How long did you not have sex with your wife or gf?

[xilverzap]

Originally Posted by sexxay_sexxay

I believe for most women, we attach sentimentality to sex. We see sexual intercourse as our way of loving our other halves. Maybe you have not given her the impetus for her to 'show' her appreciation for your love? .

Some women are just not sexually active or have any interest at all when it comes to sex. I have mentioned it or even initiated sex before. Always ended up, me not cumming and she frastrasted and me frastrated too. Really cannot make it one. So, we stopped it altogether.

Don't always think of leaving, think about staying on first... Or you might regret it someday. Better to try, than to have never tried at all.

I have tried to think how to be a good husband. Spend more time together, communicate and so on... But in the end. NO SEX still. Maybe she is from old school where sex is a big big taboo and she does not like it at all. We did not do it before our marriage, hence I got short changed???? But I do love her for everything else she is.

Well, I am still in the mist of this mess I am in. Seeing someone else and have my wife too. It will end up me losing both. Perhaps then I'd be happier? Wife is willing to forgive but I dont think I can forgive myself because I might find someone else to have sex again later on. I guess I am really sex hungry person.Haha..

Wife cannot take it one day and will blow up and ask me to leave and not bother about me anymore I am sure of it. Well at least 80%sure.

[asdfghjkl]

how come some women everyday face penis.. will they still be excited when they go back home?

[jaclyn]

Originally Posted by xilverzap

Well, like I mentioned. The problem here is that I am not getting sex at all from wife. Does this give me an excuse to "eat outside"?? I have been married to this woman for so long. Everything a man want in a woman is this woman that I am married to. BUT THERE IS NO SEX. haiz....

Ending up, me having a fling outside that have caused me to stir away from this marriage. Two different gals will have 2 different qualities and problems. At least with this new partner, I get sex and lots of it and I am able to accept her flaws too. I am not viewing or comparing. It would not be fair. The other way is to see if I am acceptable to the new partner with all MY flaws.... and so far everything is quite fine with her.

How long did I not have sex with me wife? YEARS..... that I cannot remember the last time we did it.
How often do I have sex with my partner? EVERYDAY SINGLE DAY I am with her.

Like the other bro mentioned. It is tough as it is to be like living with a stranger. Some people told me I am lucky I do not have any kids or committed to anything like a house. It belongs in her name. So means I can just move out.

I am pondering over a decision to totally cut the marriage. But it is not something I can decide overnight. It is hard. I admit I am not a good man. But with not that many many years left in my life. I was thinking to give the new partner a shot to start all over. I think I am selfish and am going to hurt my wife A LOT if I do this. Damn........ this things are never easy....

I guess the question for me is IS SEX going to be the deciding factor??????

Regards
Xilver

mind that i ask: how long have u been with ur partner? r u sure that she will remain the same & won't become like ur wife aft yrs down the road?

u have to ask urself all this qns lor... i believe ur wife is a loving wife other than she's dun like sex... if not u would have leave her long time ago... ur wife will be very upset when she knw that u're going to leave her juz bcos of sex... maybe u shld have a gd talk with her... let her knw ur needs... maybe she's willing to compromise with twice a mth... juz hope for the best...

take care...

[john99]

lustmeimei,

It is quite normal for guys (even married ones) to surf porn and masturbate. Do not be overly concern as when he wants the real thing he will still come back to you.

Perhaps he need some variety and different ways to tempt him back into action. Talk to him gently and tell him your concerns and yr need for some TLC. Most Asian men are not expressive with their emotions and tend to hide them, it is up to you to teach him that you need to be loved and cuddled frequently.

It could be worst, he is not seeking sex outside if he is wanking himself silly in front of a computer!. Nip the problem in the bud NOW before he gets other ideas...

[BustLover]

Sometimes I console myself whenever I am deprived of sex. I told myself that life is never perfect. If you have a good wife that can fully sextisfy you in bed, then she maybe a lousy mother for the kids. Similarly, if you have a wife that is like a dead fish on bed and does not like to have sex, she may be a good mother for your kids. Very seldom do you get a wife that can sexistify you forever and yet a very good mother for your kids.

I may be wrong but generally, this is a fact of life. Agree?

[steamystreamsg]

Bro Bustlover,

I share the same sentiments too.

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by do335

Just wondering, how many of us would marry our wife if given another chance? I mean, if magically we gan go back in time, will you say "I do"?

The scar would always be there regards the reasons they separate forever.

Never seen a broken mirror that could be fully restored. I might be wrong.

Cheers

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by BustLover

Sometimes I console myself whenever I am deprived of sex. I told myself that life is never perfect. If you have a good wife that can fully sextisfy you in bed, then she maybe a lousy mother for the kids. Similarly, if you have a wife that is like a dead fish on bed and does not like to have sex, she may be a good mother for your kids. Very seldom do you get a wife that can sexistify you forever and yet a very good mother for your kids.

I may be wrong but generally, this is a fact of life. Agree?

