Happily Married with an ex WL(VN)

[casannova03]

Haha! In the fast-paced environment that we live in, sometimes a simple gesture of affection can take on a whole new world of meaning no?

Well, i wish to present the opposite though...hahaha...outside of home when i am with my friends, my wife WILL NOT do these things like taking food for me!! She feel that in our culture, there is no such practice and she feels "strange" when she does so...

So i would not say that every VN gal will do so...however, this is not to say that my wife is not caring...she has her own ways of showing it..

[casannova03]

...."For every good, there must be a bad. For every positive, there must first be a negative. For light to exist, there must first be
darkness. For every market boom, there must first be a crash. For
you to experience happiness, you must first experience sadness. For
you to experience pride and inspiration, you must first have
experienced disappointment and adversity. The greater the initial
failure and disappointment, the sweeter will be the pride of success...."

Something which i came across and i found meaningful and straightforward....

[hosayboh]

Bro Cass, when's metal dilemna coming out? Waiting 4 u......

[casannova03]

Your Mental Capacity

For a start, in the eyes of many, you may have seeked love in the wrong place -entertainment outlets. That in itself is a major setback in terms of the trust level in a relationship. I am not gonna start a debate on the viability of such meetings and such relationships for there'll be no end...

My stance is that I choose what I want in my life, if its gonna turn out fine then good, JACKPOT! If it turns out to be otherwise, then I'll blame no one but myself,period.

In my opinion, any relationship is as successful as how you want it to be. You should be in control of it and when i say this I mean really in control.

Know yourself

I think a major problem is that many people do not know themselves well enough and that they are mentally weak. I really believe so. Think about it, mental strength leads to other things such as your financial status, your emotional well-being and your self -discipline. These factors are a major part of anyone's life. I've got to admit that I was one of them and am still in the process of improving.

You've got to be clear about your own standings! You've got to mentally visualise where you see yourself in say,1 yrs time, 5 yrs time etc. You've got to be sure of yourself! Once that is ascertained, nobody and nothing should stop you from getting what you want...

It's all in the mind!

Coffeeshop/Forum Talk

Now, you've got some feelings for a certain gal you've met - fortunately or unfortunately at an entertainment outlet. There seems to be reciprocal interest from the gal and she's letting you know day by day. You start to meet her more often and starts dating her and doing everything that a couple should be doing. After some time, when its decision time, you start to question yourself in your mind. Is this real? or is it because of my money?

Now, in my opening sentence, I've mentioned the impact that it would have on your trust in her right? What the hell am I trying to say here?

Now, my point is you dun go asking people who have had absolutely zero contact and relations with the gal for advice! Yes, the forum is there with tons of info and "experts" who are ever ready to offer assistance. But THINK! Are my experiences the same as yours? Is my gal and the way she behave and her demands the same? Hell, no!

then what?......

got to go...work time...

To be continued...

[Hurricane88]

Pls continue...I am staying tune to this dial...

[jackbl]

This I agree hands up!!! Every experience is different so it is difficult for us to give a clear-cut answer to all questions....

Originally Posted by casannova03

Now, my point is you dun go asking people who have had absolutely zero contact and relations with the gal for advice! Yes, the forum is there with tons of info and "experts" who are ever ready to offer assistance. But THINK! Are my experiences the same as yours? Is my gal and the way she behave and her demands the same? Hell, no!

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Coffeeshop/Forum Talk

....Now, my point is you dun go asking people who have had absolutely zero contact and relations with the gal for advice! Yes, the forum is there with tons of info and "experts" who are ever ready to offer assistance. But THINK! Are my experiences the same as yours? Is my gal and the way she behave and her demands the same? Hell, no!

then what?......

got to go...work time...

To be continued...

...continued


The same goes for any talk you have at coffeeshops with your friends or aquaintances... People like to give advice and they certainly have a right to offer them...the crux at this point is what you allow to enter your mind!

If you are going to believe your buddy's words that "My previous viet gal was a scam and think that its gonna happen to you too" = 100% all viet WL gals are scammers... who's gonna stop you? answer is nobody but yourself.....

