I Yearn To Return To Vietnam

[Tomahawk]

Originally Posted by MrDevil

Even if you need to return frequently, you don't need to tie yourself down too fast, too early. Just enjoy the sweetness of the moment, there could be plenty more SYT coming your way. And it is never bcos of luck or fate. If you explore further long enough, you will start to understand why and how you could get lucky or fated to meet one every other night.

Yes, brother MrDevil. From Lan's episode, I realise this myself too. I too had been naive in thinking that for once in my life, I got lucky and managed to bed a SYT. Only after this sad episode did I realise that we Singaporeans are potential sugar daddies to girls in poorer countries. No wonder I looked so attractive.

Which also means to say that now, though I am richer and stronger in experience, I'm also very sad. So, I am not that genuinely attractive after all. How could I have compared myself with brother hardon and Dhornyboy, who were genuinely lucky in love? Sigh... 赖蛤蚂想吃天鹅肉!

[longwinter]

Morning Tomahawk brother wah so early wake up ah?

haha is glad tat u hav sort out ur things and able to act rationally in the situation wif LAN.

[longwinter]

Originally Posted by Tomahawk

Yes, brother MrDevil. From Lan's episode, I realise this myself too. I too had been naive in thinking that for once in my life, I got lucky and managed to bed a SYT. Only after this sad episode did I realise that we Singaporeans are potential sugar daddies to girls in poorer countries. No wonder I looked so attractive.

Which also means to say that now, though I am richer and stronger in experience, I'm also very sad. So, I am not that genuinely attractive after all. How could I have compared myself with brother hardon and Dhornyboy, who were genuinely lucky in love? Sigh... 赖蛤蚂想吃天鹅肉!

But Tomahawk brother, u do hav ur own attractive points. This kind of thing cannot compare de. Some guys jus hav the luck, while some guys dun have..It is like sum ppl are born wif a spoon in their mouth, while others have to slog out their guts to work and work throughout their life.

We jus ought to be contented wif the things we had. Any good things tat come, we treat it as a bonus.

[Tomahawk]

Thanks lah, brother longwinter. You may be young but you talk sense. You are much wiser than some kids out there (no particular reference to anybody in this board!). I will tread carefully in future.

By the way, you're early too. I come to office very early everyday... thanks to the "garment" for their very thoughtful ERP initiatives. Ok, time for my daily dose of Tiếng Việt!

[colins]

Hi bro Tomahawk, I've been following your real life story feeling much emotion stirring within me as well. I guess you are a very sensitive man who look for emotional bonding with a clear definition of roles in relationship. In a foreign country where our definition of stereotypes doesnt match that in singapore, we tend to suffer the short end when what we expect is not what we get. Maybe on the surface, it does, but under the 'water', there is much difference created by our cultures and values. That is why we always get nasty surprises what our girl friends behaves very differently from our expectations. Its like groping in the dark, sometimes we lose ourselves when we grab the elephant's tail and insist that it looks like a snake, we lose ourselves because it strike at our confidence.

Dun believe that you're a lesser person because Lan treated you this way. Lan is just another girl working on keeping herself afloat in the streets of HCMC. In HCMC, where you've too seen their lives, this is how young girls make a living, even if her character is different from her crowd, it still means that she need to behave like them. She din grow up in singapore, how can we expect her to share the values we have?

Personally, I do think she likes you, possibly even more. While you may not have any commitment to offer, she have to balance you and her survival, which is why she acted so unpredictable when you're away, and totally comfortable when you're there on your second trip. Reading into your text, there have been many chances for her to display true colours, I think she came out well in those circumstances, and that is possibly why you tend to trust her.

Maybe she is good, maybe she cheated, but brother, its all to do with our lives and backgrounds. We think differently, our priorities are different and our needs are definitely different. So dun expect same outcome, in fact, expect a lot of confusion between what you perceived and seen.

I've been in many relationships while i was in china, some good some ok but I realised I attracted almost the same type of women. They wanted the same thing from me, not money, but time. What was your stereotypical role for Lan when she met you? I already think its amazing she din treated you the way she did. She din want money from you, she was confused and quiet, she showed you how she hooks up a guy. It shows a lot what's on her mind.

I hope you come of this experience learned and strong. I'm sure there are a lot of memories and plentiful emotions, moving on means enjoying the memories and looking forward to more of those. I'm sure you'll get much better when something else distracts you!

