don't listen to anyone. Well, for the rest of the bros, please do go for counselling as it might help.

For Queeniegal, I just kana scolded crazy by my wife. My maid is back for good and I am back from work early to do the laundry and sweeping the floor before heading my mum place for dinner. My wife called and asked me how come I havent reach my mum hse yet and I told her what I am doing, the first reaction is you are crazy. Well, if I dont do the housework, who is going to do it? she wont do the housework de. At times, I do not really know what woman wants hahaha.....

[queeniegal]

Notti4 :- ehh your wife very fierce hor.

Is there anything u done make her angry before? Or only that day u need to eat dinner at mother house then u went to do housework?

If on daily basis u are doing housework and eating at mother house she shd be used to you being late leh Or just a one time off issues?

Next time do housework on weekend lo..

[bernardlee]

I have tried all these soft approaches, they simply does not work. Wait long long ...

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Gals will feel stress ESP with kids, house chorus and also work stress.

As gal we feel like a salves ha if we are being request and used in many ways. Gals will feel unfair. But point to make is that lots of ladies (wife) does not understand if you don't feed your hubby he sure eat else where.

Guys don't push your wife away by just giving signal u want sex!
Ha..
Show her some affection, like morning give her a kiss on your lips.
Telling her she look great in her office wear. Or in her slping position.

Come back early help out with her on the kids, but not one time then expect your sex life to be spice up.

Tuck in kids on bed early or leave to maid. Do housework together.. After done can tell her how tiring for you. Show her you understand her PAIN!!!

Cuddle on sofa while watching tv programs relaxing.. Don't have to go on further.

Go for stroll..have some talks understand her work stress and u can tell her what u are facing too... Show her your concern your love.

Rekindle your love so will have your sex life back..

Ehh I don't cfm it work.. Just that I think it works afterall ha I'm single and not married so I think if my hubby or Bf does that I sure melt.

Good luck!

[queeniegal]

Bernardlee:- hmm why not quote yr wife by casual talk saying xxx hubby go GL and contracted some illness.. Pass to wife.. So Suay but also can't blame his hubby caused his wife totally rejected him for years and he start eat out once the kenna..

He still love his wife n family lots just that he hv his needs. See yr wife get the hint??

Or go resort holiday just both of u? Like golden palm tree, port Dickson no shopping at all... Ha?

Ehh maybe some expert here can advise u.. Mine just my own thoughts!

Be positive!!!!

[bernardlee]

I am still a bit reluctant to mention about GL and explain to her why lonely men goes to this place. She will most probably feel that I am threatening her. I am in a dilemma of whether to "show hand" since I have nothing to lose, or to keep mum to maintain the harmony of the family. It is not easy. I do not have the balls of steel.

[queeniegal]

Get common close females friend! Talk to her! I always help my buddies (guys) do such things!!!!! Ha

[Shadow_warrior]

I think its quite common in relationships

the passion dies, we break into routine.

From a daily sex routine, to a weekly, then monthly, the bi monthly, etc...

We just have too much on our minds to think of sex with those we have

serious relationships with

Although I dont advocate this, but finding some external release, or self

release has helped me. If its lust its easy to fix.

Its easy to turn bitter when we feel the other person has rejected us. In a

serious relationship, lack of intimacy can mean lack of love, well emotionally it can feel that way, and leading to suspicions.

I remember one ex saying, you mean if I dont have sex with you means I

dont love you? What do you treat me as(FL/WL). She just didnt get it.

We all have choices, paid sex or ONS, because we want love, we go to the one who swore to love us.

[queeniegal]

Guys is use sex to show and reconcile their love whereas Gals like to use words and emotional on it.

Hence, gals no matter wife or gf even normal friends they want attention ha..

Wife or Gf prefer affection, caring, patient and understanding partner then to have a guy just want sex.

BUT guys also can bonk any gal without Love but gals can't let a guy bonk without falling in love with that person.

Sparks and love will die down due to daily issues and stress and duration...
Therefore marriage require lot of understanding, communications, trust and many more (to be fill up by married guys)

If a gal/wife keep talking to you, u might feel irritating but u don't say however your action show gals/wife can feel it.
So when you want sex, they feel you might not even understand her need but just to have your own pleasure of course is a turn off to a gal or wifey.

Ask yourself (guy) how long have you seriously sit down and listen to what your wife whining or complains she said? Or really put your heart to understand her needs? Or did you tell her your stress your problems? What u going thru.. What u facing?

Gals are very sensitive, they don't mind be a listening ear but guys always tend to hide everything but is better to communicate well with each other.

Some wife I know they really not into bedroom stuff but why some before marriage having wonderful time but after marriage things change??

Think thru look back what really went wrong.

Bear with my lousy English! I'm freaking sleep liao night!