FB? FwB? NSA? Sex Partner?

[smartke]

Originally Posted by zacarie

Times have changed and we girls know more abt our sexual needs. n tt it is no longer to just fulfil the guys desires. We want someone to loves us n care for us. and we too want someone to fulfil our needs which the bf/hb may not be able to.
i guess sometimes we just dont want to get tied down. Thus the NSA FB.

Like myself. i got out of my marriage. but i still do have my needs. sexually. N so came my ex fb. who fulfilled it. but as time goes it became a realtionship where i feel very suffocated. with all his qns when i wanted to make new friends. frm sbf. so it's almost like being tied down once again. which is not what i want.

i want a friend who can fulfil me sexually but at the same time give me respect. and being able to be there as a friend too when i need one. Not always thinking about sex. And we can have a decent meetup with no thoughts of sex which would be really nice. But if the friend took all lil movements frm me as a hint tt i am asking for sex. then i guess all he could think abt was sex.

So it's really not easy to find someone who can do tt.. And when a person do find one. they will be cherished deeply cause it is not easy to find one. esp after having a bad experience i think one wil be more wary of who they are are going with..

ur last 2 para is the main pt!

honestly, it's really not easy to hv "FwB"! tats how i sum up based ur last 2 para. i cld b wrong thou...

talkin abt bad experience... hmmm... well, all i can say is... we all hv gd & bad experience, agree?

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by smartke

moral of the story? well, 1st of, K is not suitable for 'such' r/ship, or rather, he was not prepared for 'such' r/ship at tat moment. till date, he is still quite skeptical abt havin fb and/or fwb, cos he was hurt very badly. on the oth hand, J is frickle minded. her indecisive has made K suffered alot.

thk u for readin.

I guess sometimes we wont know what exactly we want or how we should handle it.until we experience it oursleves..

Originally Posted by smartke

ur last 2 para is the main pt!

honestly, it's really not easy to hv "FwB"! tats how i sum up based ur last 2 para. i cld b wrong thou...

talkin abt bad experience... hmmm... well, all i can say is... we all hv gd & bad experience, agree?

Haha. yea. there is the good n the bad. but if ur first turned out to be so bad. totally different from the person he portrayed himself to be. it gets scary.

even till now with all these tt i'm posting here. i dont know y but he is very offended by it and keep msging me and scolding(?) me. think can say scold lah. haha. If i did mention his name..understandable. but seriously i dont get it.. y do tt?

Anyway.. hope all who are looking for a FB/ FwB/ NSA/ Lovers etx. really wish all of u the best in finding the right one. and should anyone have any stories. Pls do share.

smartke. thanks for starting this thread.

[Snah]

So Ms Zacarie...

Hope you have gotten some valuable experience from this. Would suggest that you do think what you really want before embarking any kind of relationship. Im sure yur ex FB is hurt enough as well. So all the best in your future findings....

[Apocalypse]

FB/FwB/NSA are all interchangeable stage of the relationship, names that people used to safeguard themselves.

Example: Say your friend and you had sex once, its a NSA, there was already sexual tension between the 2 of you for months or years and that feeling was magical and earth shattering, now you want it again and again, you become FwB. But in essense you are not going to commit to him, and you have a choice of looking for bf/gf &/or date some other guy. But times when you have urges you look for each other, you are not going to ask each other about nuclear science or stock market movement. you just want to fuck, hence "fuck buddy".

But eventually, emotions and feelings will surface. Its just a matter of time. Sex is present, but it is not the main course, it is the dessert. A response.

Every girl looking for a "FB" has a yearning. It is the job of the guy to find out what that yearning is, and hit on that, and the sex is a natural response to that hit. Some girls yearn to have "someone to pamper them" , other just want "someone they can talk to". Others just want you to "listen to them". Its how you convince them that they are not just a piece of meat, but someone they can trust in order to explore further and more.

just my 2 cents.

[1stTR]

Originally Posted by zacarie

These terms are indeed important for not only married man but anyone getting into it. mind asking what u guys do when ur girl want to call it quits.. do u just let it go?
If it's an agreement beforehand tat either party hav their rite's to call it quit, then jus hav to accept & respect it. Notin is 4ever. It is better to let it go with some good memories still lingering in the mind rather then to makes it turn ugly. Who knos 1 day we may meet again.

Have a qns. a lil off topic. say if ur gal after ending it. shared her experience like i did. Does it bother u?
Nope. Cos noone knos its relate to me unless she spells out the name.
And if it does. what would u do?
Do notin. Watever is over is over, whether she shares the truth or the twisted version will no longer bothers me cos it will not easy/change/reverse anytin.