Thanks for reading this longwinded post. Hope it helps.

[blue_swatch]

Post more. This is one thread that I actually follow very closely. Updates will be good if there are any after what you posted halfway

[haha_123]

Hi Bro Tomahawk, CONGRATULATIONS TO U!!!! U have finally woken up!!!!

When Lan was openly flirting with the 2 Ang Mos at Bar Stop, and then went back to hotel with the younger Ang Mo, leaving u behind at the Bar Stop without saying good-bye, I already sensed that something is not quite right with this girl. If I were u, I would not want to see this girl anymore!!!!

Anyway, you have finally realized that you are just a sugar-daddy to her. Besides you, I'm sure that Lan have many more other sugar-daddies. So why should you risk your family happiness, in order to satisfy her material needs? If you are just looking for a good-time with an 18 year old syt, there are plenty of them at Geylang. Notice that if you have the $$$, all the girls will call you 'shuai-ge', even if you happen to look like a toad. Just bonk, with no strings attached, so that you won't get hurt emotionally.

Just to share with you. I have a friend that frequents China for business. He has many gfs in places like Chongqing, Shenzhen, Shanghai, etc. All the girls knew right from the beginning that he is married, but because they are either single or divorced, they are very willing to accompany my friend whenever he travels to China. So my friend gets company, and bonks of course, and he reciprocates by paying for the girls' meals and shopping. It is a win-win situation for both parties with no strings attached.

Bro Tomahawk, I'm glad that you have emerged stronger from this episode. And bcos of you, many brothers out there can learn from your experience and not fall into the same trap as you did. Thank you, brother.

[Tomahawk]

I got up from the chair and ambled towards the door. Opening it revealed a girl all decked-up for party. From the fleeting glance of Lan I had before I turned and walked away indifferently, I could see she had taken some time to dress up.

Lan: Sorry...
Me: You said you'd take 15 minutes. But you took 2 hours!
Lan: Sorry...
Me: I came to Saigon to look for you, but you always make me wait and wait...
Lan: I'm sorry, okay? *holding me by the arm*

I turned to face Lan. Inspecting her more closely now, I could see that she had put in quite a bit of effort in dolling herself up. She was in a white flowing dress with black polka dots, with a neckline low enough to show some cleavage. As I looked more closely I could see part of her bra. Her eyes wore silver eyeshadow and were sprinkled with a dose of gliterring powder. Her cheeks had a tinge of red and her lips were encased in lip gloss. Lan looked lovely. I clutched her and tried to smooch her, but she stopped me. She did not want her makeup to be ruined. I then gently pushed Lan onto the bed, quite taking her by surprise. I had almost wanted to ravage her there and then. Again she stopped me. I got back onto my feet.

Me: Lan, you look very beautiful tonight.
Lan: *smile*
Me: OK, wait for me. I get ready.

Still in my singlet, shorts and slippers, I made my way to the washroom. As I took my time to wash up, Lan hurried me. "Quick!" she commanded. I was irritated.

Me: You make me wait 2 hours for you. Now you cannot even wait 10 minutes!
Lan: Okay, okay...

I was done. I put on a polo-tee and black pants and wore my shoes in double-quick time. I couldn't wait to go dancing with this girl. As I had mentioned earlier, being overseas was one of the few times during which I could let my hair down. We waited for the lift that seemed to take forever to arrive. In the lift, under the dim fluorescent lights I scanned Lan again. This was the first time I had seen her really dressed up. Earlier in the day I had requested her to put on the red and white striped outfit that she had been in when I met her in Apocalypse Now two months back, but she had refused. "No! Not nice!" she had protested. I had been disappointed, but now she looked so beautiful.

The lift arrived on the Ground floor. One thing I noticed in Vietnam is that the floor numbers always start from G, or Ground, not 1 like in Singapore. We made our way down a small flight of steps. Lan handed the key over to the Front Desk guy as the security guard, who had made himself comfortable on the sofa, looked on. I wondered what must have been going on in his mind. I figured that people like him working for the lesser hotels must have had a different mindset from those employed by the big hotels. I was thankful to be here. Holding my hand, Lan led me out of the hotel. This alley off Bui Vien Street was one of the lesser roads. It was almost absent of traffic, so we had little difficulty navigating our way around. Once again I realised how nice it was to walk down a street in Saigon with a loved one in tow, oblivious to the people around us. As I walked down the quiet road, "showing off" to myself my new girlfriend, I wondered how long this relationship would last. Wasn't it a little too cruel to mislead this girl? She had introduced her mum to me and now she was going to show me to her colleagues. Lan broke the silence. She pointed to a signboard above a shop ahead of us.

