Dating older women

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by tabio99

thanks for your opinions guys!
just to add on, she is more successful in her career than me, so in a sense, she doesn't need a man to provide for her (and her child).

No matter how successful the woman is... The man should still step up to take the husband and father role.
Are you ready?

But of cos' you guys need to reach an agreement on how to manage the family finances to avoid issues later.
Her $$ is hers, Your $$ is yours, or share share?

[tabio99]

very powerful statements made here by you guys.
i want to make it sure that i appreciate all comments, as they are words of wisdoms of bros here with life experiences.
thanks once again!

would be interesting to have a female samster point of view but i think there are very few around

[PPGirl]

Originally Posted by tabio99

would be interesting to have a female samster point of view but i think there are very few around

I have posted previously n i think u have skip or selective read some posts lol

[stillgottheblue]

You need to take into account whether you can accept other kid can accept you. Being a step father is not not easy.

[Androgynous]

age is not the key issue since its simply a number. consider the commitment involved since there is a child, which means you are dealing with 2 people in the longer term.

[surbana]

As long both of you is not any problem. However You must be prepare to take care of her child too.

[porscheclub]

Originally Posted by stillgottheblue

You need to take into account whether you can accept other kid can accept you. Being a step father is not not easy.

+1

She's older & has a kid in tow = poor bargaining chip.

So, TS have you guys had sex yet? How does she see this relationship & how are you coming along with her family?

4yrs senior is not much but if you guys are thinking far & you want your own child then better to conceive again before 40. Now, both of you are matured beings so finance, housing, auto, lifestyle etc must be cordially discussed and agree to have a happy union.

Meanwhile, don't worry too much about income but do your best. Again speak to her about your concern as she should understand & accommodate. Also remember this, women age faster than men so please accept this fact when you're past 40.

FYI, I'm also a step father but my 2nd wife is 2yrs younger, we already have our kid & planning for a 3rd.

[tabio99]

Thanks for the comments here!
I agree that the child will be a key factor
- Whether she will be able to accept another person 'stealing' her mother from her. Children will be very sensitive to this..
- I'm not sure how to play the role of a stepfather (that's if we turn out fine, its very very early stages now)

And no, we didn't have sex yet. We just started (very new relationship). I started this thread to gather some opinions about dating older women as some bros here might be experienced.
And we are both expecting EVERYONE to look at us strangely (not that we care about other people). Younger men/Older woman with kid. I think both sets of parents won't be too happy. We haven't told any of them yet. Was thinking of stabilizing the relationship for a period before telling them. Although we are adults, but as Asians we still take regard of our family members feelings and hope they can accept.
Thanks everyone!

[Triple70]

Originally Posted by tabio99

Thanks for the comments here!
I agree that the child will be a key factor
- Whether she will be able to accept another person 'stealing' her mother from her. Children will be very sensitive to this..
- I'm not sure how to play the role of a stepfather (that's if we turn out fine, its very very early stages now)

And no, we didn't have sex yet. We just started (very new relationship). I started this thread to gather some opinions about dating older women as some bros here might be experienced.
And we are both expecting EVERYONE to look at us strangely (not that we care about other people). Younger men/Older woman with kid. I think both sets of parents won't be too happy. We haven't told any of them yet. Was thinking of stabilizing the relationship for a period before telling them. Although we are adults, but as Asians we still take regard of our family members feelings and hope they can accept.
Thanks everyone!

Age gap is not an issue. Compatibility is most important. Same type of graduate frens, family life etc. Just don't be like a long sleeved shirt guy hanging out with someone who looks like a KTV hostess.

Being a step parent is not difficult. Just have to be aware of the boundaries that u are the step parent. Let the kid grow to like u, not insist. Create opportunities to bond regularly.

Avoid the parents issue. Both of u are dating, not the parents. To allow either party parents to influence the courtship.. is disasterous. Both of u shd be very sensitive to this issue. But I guess both of u coming from previous marriages.. shd have some experience in this.

Discuss with your partner about the future, see if both have similar visions. Enjoy the courtship!

