Sexless Marriage...

[gent]

Originally Posted by InnocentBaby

Well.. have to admit it sometime... As a gal (for me, I mean) When I'm not 'click' with the mood, thn I'm 'hardly' give my best performance. Is not the problem of 'Dun Wan to give', its the problem like... 'U aint making me happy (horny < tats the word i suppose), how am i gonna make u happy too?'
But anyway, tats just my comment. I guess every women do have the feeling of jealousy. For example, when thy find tat ur female colleague calls u (ur house number would be more 'Uhm!') or mayb saw some greeting sms msgs at ur phone? Make thm started to think, doubting... (not on the negative side) just let thm had a thought like > "I do have a Handsome Hubby, for sure alot of women admire him. Should i tied him up b4 other gals get to tie him?" < mayb tis can let thm try to 'tie' u up with the 'Bed KungFu'?

Dear baby,

I do agree with u that "mood" is a very important factor for a woman when it comes to sex. I am sure you will cope well with ur future hubby cos' u understand the importance of intimacy in a marriage.

I think most "sexless" husbands here had tried many ways to reignite the passion with our wives... if our wives don't reciprocate, I guess there is nothing much we can do. We can book a 5 star Hotel for valentine day, with the most relax and cozy atmosphere/environment, it's still useless if she refuse to change her mindset(abt sex). We even travel overseas, imagine sleeping together for 5 days on the same bed, and no sex at all... Are we husband and wife?? I used to get very "depressed" over this issue in the past, but I am slowly getting use to it now. Sometimes, I even feel that I should consult a doctor on this... Am I normal?

[verisio]

I'm considering doing an academic paper on this issue next academic term. This has actually been an issue which I've wondered and read alot about it in the papers. If ever need to, I hope to do a few annonymous interviews with you bros here.

Think about it that it may improve the sexless lifes and dropping birth rates of SG.

SBF is great... learn alot of things which not thought in school and traditional schools of thought.

[spenceryap]

Dear Gent,

I think you still hv it good, my last sex w my wife was 6 months ago, i think. Lost count. I hv more or less given up on my wife and resort to websites like this, HCs and what hv you for sexual gratification. Mistresses, Fl, ONS the whole nine yards....been there done that.

At the end of the day, all men hv to ask yourself, what are you doing with her if there's no Mood, chemistry..what with you..btw the two of you.

For me, she the mother of my children and they need her till 21.

After that its goodbye.

Originally Posted by gent

Dear baby,

I do agree with u that "mood" is a very important factor for a woman when it comes to sex. I am sure you will cope well with ur future hubby cos' u understand the importance of intimacy in a marriage.

I think most "sexless" husbands here had tried many ways to reignite the passion with our wives... if our wives don't reciprocate, I guess there is nothing much we can do. We can book a 5 star Hotel for valentine day, with the most relax and cozy atmosphere/environment, it's still useless if she refuse to change her mindset(abt sex). We even travel overseas, imagine sleeping together for 5 days on the same bed, and no sex at all... Are we husband and wife?? I used to get very "depressed" over this issue in the past, but I am slowly getting use to it now. Sometimes, I even feel that I should consult a doctor on this... Am I normal?

[vanderful]

Hi guys, read all the comments and can only say I understand how you guys feel. Well my last marriage ended up in a divorce even before she started having babies!!! She went crazy about sports and started having hormonal changes and our sex life just died. I believe it has also got to do with her conservative upbringing. She thinks doggie is dirty and is not willing to try various positions. I really feel stressed having sex with her. I think both of us did. I am rated one of the best guys with my previous sex partners but I can even heat my ex-wife up. Talk about deflated egos.

My guess with the situation our fellow bros are facing is that many of the gals that fall into the current age group (late 20s to late 30s) are brought up in conservative environment that frown upon sex. They dun have many sex partners or perhaps the hubby is the only sex partner they ever had. It is strange I dont find such problems prevailent with gals in the foreign countries. So is this just a Singapore thing?

I was lucky to have met a wonderful gal at a bar in a foreign country 2 years ago. I had a ONS with her and we have been living together since, and are getting married next month. We are both sexually active, sexually experienced and view sex as important part of our intimacy. There's nothing to hide about it. She is a wild thing and I am wild too so this fits us best. We have sex on average everyday cos I can orgasm without ejaculating. Sex is wonderful for us and we love each other very much.

I wish guys who are not yet married test out yr gf thoroughly or communicate with her before you sign the papers. For guys who already have kids, perhaps communications, time out for the 2 of you, mood creation for her and if needed, counselling could help solve the problem. Try not to resort to paid sex if possible cos its difficult to know when to stop.

[verisio]

Originally Posted by spenceryap

Dear Gent,

I think you still hv it good, my last sex w my wife was 6 months ago, i think. Lost count. I hv more or less given up on my wife and resort to websites like this, HCs and what hv you for sexual gratification. Mistresses, Fl, ONS the whole nine yards....been there done that.

At the end of the day, all men hv to ask yourself, what are you doing with her if there's no Mood, chemistry..what with you..btw the two of you.

For me, she the mother of my children and they need her till 21.

After that its goodbye.

Aiyoh... how come so many marriages have such a high tendency to end up like this... No wonder less & less pple want to get married and tie the knot.

All the best in all your search for love, sex and companionship with that special one

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by gent

I used to get very "depressed" over this issue in the past, but I am slowly getting use to it now. Sometimes, I even feel that I should consult a doctor on this... Am I normal?