Lan: Restaurant. Me working restaurant.
Me: Which one? *looking around*
Lan: That one. *point again*
Me: Oh, I see... So that's your restaurant.

We arrived at the Quynh Noodle Restaurant. This is one of the small eateries in the Pham Ngu Lao area. According to Lan, this place specialised in Vietnamese food but it did have some Singaporean food too. Indeed the Singaporean fare seemed popular with diners. Quynh was a simple restaurant. Nothing fanciful like Swensen's or even Jack's Place. It was a small outlet with two parallel rows of tables. Though it was simple in layout, it did not lack amenities. I was surprised to find laptops sitting on some of the tables. "Internet," Lan explained helpfully. I went "Wow!" This was a developing country's way of providing technology even at small restaurants. Not quite as presentable as what restaurants and cafes in Singapore do, with dedicated Internet corners, but good enough. Lan motioned us to sit at one of the e-enabled tables, but I preferred an empty one.

As Lan made small talk with her colleagues I scanned the menu. Though the entries were in Vietnamese I was glad they were accompanied by simple English translations.

Lan: What you want to eat?
Me: Wait, let me have a look.
Lan: I order for you this. *pointing to fried noodles with shrimp and squid*
Me: OK. I also want coffee. You know, Vietnamese drip coffee. Where is it?
Lan: *she pointed to one particular entry in the coffee section, Ca Phe Sua Nong*
Me: *trying to prounce it* Car-feh-swa...
Lan: Car-feh-ser-nong.
Me: Car-feh-ser-nong. I see... *beaming to myself*

After Lan put in our orders, she sat back and relaxed. I placed my hand on her lap, evoking a smile on her pretty face. I could see that some of the waitresses at the outlet were looking at me. I cheekily snapped a picture of Lan with my camera phone.

Me: Lan, you said you would cook for me?
Lan: No, me later go dancing. *pointing to her clothes and makeup*
Me: So I don't have a chance to try your cooking?

Lan gave me a smile, got up and disappeared into the kitchen. A minute later she was back.

Me: Huh? Not cooking?
Lan: I talking to boss I cook. But boss say, no, you go dancing, you go out and wait. *showing the shoo-shoo action with her hands*

And so we waited for our food. It didn't take long to arrive, and when it did, I could smell the heavenly aroma emanating from what looked like home-cooked food. Lan had made me wait a full two hours earlier, so I hungrily wolfed everything down. I helped Lan remove the stubbon lid from a small bottle of Thai chilli. Singapoeans love chilli and I had a big dose of that to go along with my noodles, helping Lan with that too along the way. What Lan had ordered for me wasn't quite enough to satisfy my huge appetite, so I was thankful that she offered me a portion of her own food, which she thought was too big for her. Afterwards, I played around with the drip coffee fixture. For the uninitiated, Vietnamese coffee is prepared by allowing hot water to seep through ground coffee powder placed in a little pot, which is in turn placed above a cup containing sweetended condensed milk. This outlet also provided hot water in a little cup for those who prefers something a little more diluted. I noticed that the cup and lid weren't exactly very clean, new and "professional", hardly what you'd find even in a food court in Singapore. What I had looked more like what you'd find at grandma's house. I enjoyed the heavenly drink anyway.

Me: Lan, who is your boss?
Lan: ... *she didn't understand what I was asking*
Me: I mean, your boss. Which one? *looking around*

Lan pointed to me a particular lady in white, who smiled to me. I reciprocated. I spent the next few moments showing her the list of things I had ordered at a Vietnamese restaurant in Singapore a week earlier. Lan recognised the names instantly. Soon it was time to go. The smoke billowing from the kitchen was greasy and was starting to affect our senses. As I settled the bill I was surprised to find that my food had cost about S$4, about the same price as what you'd pay in a Singpore coffeeshop. I had expected something a little lower but perhaps this was because we were in a restaurant. Lan and I were soon waiting at a street corner for a cab. In a matter of minutes the couple arrived at Apocalypse Now. This was my third time patronising this nightspot.

