Confessions of a Assistant Wedding Photographer

[fishhunterii]

The outside of the megayacht

[papachan]

nice story!!! keep it up...

[crossfir3]

Originally Posted by fishhunterii

The bulge in my pants getting stiff thinking of the session last night. As I was adjusting my sailing shorts, Tracy came out from the bathroom. She walked straight to me, used her hands cup at my shaft.

Bro, its Janet right, not Tracy? Anyway pls continue

[SnowWolf]

Yacht? Bro, that one can qualify as frigate already I think LOL

[alec]

Such a big yatch for just the few of you??? Mus be q "tiring" to run around the ship right???

[honeypig13]

Very good story Bro. Keep it up

[nissansunny]

Bro, your story really makes me hard on, pls keep them coming!

[fishhunterii]

………………… “what took you so long for my coffee?” quipped the bride. (I’m not your persoal assistant, silently saying to my self)
This job i’m assigned to is the type where they think they get the most expensive package and command us to do many things. Lots of complaints of minor items and bargain fro more free items to bundle into the package.

It’s blardy 5.30 am and I had to endure this kind of stupid attitude of a bride. I can tell she is queen of the house, every family member is afraid of her and she shouts at them.

She took the first sip, “This is too hot, I can’t drink this” staring at me. The makeup artist and hair stylist stopped working on her. All eyes looking at me. “What you standing there for, go change it for me”

I took the cup and got out of the room, went to the kitchen. Pouring the coffee away I adjusted the warm water and the cool water. In one of my pouches, I always have laxatives, charcoal pills and muscle relaxtant for my back pains.

I have a horrible stomach, on a job sometimes it can have a mind of it’s own and decides I need to go do a big business. I can’t have that in a middle of a shoot especially on the actual day.
I would use a little laxative to help me start the morning engine and get me going for the rest of the day.

I knew the bride will be trouble for me since I started dancing to her tune of being in control. I added some laxative to her coffee to make her uncomfortable but not strong enough to sit down on the white porcelain throne.

Brought the coffee to her, not a thank you but a sarcastic remark “that took you long enough”

I continued taking my photos, the makeup artist and hairstylist just shrugged their shoulders looking at me. Both had their share of being shouted in the morning. The standard shots of the pair of wedding shoes and the gown hanging. I saw the gown the bust area had the bra pads sewed to it, normally brides would wear the nude bra or something similar.

I asked the makeup artist , “she’s not wearing any nude bra ? “
“Don’t think so” came the reply.
Quickly I went downstairs to check on what the sister’s team are playing tricks on the groom.

it was all the standard stuffs , wasabi concoction with other chili, some odd looking cupcakes, a number of pantyhose still in the packaging and few packets of hair remover adhesive tapes.

Nothing that I can use, I thought to just ignore and withhold until the job is over tonight. Suddenly I heard a shouting match from the room upstairs.

“You burnt my hair!!”
“I did not burn any part of your hair”
“Are you fuckin blind, what is the burnt patch here”
“That was there, I have not touched your hair yet”

I rushed upstairs to see what actually happened. As I entered the room, the bride was about to slap the hair stylist. I held up my Nikon D3s, fingers on the trigger and the sound of the shutter firing like a machine gun capturing frame by frame of the brides actions.

Her hands raised high, with her palm at full speed aiming for the hairstylist. She ducked away but the palm hit onto the cheeks of the makeup artist.
Whatever it was, I had to protect my working colleagues.

She pointed her fingers at me, demanding that I delete the pictures instantly. Her hands was reaching for the lens and grabbed the front of it and tried to yanked it off my hands and threw it.

The Nikon D3s with the 24-70mm lens with the SB-900 flash attached fell to the floor. The flash separated from the camera body and broke into 2 pieces, Luckily the body and lens nothing happened except for cosmetic scratches.

I do not tolerate anyone touching my equipment and this is intentionally doing it. I picked up the items on the floor, packed my bags. I asked the makeup artist and hairstylist to do the same.

We walked out of her room, the bride was furious kept yelling abusive languages at me. I grabbed the makeup artist hands and walked down the stairs together with the hairstylist.

The family members and friends did not realize what happened thinking is was her usual nature being loud. We all got into my car, I started the engine drove few streets away and all 3 of us took our phones out to call our bosses respectively.

It’s still early, I just drove to a 24 hours cafe, all 3 of us ordered breakfast. May the makeup artist gave me a peck on my cheeks and hugged me. She said “Thank you”

I ordered a glass of ice, took out a cloth from my pouch wrapped the ice inside and started putting on her cheeks. It was red and a little swollen.

Our phones all rang at the same time, our bosses called us trying to get us to go back to the job.

[tallsynn]

hmm... eh...

[cpgoer]

don't stop!! hahaha! camping!

[horniez]

hey bro TS, how did it jump from the yacht to the wedding? did I miss out anything?

[alec]

This is jus the right attitute. Was the photo evidence put into good use?

[Dino1]

Good job TS.
support and give us more dosage.

[gaipauchi]

Excellent....
glad ur back continuing ur life story....

[ch33zy]

Great that u are back.. but i am also lost.. the earlier update was that u were on the seas.. but the last update is that u are on the land.. missing any update in between?