Conversely, your next buddy says " Oh those jokers dun know what they are saying, sour grapes they are." = 100% all viet WL gals are wife material?

The Key here is, you've got to strike a balance. Nobody, and I repeat, NOBODY knows the gal better than yourself! You've really got to take everything you hear and say with a pinch of salt.

Bad relationship happens and yes they seemed to be the majority of the cases but think deeper and you'll know the underlying reason...who the hell is gonna let you touch and screw, with money paid, if they are Li Ka Shing's daughther??? Get real!

Good relationships are around as well. The thing though is : its a bit of an unconventional relationship to begin with and its gonna be tricky.

An angel pops up and says " Oh man! She's definitely the one! So caring, understanding and soft spoken....what's more, she's got a body men will die for!!" At this moment, the devil pops up " She's a con-women! You're gonna go bankrupt in no time! i guarantee you that!"

Great!! You're lost!!!.....Add in what you've read in the forums and your friends' different advice and I guarantee you're lost deeper!!!

So before I digress, I'll say again: Listen and read advice with caution! (mine included)

[bloopz]

hi bro,
thanks for the great read. i have just went through all 21 pages.
well, i have to say that your thread is educational and interesting.

by the way, i'm a true blue sg gal and my bf often do wat u did, (giving me 2 choices and explaining the rational behind it) when we have any discussions or arguments. works everytime when he wants to convince me of something..

congratulations on finding the one. i'm sure ur relationship will last since it is built on sincerity, trust and love. cheers!

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by bloopz

hi bro,

congratulations on finding the one. i'm sure ur relationship will last since it is built on sincerity, trust and love. cheers!

Thanks!!

[tekka]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Thanks!!

hi bro casannova...
as i new read your post about your courage married to vn wife due your mother problem..and happy for you find good lovely wife... as i have a brother also married vn wife. almost 5 year now.. both still happly married... from what you write about life at vn.... it true.... unless the vn gals not come poor family life... some vn gals parent want see thier daughter happily married to right man,,, as we all know..... thier daughter begin live far away from them.. as me ihave been vietnam few times and i can see the vietnamese family so close... and now got know a friend from work happen married to vn wife... and i meet them up for chat almost everday think we all as friends now... as to me .. i just got know vn gal and hope settle down soon if fate made us mean to be....... so bad have fail one with vn gals...hihi ...

[nuvision321]

Bro Casannova03,

Thanks for sharing your story. I admire your courage and perservence in working towards what you want. I wish you all the best and may you lived happy never after - esp after what you been through.

As a matter of fact, you story strike some chort of similarities in my personal experience. I would say that I married an Indonesia WL which I also got acquitted during one of my trip to a nearby Indoneisa island (when i was doing my NS). I was attracted at first sight and invested a lot of emotional efforts to make the relationship happen; those were years of depression, depair and desolute during my university tensure of trying to make ends meet. Hence, I am able to understand the mental and emotional struggles and challengers you faced when you were in the initial stage of your relationship. Time flies and now I am married with my wife for 4 years and she has since reloccated to Singapore.

Just curious, whether did you in your 6 years of marriage, ever feel distance from your wife?

Best regards

[libra1800]

I don't believe that I actually read in one sitting all 21 pages of this thread.

As I read on & on, I wanted to find out more of Bro Casannova03 thoughts, purpose, reasons & perceptions. I find his work to be quite well structured & thought out. Much time has definitely been spent by him to think through the process for him to put it properly into words that is easy to understand & follow.

I believe that this is an excellent & informative work by Bro Casannova03 highlighting the ups & downs of marrying a foreign WL. The rejections & snide remarks he & his wife had to face from all sorts of people.

I sincerely hope that both of you (as well as others who have married foreigners) will continue to enjoy continuous happiness in your marriage and when there are downsides & quarrels (which there will be) remember to always communicate with each other asap in a logical & even mannered way after both have calmed down.

[SING_IN_HCMC]

Bro Casanova03

I respect you for what you did. Give a chance to others esp your loved one, and you will be rewarded richly, either in this or next life. Take care!