The crowd on this Sunday night was decent. Lan excitedly made her way towards the dance floor. She had told me earlier that she had asked her "sisters" to come along so that I could meet them. Following a short survey of the crowd, Lan gave a scream and walked very briskly towards a table. I intentionally stopped in my tracks and hid behind a pillar. In a few seconds I could see a worried Lan come running back, looking for her missing boyfriend. She found me and I gave a cheeky smile. "I shy!" She smiled back, uttered a "No shy!" and pulled me towards her friends.

[Tomahawk]

I arrived at the table to find two women standing around. They had been expecting me. Lan wasted no time in introducing her "sisters".

Lan: My "sisters". Judy, Lan. *pointing to the two women, one after the other*
Me: Lan? Same name?
Lan: Yes, Lan. Same same me.
Me: Chao em!
Lan: John *pointing to me*

I exchanged handshakes with the ladies. Next I was alerted to the presence of a Caucasian standing beside Judy. I had not noticed him earlier. He turned out to be Marc, a Frenchman and Judy's boyfriend. He looked like he was in his 40s, at most 50. Lan and Judy were probably in their late 30s. I offered Marc a handshake.

Me: Hello Marc, this is John. Nice to meet you.
Marc: Nice to meet you, John.

The few of us made small talk. As with other people I had met on my earlier trip, Judy and Lan were excited to know that I had hailed from Singapore. I tried to pepper our conversation with some Vietnamese phrases. "Toi khong phai la nguoi Viet, nhung toi noi mot it Tieng Viet!" Lan gave a smile. The ladies adjourned to the washroom. Till this day, I fail to understand why girls have to make a it a point to pee together. I was alone with Marc.

Me: So, Marc, how long have you been with Judy?
Marc: About 8 months.
Me: 8 months! Wow, that's a long time.
Marc: Yeah. *smile*
Me: Do you work here? You're working in Saigon?
Marc: Um hmm. *nod* At the end of the year, I will move to Da Nang.
Me: I see. And you'll be bringing Judy with you?
Marc: Yes, that's right!

Here was one man dedicated to his Vietnamese girlfriend. Unfortunately Lan wouldn't have this luck. There was silence for a few moments. Marc broke the ice.

Marc: How long have you been with Lan?
Me: Oh, 2 months. I met her here.
Marc: Here, at this place?
Me: Yes. I came here for a dance when I visited in September and got to know Lan.
Marc: Lan is a nice girl.
Me: Yes, I think so too. *inside me, I wasn't quite sure if this was true*
Marc: You know, Lan is always with her sisters (Judy and Lan). She doesn't hook up the guys.
Me: Hmmm...
Marc: Yes. You know, other girls talk and dance with other men. But Lan is always with her two sisters.

For a brief moment, I pondered about what Marc had told me. He made Lan out to be a virtuous girl, one who wasn't a sui bian de nu: ren. However, I did know from my own experience that Lan did do something funny at the bar, right under my nose. The memories of what happened in Bar Stop two months back were still fresh in my mind. Maybe she was a different animal during group outings. I quizzed Marc further.

Me: How long have you known Lan?
Marc: How long have I known Lan? Hmmm... let me see. Maybe 2 months?
Me: 2 months...
Marc: Yes. Lan came to Saigon about 6 months ago, but only 2 months ago, she started to join Judy, her sister Lan and me on these outings.

I remembered that during my last meeting with Lan and Lien at Highlands Coffee on my day of departure, Lien had explained that Lan had arrived only a month earlier, but she had started working at Bar Stop the week before. Given that two months had passed since I last met them, that would have meant that Lan had arrived 3 months earlier. But here, Marc had told me that Lan had been in Saigon a full 6 months before. Lan had been lying to me. The girls returned to the table.

I watched as Lan, ever the playful little princess, danced energetically. She was a fun-loving girl. She had a lot of fun with her two sisters, while Marc and I watched. Too much fun, in fact. She was so engrossed in talking and joking with her friends that she neglected me. While the other couples danced together, Lan and I were seperated for most of the duration of this outing. I did make the effort to join her at times, but soon I realised my efforts were in vain as she only had her sisters in mind. I took a seat.