My views in Blue

[smartke]

Originally Posted by zacarie

Haha. yea. there is the good n the bad. but if ur first turned out to be so bad. totally different from the person he portrayed himself to be. it gets scary.

even till now with all these tt i'm posting here. i dont know y but he is very offended by it and keep msging me and scolding(?) me. think can say scold lah. haha. If i did mention his name..understandable. but seriously i dont get it.. y do tt?

Anyway.. hope all who are looking for a FB/ FwB/ NSA/ Lovers etx. really wish all of u the best in finding the right one. and should anyone have any stories. Pls do share.

smartke. thanks for starting this thread.

no sis zacarie, i shld b the one sincerely thk u for sharin ur exp & supportin tis thread instead. the honor is mine!

the main purpose of tis thread is to hv more ppl sharin their story & exp like u did, so tat we all mayb able to hv a better understandin of the opp sex's view in "FB", "FwB" & etc.. of cos, in general, not explicitly.

hope there will b more response on tis topic...

Originally Posted by Apocalypse

FB/FwB/NSA are all interchangeable stage of the relationship, names that people used to safeguard themselves.

Example: Say your friend and you had sex once, its a NSA, there was already sexual tension between the 2 of you for months or years and that feeling was magical and earth shattering, now you want it again and again, you become FwB. But in essense you are not going to commit to him, and you have a choice of looking for bf/gf &/or date some other guy. But times when you have urges you look for each other, you are not going to ask each other about nuclear science or stock market movement. you just want to fuck, hence "fuck buddy".

But eventually, emotions and feelings will surface. Its just a matter of time. Sex is present, but it is not the main course, it is the dessert. A response.

Every girl looking for a "FB" has a yearning. It is the job of the guy to find out what that yearning is, and hit on that, and the sex is a natural response to that hit. Some girls yearn to have "someone to pamper them" , other just want "someone they can talk to". Others just want you to "listen to them". Its how you convince them that they are not just a piece of meat, but someone they can trust in order to explore further and more.

just my 2 cents.

bro, thk u for sharin.

if i hv concluded ur last para correctly, the key word is "COMPANIONSHIP"!

again, i stand corrected...

Originally Posted by 1stTR

My views in Blue

well said bro! u r someone wif exp too... pls share, if u dun mind...

[1stTR]

Originally Posted by smartke

well said bro! u r someone wif exp too... pls share, if u dun mind...

Bro, wher got exp..... When u've been dump offen, hurt enuf, crushed to dust and drained to the extreme till u no longer hav expectations, feelings, emotions and take watever tat comes ur way..... then u kno u've attain the 'ENLIGHTMENT'.

菩提本无树，明镜亦非台，本来无一物，何处惹尘埃。

[smartke]

Originally Posted by 1stTR

Bro, wher got exp..... When u've been dump offen, hurt enuf, crushed to dust and drained to the extreme till u no longer hav expectations, feelings, emotions and take watever tat comes ur way..... then u kno u've attain the 'ENLIGHTMENT'.

菩提本无树，明镜亦非台，本来无一物，何处惹尘埃。

bro, dun think u can b any worse than me...

anyway, cont wif ur phase of "菩提本无树，明镜亦非台，本来无一物，何处惹尘埃"

万物皆空，万法皆空，四大皆空，五蕴皆空。人生本无常事，万事物都在变。
所谓，天有不测风云，月有阴晴圆缺。一切随缘.....

[Apocalypse]

Originally Posted by smartke

bro, thk u for sharin.

if i hv concluded ur last para correctly, the key word is "COMPANIONSHIP"!

again, i stand corrected...

Companionship is true. But more towards understanding what make the girl tick, and whack at there. The fool demands sex, the wise man set the environment where the woman surrenders, and sex is a natural response.

For the woman fresh out of a r/s, and see FB as a means of maintaining normalcy in her life, you adopt a persona that's no frills, and always making her forget her misery, you be ready to support her with your shoulders, listen to her and wipe those tears away.

For the woman that's insecure, you become her security.
For the woman that's lonely, you become her companion
For the woman that's agressive, you become her unmovable stone.
For the woman that's just out of a r/s, you become the bf she never had.

There are many techniques u can use from the art of war like:

Calculations
Doing Battle
Planning Attacks
Weakness and Strength
Nine Changes
Army Maneuvers
Ground Formation
Using Spies

Like in Zacarie's case, when I appear to be disinterested in what she does to my FB, she will show me, tell me about how many guys she talked to, or gave her a response. I continue my disinterests and she gives me her passwords and etc. I asked her who she goes out with, scold her all the more she dun say. I don't bother and I say "enjoy yourself hor", she comes back and tells me who she went out with. This is calculation and army maneuvers. This doesn't mean I will always use this technique, there r unlimited variations that can be used.

Due to my lack of experience, breakup is much harder than getting together, and continuing.

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by Snah

So Ms Zacarie...

