Wanted to married a China girl but i am married

[colins]

Originally Posted by leecs

Bro, i know there are many contradictions in what i write. You gotta be in my shoes to know it.

Im sorry.

In your shoes? Try me.

For the last time, tell your story.

[FL Lover]

Originally Posted by leecs

Even if theres no PRC or any girls in my picture, I've already somewhat no faith in this marriage. I've been giving in most of the time & keep my grievances in my heart. Did wana try to have a heart ot heart talk with her. But im afraid it will end up with her saying why dont we get a divorce.

Seems like she care for the dog more than my family gatherings or what not.

Bro, I can understand your situation. BTW, how long have u been married? Did you have a heart to heart talk with your wife? Did you tell her that you really wanted a child of yor own and a family will be completed if you have a child? Secondly, did u ask her whether she still love you as what she had in the past? Also ask yourself. Why did you marry her in the first place? Do you still love and care for her?

Lastly did boh of you go for any marriage counseling? It really helps to make yor marriage works again. THIS IS THE LAST RESORT IF BOTH OF YOU STILL WANT TO KEEP YOR MARRIAGE. But even after you have went for the counseling and the problems still exist, maybe its time to end.

Many bros over here will tell you to hang on to the marriage. As for me, my advise...TRY TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST. But after trying and still fails, by all means... go find your new HAPPINESS.

You are still young.. only 30. In fact I am around yor age. Married too but with kids. I can understand why you feel that way. In fact I was in yor path last time, got KCed by FL to an extent of even dropping everything I had and moved to her country to settle down. I almost did that but thankfully, someone came and pull me back - My WIFE. She cried on the day I told her that I will divorce her. My wife told me one thing that I will always remb for life.... MY PROMISE TO HER WHEN I ASK HER TO MARRY ME THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE WITH HER WHETHER POOR, RICH OR SICK AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED.

TS, I need to emphasis to you that when I mentioned to you to go and find HAPPINESS... MAKE SURE YOU REALLY MARRY A GIRL OF YOR EXPECTATIONS. DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN. NO POINT IN MARRYING YOR PRC JUST BECAUSE SHE IS YOUNG, SWEET AND TREATS YOU WELL. GETTING A WIFE IS DIFF FROM GETTING A GF.

Bro, try all means to change yor marriage life first before ending yor marriage. Every family had their ups and downs. Your friend might have his family problems as well. Only end yor marriage if both of you no longer love each other and after you have tried all means to save the marriage.


It's fate that brings both of you together. Try to treasure what you have presently.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

The approach of this whole episode is so screwed up.
1st he comes in here and blame on his wife
next his dog
then he say envy
then say she always suggest divorce
then he say the prc gal best in the world

Man, the whole world like owe him like that.
Dude, i got 4 wives, many employees and companies and i dun even speak like you.
You shud take a good look at yourself............

[kogi]

Originally Posted by leecs

Even if theres no PRC or any girls in my picture, I've already somewhat no faith in this marriage. I've been giving in most of the time & keep my grievances in my heart. Did wana try to have a heart ot heart talk with her. But im afraid it will end up with her saying why dont we get a divorce.

Seems like she care for the dog more than my family gatherings or what not.

Bro leecs. Be a man, be decisive. If you have gangrene on your foot do you take PRC panadol for months while the rot is spreading to the rest of your body? Or do you go for an operation? Short term pain long term gain. You know what you need to do. Dont forget to transfer your wealth to your parents and siblings before she can grab them in the divorce settlement. As Obi Wan might say, Do not waver once you have made up your mind. Any weakness in resolve will stengthen the opposition.

[Mrxhub]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Dude, i got 4 wives, many employees and companies and i dun even speak like you.
You shud take a good look at yourself............

Wow....bro, care to hire me in your company....hehehe

[mike1304k]

I would just like to say one thing. Marriage is a 2 way thing. Sometimes it is the girl who is at fault. She may have wanted or expected things that the guy could not give and is therefore dis-satisfied and she wants and out. Sometimes, it is because she is no longer in love. It can happen to the guy too. When both parties start to feel this way, that is when they will seek all reasons to divorce. But we must always remember the vows we took when we got married... Do you remember it? Why and how did the feeling go away? Not looking for faults hor... It is easy to find fault or to blame, but just as a reflection of the beginning of the end. Then from there, is this the end you want? She?