Lan continued with her dance alone. While she did not engage in intimate actions with guys on this outing like what she had done in Bar Stop previously, her neglect for me made me somewhat upset. In any normal relationship, there has to be care and concern for each other on the part of both parties. You don't stick with your sisters all night and leave your boyfriend aside. For all the intimate things that Lan did with guys, she had much to learn about proper boy-girl relationships.

"Marc!" Lan exclaimed as she called out across the table, waving to him as a wide grin formed on his face. I turned around to see Marc returning the smile. Yes, Lan and Marc had known each other for some time and I certainly did not suspect that they had anything more than friendship between them. Still, seeing my girlfriend calling out to another guy while ignoring her own boyfriend did not amuse me.

Lan got me to buy a Corona for Marc. He had treated her to drinks numerous times in the past, and she wanted to return the favour, she explained. I had no problems with that. Sometimes I felt how fortunate one was to be a girl. You have long lines of guys waiting to pamper you and pay for everything you desired to get. No wonder Lan could get by and engage in frequent outings on her meagre waitress pay!

As the night wore on, a tall Caucasian came by and befriended the older Lan, who was by now drinking with all of us by the table. With a wave of his hand, he signalled for her to join him on the dance floor, and she obliged.

Me: Wow...
Lan: Yes. She many many boyfriends.
Me: Huh? Many boyfriends?
Lan: Yes, before, she marry. But now, finished. Now she many many boyfriend. She like money.

Mr Tall Guy became quickly acquainted with Sister Lan. It was another sad case of a local girl picking and being picked up a rich foreigner. As they danced, the guy's moves got bolder by the minute. His hands were soon on her waist. The rest of us joined them on the dance floor.

Lan, the ever-friendly young girl, smiled as she displayed her superb moves. As she faced Mr Tall Guy, he took the opportunity to engage in subtle flirt with her. He pushed her gently on her shoulder and as he did, I thought I saw a cunning grin on his face. Lan reciprocated by pushing him back. I did not feel like staying any longer.

I left the scene and took a long stroll outside. I remembered that there was a stall by the side hawking grilled sausages. For a moment I wondered if I should get something to eat. I decided against that eventually. I bought myself a Corona (80,000 Dong, very expensive!) and rejoined the group. As Lan and her friends danced, oblivious to my presence, I took the opportunity to check out the crowd. Earlier in the night, Lan had indicated to me that if I fancied any babe, I could let her know and she would hook me up with her (Yah right!). I motioned to Lan to check out a girl in revealing attire. "You want?" she asked. I gave her a quirky smile. "Yes!" "Okay, I talk her you like her." I stopped her in her tracks.

Soon it was time to leave. I was glad that my singlehood was over. More importantly, I was looking forward to finishing some unfinished business in the hotel.

[blue_swatch]

Getting more exciting. i cant wait for the ending and see how it goes. Anyway glad you have put the episode behind you and moved on my friend.

Thanks for sharing once again, till the next installment

[Tomahawk]

Originally Posted by blue_swatch

Getting more exciting. i cant wait for the ending and see how it goes. Anyway glad you have put the episode behind you and moved on my friend.

Thanks for sharing once again, till the next installment

You don't know how much time I'm spending composing each episode! My boss would kill me if he knew how I was spending my precious time in office doing this! And I just spotted a few mistakes in the last instalment... Sigh. This is one of them:

"Marc!" Lan exclaimed as she called out across the table, waving to him as a wide grin formed on HER face.

Just thought I'd highlight this so you could appreciate the severity of the situation.

[sniper79]

Yo Bro Tomohawk,

Your story reflect how many lonely and innocent man got "cheated" in Vietnam. I, myself was one of them. And luckly i woke up early.

In Vietnam, just enjoy yourself, have fun and don't leave any feeling behind.
And most importantly dont cheat on innocent heart...hahah lol

All right got to end here, going to Vietnam in 5 hours time....

Regards,
Monthly Vietnam Snipper.

[papillon30]

The fundamental problem is looking for love in the wrong places.

[blue_swatch]

Thanks megarapier for your sharing. Very good insight on wat to do in a foreign land looking for fun And yes Private Dancer is a very good read.

Sorry to TS for the last minute arrangement and thus can't meet you for lunch today. Also if you want the book let me know. I can give you the link to the softcopy.

[CeiResident]

Thanks Bro TomaHawk for your drink this afternoon, sorry to have left in a haste as i was rushing for time.....

Cheers...