Bro I cannot agree with you more, it got me to the point when i started to question my myself, is there something wrong with me, am i not good enuf for her etc, all the doubts started setting in...

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by spenceryap

At the end of the day, all men hv to ask yourself, what are you doing with her if there's no Mood, chemistry..what with you..btw the two of you.

For me, she the mother of my children and they need her till 21.

After that its goodbye.

I am contemplating a divorce, you are right what is the point of being husband and wife if there is really no chemistry, of costhose so call moralist sitting on their high horse will accuse us of only treating our wives like a sex slave...of only wanting them to sextisfied our needs..but been in the boat ourselves, we know it is more then that...

[plain]

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?

Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?

show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often.

you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.

[gent]

Originally Posted by plain

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?

Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?

show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often.

you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.

Dear plain,

I think u are right as in we need to be more patient(with our wives) and hopefully our sexlife will return to normal "gradually". Yes, I strongly agree with u that women need attentions and by "wooing" them again(like during courtship) will most probably grind out some "sparks". But remember this, once there is a kid, our wives will focus 100% or even more on the kid. We can make plenty of arrangement(Overseas trip, valentines day celebration, Anniver day, birthdays etc). The first question our wives will ask is "how abt our kid?". The truth is they will want to bring along the kid if going overseas, for dinner on our birthdays etc etc...

I am sorry if I offended any women with my comments... All these is purely my frustration and in fact after I "off-loaded" all my frustration here, I feel much better.

[Ayoshi Nakamura]

I guess it happens to almost every guy here. But at the end of the day we have to continue to love the woman we married. Sex or no sex life goes on *sign

[InnocentBaby]

Originally Posted by gent

Dear plain,

I think u are right as in we need to be more patient(with our wives) and hopefully our sexlife will return to normal "gradually". Yes, I strongly agree with u that women need attentions and by "wooing" them again(like during courtship) will most probably grind out some "sparks". But remember this, once there is a kid, our wives will focus 100% or even more on the kid. We can make plenty of arrangement(Overseas trip, valentines day celebration, Anniver day, birthdays etc). The first question our wives will ask is "how abt our kid?". The truth is they will want to bring along the kid if going overseas, for dinner on our birthdays etc etc...

I am sorry if I offended any women with my comments... All these is purely my frustration and in fact after I "off-loaded" all my frustration here, I feel much better.

Dear gent,
I'm not sure about tat. But as in KL, i guess most of the husband n wife do work even after thy had a kid in family. Some of wat i heard, thy send thier kids to live with thier parent > well, i guess tis do help thm to continue the intimancy relationship between husband n wife too...

[Kongsamiya]

Originally Posted by verisio

Bros...

I'm in my mid twenties and I really enjoy reading all your posts and coming to Sammyboy to see more though I have not touched pros and all those funky stuff. I'm still a conservative one at heart but pcc regularly and really enjoy all your contributions which make me learn more about the outside world.

I've had gfs, most are quite ordinary... None too super horny like some of our lucky bros here. Currently single and chasing a serious girl as gf. I'm coming out of uni soon and hope to settle down with a serious gf.

But as I read this particular thread... I'm horrified. Super horrified. I'm scared... I know I'm damn horny. I need to release almost every alternate day to get the tension out. I'm worried for the future if i ever marry a girl and the situation becoems so bleak like what MOST bros describe here. It's making me think twice about getting a wife. I've thought also about getting a serious sex buddy for the fucking reasons minus the commitments.

I can see alot of bros here actually love their wives but due to lack of sex... they just have to 'outsource' it. Really, that's sad, but I can understand it though I've not experience it. I just cannot bear the thought of stopping my pcc routine.

I wish you bros all the best in your search for sex in your marriages... kekeke

Ha Ha..

Time is on your side.. Start doing your test drive first.. Find the most Hornist piossible partner you can and do a 10% discount on performance every year after marriage.. and you will roughly know the result when in your 40s....

[Kongsamiya]

Originally Posted by plain

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?

Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?

show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often.

you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.

Its True what you said, especially if wife is also working..
Sex was once very important in my first 2 years of marriage but we only do it 2 time a month - real good sex until our first child was born. We stopped all activities for 1 year and after that once in every 6 month. Our second child arrived after 5 year later and all sexual stopped for the next 3 years. Was very frastrated thinking what happened. Only I fully understand and appreciate her when I was Jobless for 1 year and stay at home to be a homemaker. The amount of energy and patenice you need for the kids and furthermore, she is also working. We are happily married for the last 15 years and to be very frank we had sex less than 100 times and now even worst as I am now working in Dubai and my family is still in Sillypore and I only goes back twice a year. I do really missed my dearly wife and kids..

So Bro out there, please be patience with your wife, sex doesn't means everything to your marriage, loved and be loved is the most valuable treasure for the family.. anyway, by time we are lau kok kok.. she will still be at your side...

[Kilograms]

Gee....din know of so much bros here facing such unfortunate situation.Tot it was me who's facing it alone. After reading all this post, i feel less depress as there are other members here.

Was wondering, CNY is around the corner, i'll be facing my wife at least 6 days, how to past time without having sex? Wrap an Red PAcket on my dick & surprise her?

[boobers]

Probably the best way now is to ask our female members to spread words to their friends about this site so that they know about our pressure inside...