Answers to 5 of the toughest questions women ask...

[stephenL]

JUST FOR LAUGH

There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in an issue of Sassy magazine.

The five questions are:

1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answered properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:



1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a - Football
b - Baseball
c - How fat you are.
d - How much prettier she is than you.
e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died.

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:



2 - "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong answers include:

a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?



3 - "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:

a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b - Compared to what?
c - A little extra weight looks good on you.
d - I've seen fatter.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.



4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:

a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.



5 - "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband.
"Why do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."

[RedHotDog]

Bro StephenL ... pardon me for saying but woman now-a-day happen
to be more complicated & difficult to understand them juz skindeep ...

Your answer might works for more simpleton but when you start
dating more educated woman .... ah - ha ... here's the fun part ...

Juz my 2 cents of answer ...

Q1 - "What are you thinking?"

A1:
"About our future in the next xx mth, how i should cherish u
butter & improve our future by maybe upgrading myself ....&
how nice if i could be with you till the end of time ..."

Explanation to A1:
Woman likes us to Plan, Be in Control, Cherish them not juz
now but consistently & A Man 2 be next to them in times of
darkest ...


Q2 - "Do you love me?"

A2:
"Love is not juz been saying out loud , i had to prove it to you.
So tell me watz the best way to prove it to you ... by action
or by words only..."

Explanation to A2:
Now the Action Doesn't have to be "The Action", let them know
that YOU want to DO Somethings for them to Prove To Them
that YOU LOVE THEM & not juz saying it ...,
Tell them that YOU would wana buy her favourate food,
pick her up from work , Watch Korea Soap Show (even if you hate it) with
them ...
Let them HEAR What Kinda Love You;re Giving Them ...
Well ... you could followup with "The Action" after that if
you're butterfly over your words of love ...

Q3 - "Do I look fat?"

A3:
"Dear ... you look juz perfect to me ... Now TOO THIN &
NOT TOO FAT ... You're my Mona Lisa, the perfect picture"

Explanation to A3:
Warning !!! ... Play by Ears ... the above to me is juz right ...

Q4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

A4:
"Dear ... itz your HEART, MIND & SOUL that attached me
to you ... NOT JUZ THE SURFACE SKINDEEP APPREANCE
that i'm looking @ right now ..., Beauty don't last forever
it's your everything that matters to me ... & you're pretty
to me in all angle"

Explanation to A4:
Itz all a mind game to woman ... they're never satisfy
with Yes or No cause they'll start comparing details, nose
hair ears, etc , etc ... Aim for the Kill ... Her Mind & Heart ...
Of course still say yes lah ....

Q5 - "What would you do if I died?"

A5:
For Your sake, I'll be brave to face the future ALONE
with you as the Pillar in My Heart ....
(if got Relative/Pet/etc alive) I'll take good care of so & so
& make sure that they'll get the best attention that i've lost
in you to them ...

Explanation to A5:
"Alone & You're in My Heart ..." will ensure that you'll
not try any funny things when she's "gone" & of course
you'll remember her ... Also all her worries will be taken care
of mah ....

So that's all from my 2cents of Enlightment ...
Hope Bros will Learn & Excel in the Butter Tongue Skill ...

[Sorin^^]

RedHotDog: Bro StephenL ... pardon me for saying but woman now-a-day happen

Wah bro!, what great answers u haf manz, hahaha, maybe next time got gf can impress her with these model answers.Maybe she said she heard it from her ex who is a samster here too.

Cheers

[ricardo]

1 - "What are you thinking?" was think how good u look
2 - "Do you love me?" Yes
3 - "Do I look fat?" No
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?" No
5 - "What would you do if I died?" I will kill myself

now can we go to bed and make passionate love

[peileng]

man... u guyz are nt totally correct lorz... hmmm.. sometimes gerz reali wan u to be truthful wif them.. instead of juz pleasing them wif some 2pid ans to the question tat the ask u... i dunnoe how to explain tat la.. but tat me.. =D

[Big Sexy]

depends on who ask the questions...
with the exception of my wife.....
my answers to a typical girl out there wil be..

Originally Posted by stephenL

1 - "What are you thinking?"
i am thinking how to bed you.

2 - "Do you love me?"
i said i only want to bed you, the love ends after i bed you.

3 - "Do I look fat?"
if you are FAT, i wont even consider bedding you. i will pass you to DNAT.

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
if she is prettier. i would try to bed her after i bedded you. and if you are ugly..i will pack you and sent you to DNAT immediately..

5 - "What would you do if I died?"
Estate duty apart. pls transfer all your property to me.

now if it is the MRs, my answer would be different.

1 - "What are you thinking?"
i am thinking about our grandchildren and how we will be like when we are old.

2 - "Do you love me?"
dont be silly...of course i love you.... more than ever.

3 - "Do I look fat?"
NO. you are not, unless you consider Julia Roberts fat.

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
Does it matter if i am with you? you are the most prettiest
thing that have ever happened to me.

5 - "What would you do if I died?"
dont worry about that....i will make sure i die before you.

[taurus75]

My version of answers to these questions....
Always remain answers that leads to nowhere

The five questions are:

1 - "What are you thinking?"
" Nothing"
2 - "Do you love me?"
" Sometimes"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
"Never"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
"Never notice"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"
"Nothing"

i've been thru this b4... every time i asked gal what they like to eat whenever we go hawker ctr they will reply "chin chai" but when i say "chicken rice" then they will say "very Oily lei"... etc...
response to all question from them..always stay unfocus... coz whatever you answer bound to get u nowhere.....*sigh* women...

[tionggoklan]

Bro, this sort of thing where got say correct answer 1? Then if got, I tell u lah, I can give even better answer than that stupid magazine, if the answer is juz to make her happy:

1 - "What are you thinking?"
Thinking? My mind is always thinking abt u, there is not a single space for anything else.

2 - "Do you love me?"
Love? that would do injustice to my feeling for u cos I not onli love u, but also adore u, worship u!

3 - "Do I look fat?"
Fat? I can't find a single cell on yr body that can forcefully link to that word, so how can u be fat?

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
Who? who r u talking abt? My eyes r clouded by yr beauty n I can't see anything or any1 else.

5 - "What would you do if I died?"
Dunno, cos I will never let u die before me, juz the thought of this is so unbearable that I can never think of it.

Like that answer a sai boh?

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by peileng

man... u guyz are nt totally correct lorz... hmmm.. sometimes gerz reali wan u to be truthful wif them..

Ever heard before the truth hurts?

[sg_boytoy]

Like what Bro taurus75 correctly said, however we answer they're bound to find some retort to our responses, so better to just ask another question back...

1 - "What are you thinking?"
Nothing, why?

2 - "Do you love me?"
Yah, what did you buy?

3 - "Do I look fat?"
As compared to who?

4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
This kind of thing how to answer?

5 - "What would you do if I died?"
How much money do you want?

[Mahalapa]

Originally Posted by stephenL

JUST FOR LAUGH


The five questions are:

1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

"

1 - I'm thinking of getting a surprise present for my marvelous dear dear.
2 - I don't hate u
3 - Of cos you're fat,you're Faithful And Truthful wat
4 - She is prettier but I like u
5 - I will call up the insurance companys & collect the $$$