[enter-raw]

WOW !! Great read and very interesting ..... looking forward for more updates !!!

raw

[jackbl]

本地异国夫妻显著增加 去年占新婚夫妇的39％

（新加坡）联合早报 邓莉蓉(2009-06-18)


新加坡越来越国际化，国人出国旅游或工作的机会更多了，于是异国婚姻也更加普遍。据最新发表的数据显示，在 2008年每十对本地夫妻当中，就有近四对（39％）是新加坡公民和外国人结为夫妇，而异国夫妻的“生产力 ”，似乎也比本土夫妻高。

　　在1998年，异国夫妻在本地公民婚姻中所占的比例为33％。“本地公民婚姻”包括了结婚伴侣中，双方 或至少有一方是新加坡公民，而“异国婚姻”是指新加坡公民和非公民结为夫妻，而非公民就包括永久居民或持就 业准证的居民。

去年出生小公民

30％为异国夫妻所生

　　国家人口秘书处昨天公布最新人口数据时，首次发表异国婚姻的报告。它指出，在去年出生时即是新加坡公民 的3万2423名婴儿当中，约30％是异国夫妻所生，这比1998年的22％增加许多。在这十年间，异国夫 妻生育数字也逐年上升，而双方都是新加坡公民的夫妇所生育的婴儿，则有减少的趋势（见附表）。

　　在婚姻方面，去年有2万1042对公民伴侣共结连理，这比2007年的2万775对新人来得多。在去年 结为夫妻的新人当中，异国夫妇就有8136对。另外，去年也有3554对永久居民或非公民伴侣，选择在新加 坡登记结婚。

　　不令人感到意外的是本地的外籍新娘人数，远远超过外籍新郎。去年结婚的异国夫妻之中，有78％是本地人 娶外籍新娘，而外籍新郎的人数则相对平稳，本地女性嫁给外国丈夫的数目，维持在每年平均180 0名左右。

　　人口秘书处昨天在记者会上指出，这些外籍配偶大多来自亚洲地区，其中外籍新娘是亚洲人的占了97％，而 外籍新郎是亚洲人的则占了69％。另外也有一些新加坡人的外籍配偶是来自欧洲、美国、澳洲、纽西兰等地。不 过，人口秘书处并没进一步说明本地人的外籍配偶主要是来自哪些国家。

　　据知，外籍新娘较多是来自中国、缅甸、越南和泰国等地。

　　29岁的股票经纪叶明祥去年底就和相识两年的泰国华裔女友结婚，成为异国夫妻。因为妻子还要打理泰国的 生意，所以两人婚后暂时还得分隔两地。他是在2006年到曼谷旅行，在餐馆用餐时认识这名泰籍女友，两人一 拍即合，很快就谱出恋曲。

　　两人是在去年11月结婚，并打算在一两年内生小孩，以早点组织小家庭。叶明祥也打算再过一段时间就到泰 国去创业，以和妻子在一起。

　　他受访时说，他并没刻意要找外国人为结婚对象。在谈到本地异国夫妻比例增多的现象时，他觉得其中的原因 包括新加坡女性的事业心比较强，而外国女性则较为重视家庭生活。

　　“我个人很重视家庭生活，太太也是这样。她的家庭价值观也比较强，不会把工作摆在第一位。我们在这方面 的思想一致，所以希望在一两年内生小孩，最理想是有两个孩子。”

　　人口秘书处指出，异国夫妻增多，正反映新加坡因致力发展为环球都会，而促进了本地人和外国人的交流。因 此，日后的异国婚姻相信会越来越多，并使新加坡的社会结构更加丰富多元。

　　它也在报告中详细分析了异国夫妻的年龄差距和教育水平。整体而言，本地男子和外籍新娘老少配的情况较为 普遍，而外籍新郎和本地伴侣一般上都属于同个年龄层。在迎娶外地新娘的男性中，62％介于25岁至39岁， 而嫁给外地男子的本地新娘则相对年轻，73％介于25岁至39岁。

　　异国夫妻的教育水平基本上也相近，其中四成的外籍新娘有中学教育程度。不过，相比之下外籍新郎的教育水 平比较高，有56％拥有大学文凭。