[tabio99]

thanks for the tips!

lastly, any suggestions for kid-friendly (4-5yr old) dates?
Zoo,marine park, museum, any more places?

Where do you guys bring your young children to where they, and you yourselves can enjoy the time?

[ChinHo]

Hi TS

In my workplace, i have college whose wife is 5 years elder than him. But they have happy marriage. This example indicate that there are lady attracted to guys afew years younger.

Fyi pls

Originally Posted by tabio99

Hi guys,

I'm divorced (no kid) and am trying to restart my life, and am ready to try dating again. Recently got to know another lady, who is also divorced, and has a young kid. She is 4 years older than me, and we are both in our 30s.

Have you guys dated woman older than yourself? I have the perception that ladies wouldn't be attracted to guys several years younger than herself.
Would like to have some views from you guys! Ladies are welcomed to offer your opinions too..

[Triple70]

Originally Posted by tabio99

thanks for the tips!

lastly, any suggestions for kid-friendly (4-5yr old) dates?
Zoo,marine park, museum, any more places?

Where do you guys bring your young children to where they, and you yourselves can enjoy the time?

You should ask her what she wants to do, her dreams and aspirations, and slowly make plans for them to happen. Ask her what stuff she long to do but haven't done cos no guy ard etc. Show that u care about her needs and her peace of mind, ... that she and her kid, are the centre of your attention.

Remember.. life is about memorable experiences, so take tons of selfies at major outings with all 3.

For kids that age.. consider places, like Safra Jurong maze, Downtown East Kids Amaze, or even Superstar Virgo. Pasir Ris Park Playground, West Coast park playground. IMM/ Westgate playground... Zoo is more the waterplay area.

Go cycling with a child seat, or simply go pools with children play areas. Keep the outings short as kids tire out easily.

Make plans for holidays together. Don't worry about quiet time, kid will sleep early, so u will still have your private moments with her.

Ultimately, keep making fresh plans to keep the future looking promising.

[porscheclub]

What triple70 said.

4yrs gap is not much & she sounds like a well maintained lady. My relative's wife is 6yrs senior & they have 4 kids together.

Don't worry about in-laws at the moment till both of you are seriously in love & why should any parents mind since both of you are divorcees though your parents will want your natural kid.

Is her daughter under 5? Singapore has one of the best environment for children so you're spoilt for choices. We usually keep to indoors when they're under 3/4 due to our weather so it's always malls which we have plenty. You can google with her together for places that welcome kids & Turf city has a good corner. Otherwise most kids love the beaches & sand but not the waves so keep the swimming to shallow pools.

Visit the aquariums in Sentosa so prepare to get those family cards Once her daughter likes you, you're 50% done with her!

Oh but you didn't mention. How about her ex?

[tabio99]

thank you so much for all the replies!
so many warm-hearted and useful replies here.. sbf not only a sex forum after all!

bro triple70: thanks for the suggestions for the play areas!

bro porscheclub: Her ex is still around as he is the father of their child, but i do not foresee any issues there, apart from the fact that it is difficult for the young child to understand why her mom is with another person and not her father. They do weekly meetups for a few hours. And the kid is turning 5 years old.
So the suggestions are good!

Keep the suggestions coming on how to build relationships (with both mom and/or daughter) if there are more, i will read every single word!

[JohnSmithSenior]

Originally Posted by tabio99

Thanks for the comments here!
I agree that the child will be a key factor
- Whether she will be able to accept another person 'stealing' her mother from her. Children will be very sensitive to this..
- I'm not sure how to play the role of a stepfather (that's if we turn out fine, its very very early stages now)

And no, we didn't have sex yet. We just started (very new relationship). I started this thread to gather some opinions about dating older women as some bros here might be experienced.
And we are both expecting EVERYONE to look at us strangely (not that we care about other people). Younger men/Older woman with kid.

Think the issue isn't so much the age as it is the kid. Are you sure that somewhere down the road, you are even open to the concept of raising another man's child? I am not too keen on this personally, but people do differ.

In our Asian society, a lot of people don't really believe in adoption. your parents may feel this way too.