Third parties are always a bother. If we find ourselves in a loveless marriage, we will always say "how I wished I met you before my wife and so on". But then the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Is this the case now?

For me, I keep it simple. I used another example in another thread, but I will use yet another example of using brains. I mentioned that I have a minah who is sms'ing me all the time, she is really touchy and is really nice to me. So now the question is what do I do about it? She just sms'ed that she is jobless and her boy boy wants to dump her... My green horny monster goes "Sure makan liao... onsssssss"... but my brains tell me that this is a straight road to hell for me.... If I onsss her, I will lose everything as she is not the simple girl.... So I do not even react. Not even show her that I really care.... Just say "Poor thing... hope things turn out well". this type of thinking sure makes life damn boring. But it keeps the headaches down and the problems in the homefront down too. By avoiding traps, you ensure that you can keep a clear head. If you have a family, treasure it lah.... Don let it go to waste lah... The years and the amount of time you have spent on it is not worth leaving it behind lah...

[sushi88]

Originally Posted by leecs

Even if theres no PRC or any girls in my picture, I've already somewhat no faith in this marriage. I've been giving in most of the time & keep my grievances in my heart. Did wana try to have a heart ot heart talk with her. But im afraid it will end up with her saying why dont we get a divorce.

Seems like she care for the dog more than my family gatherings or what not.

Bro Leecs,

I understand how you feel bcoz I same situation as you 5 years ago and I want to share my humble experience.

I am now mid-30s. My ex-wife (who was my longtime school sweetheart) also do not want children. After marriage, she became a pain and we quarrel almost every day (sometimes neighbour got to call police). My job and life was affected. I was miserable. At that time, I began going to HCs and KTVs, to forget my misery. I met and fell deeply in love with 1 of the most beautiful PRC meimei (not just face n body beauty but character as well) I have met in my life, someone who I thought was send from the Heavely God. I made up my mind to divorce my ex-wife and to marry her. Divorce with my ex-wife came eventually.

After my divorce, many of my closest frens advise me to take my time before marrying my PRC ger fren. I still remember they tell me not to jump from the frying pan to the fire. So I continue my relationship with my PRC ger fren and work very hard in my job so that I can build a really happy family in future. I gave my PRC ger fren money and bought her many expensive gifts. Then 1 year after my divorce, I lost my good paying job. During this time I cannot give my PRC ger fren the gifts and money that she asked for. Soon our relationship became more distance. Then oneday she handed me a bomb ....she just phone me to tell me she is in deeply in love with another man and she wants to end our relationship. She refused to meet me even. I was really heartbroken then and drank heavilly to drown my sorrows

I found out later from sources that the new man my PRC ger fren has was a rich married-Singaporean biz man. He gave her wat I could not give her then.

Now, 3 years later, I have again a good paying job and I am now a happier person. Still not married but have many young SYT ger frens. Glad I listen to my frens advice.

My little advice is if you cannot get along with your marriage, then divorce your wife as a last resort after giving a last try. But DON'T DON"T marry your PRC ger fren immediately should you ever divorce your first wife. Take your time with the PRC ger fren. Test her. No right or wrong answer here. Only time will tell.

Good luck to u Bro.

[DNAdevil]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

You do not marry someone to buy a HBD flat like many young couples do and live to regret it FOREVER!
You do not marry someone cos you wanna have babies
You do not marry someone cos you love her
You do not marry someone cos she's a good fuck

You marry someone cos she's reliable
You marry someone cos she's got integrity
You marry someone cos you know she'll be with you through thick and thin no matter what in sickness & in health or wealth
You marry someone cos you know she will be a good mother and can take care of the family and share your burdens and contribute to the family wealth
Most importantly, you marry someone cos she's also mentally ready to settle down and have a family of her own

very very very nice advice!! love it, btw thanks for the ups...


thanks for the bro who like the post that i posted here even thought its not mine

To leecs, i noe that im not even married dunno how a marriage life is when it turn bad, but frm all the good bros here giving u all the super advices, do give it a try, tink abt how u and ur wife started, y u wanna marry her in the first place? in furture ur life without her u can or not?( remember its life WITHOUT the PRC), really sit down and have a good tok with her, NOE wat she wan and let her NOE wat u wan, when there is a problems there is always a solution, nothing u cant work things put. all the best in which ever way u wanted to take in the end.

