Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[ah rat]

__________````

[qumpy]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

This guy can predict present day Singapore. Salute!!!

[diputs1269]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
________________________________

Just for Laughs... Enjoy 😂😂

Very true, cheers!

[aprilta]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

No wonder the price difference

[etsys]

My small contribution

[35cents]

[35cents]

[Hurricane88]

A man who knew everything about liquor and little else, was asked by his old Headmaster to be the Chief Guest at his School’s Annual Day.

At the function, he was asked to give an inspiring message to the students.

He spoke :
“Friends.... in life you will face a number of problems. You should face them like 'Napoleon', walk like 'Johnny Walker' and sing like a 'Bagpiper'. Only then, then the world will give you a 'Royal Salute'. Otherwise it will call you an 'Old Monk' and stick a 'Black Label' on you “.

He sat down to a thundering ovation .

Spirited Speaker for Sure !!🥃🍻🍺

[Hurricane88]

*ADULT JOKES FOR THE LOCKED-DOWN*
If you are not an adult or do not appreciate adult jokes, please don't go any further 😁


*Question: Why is the "69" position also called the "smokers' position?"*
_Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray._

*Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation?*
_Answer: Because it's HANDMADE !_

*An old man married a young girl. On the wedding night he showed five fingers to his wife.*
Young girl: Ooh.. Darling! 5 times?
*Old man: No dear, choose which one you prefer to start with.*

*Question: What is the smallest hotel in the world?*
_Answer: It's Vagina Inn. Because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant and 2 pieces of baggage outside!_

*2 prostitutes were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".*
Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!
Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!

*Man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra.*
Chemist said, "It would be useless."
_Man said, "I am 90, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes"._

*Reporter: Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you care to comment on this?*
_Man: The truth is that she has a big mouth!_

*What is the similarity between a swimming pool and a wife?*
_For both, we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them._

*Love is a complicated piece of machinery.*
_Sometimes, all you need is a good screw to fix it._

*What's the difference between biology and sociology?*
_Answer: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology._
_When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology._

*Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" has never seen a pussy before.*

*Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"*
_God said, "Okay" and Poof! Dracula turned into a sanitary pad"._

*What is the speed limit in sex?*
_Answer: 70 - because at 69 you have to turn around._

🤩😎🥳🤪....
STAY SAFE

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Hurricane88]

More morning jokes...

[Hurricane88]

DON'T LAUGH PLEASE!!!

In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves. In Japan, in 30 minutes, it caught 2 thieves. They took it out to
different countries for tests:
U.S.A, in 30 min, it caught 50 thieves;
UK, in 30 min, it caught 20 thieves;
Spain, in 30 min, it caught 25 thieves;
Nigeria, in 10 min, it caught 200 thieves;
Uganda, in 10 min, it caught 500 thieves;
Malaysia, in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.

I told you not to laugh...If you laughed then share this.😂😂😂😂

[Hurricane88]

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God
She asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
Face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her
Teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as
Well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
Another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
Ambulance?"

(You'll love this)

God replied:
" *I didn't recognize you!!!!!"*
😂😂😂😂

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

More morning jokes...

Blind also can see bum.
Laughter best medicines.

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...