Hope you have gotten some valuable experience from this. Would suggest that you do think what you really want before embarking any kind of relationship. Im sure yur ex FB is hurt enough as well. So all the best in your future findings....

Indeed it have taught me many lessons. and those lessons will nvr be forgotten.

Well i think he is more sore than hurt to be able to constantly send me threats and calling me names to a point of even telling me to be an FL and he'll be my first customer. So i think he cant accept tt i ended it. and i dont even wanna be friends w him seeing the kind of person he is.

Thank u for the well wishes. do share ur stories if u have any..

Originally Posted by 1stTR

If it's an agreement beforehand tat either party hav their rite's to call it quit, then jus hav to accept & respect it. Notin is 4ever. It is better to let it go with some good memories still lingering in the mind rather then to makes it turn ugly. Who knos 1 day we may meet again.

Nope. Cos noone knos its relate to me unless she spells out the name.

Do notin. Watever is over is over, whether she shares the truth or the twisted version will no longer bothers me cos it will not easy/change/reverse anytin.

Yup. nothing is forever esp so when we both have our own commitments
from my posts could anyone tell whom i was saying? I highly doubt so.. It is a history of his. as much as it is mine. So i'll cont sharing here despite his objections n nasty remarks..

Thanks alot for the ans..

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by smartke

no sis zacarie, i shld b the one sincerely thk u for sharin ur exp & supportin tis thread instead. the honor is mine!

My greatest pleasure to do so..

Just one request.. Can put some hanyu to the chi phrases or better still maybe change to eng? Haha. pardon my lousy chi... see the words.. i went

[1stTR]

Originally Posted by zacarie

Thanks alot for the ans..

No prob.

[1stTR]

Originally Posted by smartke

bro, dun think u can b any worse than me...

anyway, cont wif ur phase of "菩提本无树，明镜亦非台，本来无一物，何处惹尘埃"

万物皆空，万法皆空，四大皆空，五蕴皆空。人生本无常事，万事物都在变。
所谓，天有不测风云，月有阴晴圆缺。一切随缘.....

bro, noone will be able to understand another person grief or agony no matter hw similar the story is..... Diff pax, diff scene, diff storyline, diff characters, diff response onli wif same ending.... for the content may be same but the level of intensity for the content will nvr be the same. Life is short, dun live in the past. live for the future. Hav a great weekend.

[smartke]

Originally Posted by Apocalypse

Due to my lack of experience, breakup is much harder than getting together, and continuing.

bro Apocalypse, thks again for sharin ur experience. urs quite similar to wat i told in my earlier post.

so, if u hv read the 'story' in my earlier post, K was in wat kind of r/ship? FB? FwB? BGR??? if u ask me, i honestly tell u... I dont know.

then, wif the increasin threads of guys/gers seekin FB, i got very curious & started to wonder wats their perception of the term "FB".

tats y the existence & intention of tis thread is to find out more abt tis "FB" thingy, by gettin ppl's opinion & views. hopefully, more & more ppl will share their exp too... then probably i can understand wat kind of r/ship K has gone into...

anyway, wats in past, already over, hv to move on. K is still single, in his late 30s. it was 1 hell of exp he has gone thru & he has no prior exp too. if he can move on, so can u, or anyone else.

Originally Posted by zacarie

My greatest pleasure to do so..

Just one request.. Can put some hanyu to the chi phrases or better still maybe change to eng? Haha. pardon my lousy chi... see the words.. i went

i will do it separately ok? ^_^

Originally Posted by 1stTR

bro, noone will be able to understand another person grief or agony no matter hw similar the story is..... Diff pax, diff scene, diff storyline, diff characters, diff response onli wif same ending.... for the content may be same but the level of intensity for the content will nvr be the same. Life is short, dun live in the past. live for the future. Hav a great weekend.

great advice bro! esp the last sentence.

my version "Life is short... Work SMART, Play HARD!". lolx...

u hv a wonderful wkend too...

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by cherrignon

Regardless a NSA, FB, FwB or Sex partner, common understanding and view of the parties involved must be aligned.

breaking up should not be a prob for those who have the right understanding. for those who don't: might end up as a psychotic stalking, family wrecking or even suicidal case.

and it does happen (from experience).

IMHO, whatever you call them, it's all about exchanging sex for something; benefits in terms of sexitfaction and in the case of prostitutes, money.

The main differentiation is in the way it's being carry out; the pros does it systematically and as a profession. All the sayings that FB crosses the line and getting involved in r/s are the very same pitfalls tha WL & punters can fall in too. And whoever that plot to cheat the other to get more than just the bargained service is as sinful across the board.

Outside of prostitution, the other categories are ranked higher in the socially acceptable ladder. But really, all these are just silos setup to help the different "class" of people THINK they are of certain "class". At the end of the day, it's sex trade.