Yup... Good point there......

No wonder she really do not care about the kids.... We had great sex... Everyday.... The other one..... Love the kids but sex is like .....

Cheers

[xilverzap]

Originally Posted by BustLover

Sometimes I console myself whenever I am deprived of sex. I told myself that life is never perfect. If you have a good wife that can fully sextisfy you in bed, then she maybe a lousy mother for the kids. Similarly, if you have a wife that is like a dead fish on bed and does not like to have sex, she may be a good mother for your kids. Very seldom do you get a wife that can sexistify you forever and yet a very good mother for your kids.

I may be wrong but generally, this is a fact of life. Agree?

Yes, I agree that one may not be getting it so easy to have everything perfect. A perfect wife that covers every need of a husband. My concern is wether SEX plays such a big role that if it does not exist?? Then the rest of the marriage may not work? Like in my case??

Yes I have been married for a long time. 10 years. I have been "eating out" all the while too. It is just recently that she realised I am seeing someone else that made the matter more serious. I have been known the other person for about a year now. Its not long but through the 1 year, my feelings towards the gal has grown as well. I guess that is why in the end I admitted to it. Otherwise, I think like many bros here know, I would have denied and lied till the cows come home.

Anyway, thanks for kind words and not being flamed through forum here even though I project myself to be not a good husband.

[BustLover]

My sincere and best advices for all married sex-deprived men and love-deprived women are:-

a. Accept the fact that your spouse can NEVER be good both at bed and your kids.

b. If you love your spouse dearly in other areas but not getting enough of sex from him/her, sextisfy yourself through masturbation. Most of the times, it should overcome your urge. But if you are really sick of doing it yourself/alone, then tou-chia a bit lah.

c. When your Tou-chia, please do it with limit and as discreetly as possible. You can milk the cow, but please do not bring it HOME. It is going to be a disaster.

d. Try not to probe into your spouse life-style. Most of the times, knowing as little is much much better than getting to the truth. Trust and respect each other should be the order of the day. Remember, truth hurts.

e. Can't think of any but ask yourself, is it better to have everybody happy and in harmony than living with a stranger?

f. Never ever utter the word DIVORCE when you quarrel. Once either party raise it out, it is going to come true...
The word DIVORCE should not be in your mind at all...

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by xilverzap

Yes, I agree that one may not be getting it so easy to have everything perfect. A perfect wife that covers every need of a husband. My concern is wether SEX plays such a big role that if it does not exist?? Then the rest of the marriage may not work? Like in my case??

Yes I have been married for a long time. 10 years. I have been "eating out" all the while too. It is just recently that she realised I am seeing someone else that made the matter more serious. I have been known the other person for about a year now. Its not long but through the 1 year, my feelings towards the gal has grown as well. I guess that is why in the end I admitted to it. Otherwise, I think like many bros here know, I would have denied and lied till the cows come home.

Anyway, thanks for kind words and not being flamed through forum here even though I project myself to be not a good husband.

Same boat ya here?

So what would u do now?? Keep both??

My wife's adv is do what u want outside but do not bring back your shit to the house.

Sigh

[snow_wolf]

Funny, my wife say the same. she don't mind i eat out jsut don't let her know. She said she cannot do it just for sake of doing it. She prefer to do it when she in the mood. problem is she only in mood when in overseas.

[BustLover]

Originally Posted by Rainman

My wife's adv is do what u want outside but do not bring back your shit to the house.

Sigh

Bro Rainman, you should consider yourself lucky to get your wife blessing to tua-cha outside. The problem is, most of us don't even get to that stage...

Hiaz...Some men just have the luck...

[Rainman]

Originally Posted by snow_wolf

Funny, my wife say the same. she don't mind i eat out jsut don't let her know. She said she cannot do it just for sake of doing it. She prefer to do it when she in the mood. problem is she only in mood when in overseas.

Johor is also oversesa? No?

My wife sleep very early like 10pm... So sometime I will tell her go gelang eat supper and she just say, don't drink and drive..... Ok?

Sometime... I comeback around 5-6am...

Yup.. I have the best wife on earth.

Cheers

[xilverzap]

Originally Posted by Rainman

Same boat ya here?

So what would u do now?? Keep both??

My wife's adv is do what u want outside but do not bring back your shit to the house.

Sigh

I dont feel the same way as i did before for my wife now although she is good. It is just myself that have fallen for another. And the relationship deepens with the other now. I used to think I can pull the brakes if the situation thickens but seems like I'd been sucked into another whirlpool of love for another. Haiz...

Keep both is definitely not an option as my wife is not willing to share me. That I understand. Not many wives would like to share their husbands. What do I do now? I really dont know too. I am kinda loss here. LoL....

Same boat? lol.. well.. perhaps 1 day we can kopi and lament over this silly situation we land overselves in when the dick take charge of the thinking....

Like I say earlier, these things are not easy to handle and it affects people's emotions and really have to handle with a lot of care although the damage is done.