[slider_72]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

You marry someone cos she's reliable
You marry someone cos she's got integrity
You marry someone cos you know she'll be with you through thick and thin no matter what in sickness & in health or wealth
You marry someone cos you know she will be a good mother and can take care of the family and share your burdens and contribute to the family wealth
Most importantly, you marry someone cos she's also mentally ready to settle down and have a family of her own

I think this is your best post ever bro. I think in this thread, this post together with the story bro DNAdevil copied are the best read I have had for quite a while.

[slider_72]

Mr leecs, before you go about thinking about this and that, you forgot you made a very fundamental assumption which may put a spanner in the works. You assume that your Fujian KTV girlfriend will agree to marry you. In an earlier post, you mentioned that you asked but she did not answer you. Ever asked yourself why she did not answer your question?

With your wife, have you ever tried to ascertain where the problem lied? Did you and your wife ever had good times together? If you did, what happened and when did it go downhill?

Actually I got a lot more things to say but after reading all your posts, I feel that I would be talking to a blank wall. You are so focused on divorcing your wife and simply coming here to seek validation from the other bros for your own selfish course of action.

You have only mentioned the problems you see in your wife, have you ever considered whether there are issues about you that rubs her the wrong way too? I find it inconceivable that your wife would turn from a loving woman that you married into a monster that you painted her out to be without any good reason. Now I am assuming that she was a loving woman when you married her. If she was already like this when you married her, then I say you went in with your eyes open and don't put the blame on her. Caveat emptor.

If you bothered to read and think about the earlier posts from all the other bros here, you will see a very consistent trend, the opinion is unanimous that you are fantasizing about marrying your PRC girlfriend as a form of escape from your domestic issues. Think about it, it is all a fantasy on your part. She has you so damned entwined around her fingers that she does not even need to pretend agreeing to marry you in order to have you eating out of her hands.

Go home to your wife dude. If you and your PRC girlfriend are truly and really in love with each other, I am sure she will not mind being your mistress. Mind you, that brings about other problems which we can discuss in a separate thread.

[colins]

Originally Posted by slider_72

I think this is your best post ever bro. I think in this thread, this post together with the story bro DNAdevil copied are the best read I have had for quite a while.

I suspect bro DYBJ is just talking about his wives. Although no coincidence that it all happen to all of them, its more like his choice of women is damn bloody clear. Family is the biggest wealth anybody can ever get (beside health la), thats the lesson I learnt.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by Mrxhub

Wow....bro, care to hire me in your company....hehehe

HAHAHAHA wait long long dude....hahahahaha

Originally Posted by DNAdevil

very very very nice advice!! love it, btw thanks for the ups...

No worries dude....keep up the good work and keep on contributing!

Originally Posted by slider_72

I think this is your best post ever bro. I think in this thread, this post together with the story bro DNAdevil copied are the best read I have had for quite a while.

Really ah....hehehe kumxia kumxia

Originally Posted by colins

I suspect bro DYBJ is just talking about his wives. Although no coincidence that it all happen to all of them, its more like his choice of women is damn bloody clear. Family is the biggest wealth anybody can ever get (beside health la), thats the lesson I learnt.

Of cos wat...family is wealth.....
Wats the point if you have all the $$$ in the world and your life is all fucked up
If a woman really loves you, and wants to be wif you, she will be willing to be a mistress....no doubt about it, but if there's more than meets the eye, then she'll say things like...."OK SO WAT U GONNA DO ABOUT THAT WOMAN????"

[colins]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

If a woman really loves you, and wants to be wif you, she will be willing to be a mistress....no doubt about it, but if there's more than meets the eye, then she'll say things like...."OK SO WAT U GONNA DO ABOUT THAT WOMAN????"

For you, it is OK SO WHAT U GONNA DO ABOUT ALL THAT WOMEN AND ALL THAT SINGERS AND ALL THAT BITCHES!!!!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I leave that to our dear Cassanova la
Me now got free ride so will enjoy it hehehehe

[rtcb68]

Hi,
how come my thread become other people thread.
Firstly, i am not divorcing my wife. I do love my wife and family.
But i also love my gf from China. I just cant control myself to love her.
And she do love me also. She knew that i am married and she do not
want anything from me either.
I suppost to meet her family in few month time, she had mention to me
that about our issue on married to her family. and her parent told her
that up to us to decide how we want (her family did not know I am married)
But I think that to be fair to her,I want to give her a customise married.
Do any want know is it safe to ROM in China? Thanks