My attempt at sharing my experiences...

[mentholfresh]

TS, What!!!???

This is a real dilemma.

Every move/decision you make now is very important.

Think with a clear mind, don't act with rush.

[EnigmaofSorrow]

Jenny did not seem the least bit surprised when I told her of Shirley's unusual request.

Even though it was not explicitly stated, I was pretty sure that Shirley wanted me around so her kid would not grow up without a male figure in his or her life. Or maybe she already knew it was a boy. But wasn't it a little too early to tell the sex of a foetus?

In any case, whatever her intentions were, I was apprehensive of the situation.

What if the father returned? I was pretty sure the cop would be a little more responsible. After all, it was his child.

How would Shirley's parents react? Would they be able to accept a child out of wedlock? Were they even going to return to Singapore? Or was Shirley going back to Australia?

What was Diane doing there? She seemed a little too enthusiastic about convincing me to move back in. Was it all a trap to punish me for the way I treated them?

Moving back did have its merits of course. I would have a proper roof over my head, access to the Internet, someone to talk to etc..

But what would I be getting myself into?

Was I ready to be a father to a child who was not mine? A child who was conceived under circumstances that was indirectly caused by me?

Would I have to marry Shirley so that at least the child would not be illegitimate?

Jenny's point of view was different though.

In her opinion, I was the closest thing to family Shirley had at the point in time. Despite our arguments and history, I would still be the person she would turn to. And, according to Jenny, I am a good person, at heart anyway.

Somehow I sensed that Jenny was a little jealous. She did mention before that she wanted a child of her own, and now that Shirley was having one, maybe it hastened her own biological clock. Furthermore, Shirley would be taking me away from her, assuming I did move back in with her.

Maybe I could be with Shirley for the next 6 years then return to Jenny when the child would be old enough to understand what was going on. At least I would be fulfilling our silly pact. But what if Jenny found someone in the time being? Then I would be all alone again. Not that I crave the companionship, but at some point of everyones life I guess it would be good to have someone.

I applied for 2 days of urgent leave to think things through. My CSM decided not to probe for the reason, but I was pretty sure I would be questioned when I returned.

After dinner with Jenny, we headed down to the beach to chill. She was between jobs so she did not mind hanging out till late. Maybe she was even secretly glad that I would be able to spend time with her.

I guess we both needed to be around someone we cared for at this time.

I was really unsure about my feelings for Shirley now. It still pains me to look back on the good times we shared, and the bad times I would rather forget and wish they never happened.

Could I still be happy with her knowing that she was carrying someone elses child? Even though she did not get pregnant while cheating on me, it still hurt that she wanted me back in her life after all this. It felt like she was settling for second best.

But maybe Jenny was right about me being the closest thing to family. But what about Diane? I really wanted to know why she was suddenly in the picture. Even though our breakup was not nasty, I sensed that she was bearing some sort of ill-will towards me.

Or maybe I was being paranoid.

We sat on the breakwater enjoying the sea breeze in silence till it was almost 3.

J: Hey, I know you're on leave and all that but could we head back? I'm getting really tired.

Me: Sure, I'll send you home.

J: You're staying over right?

Me: Erm. Your parents back yet?

J: Nope. Not sure when they'll be back though. But it's ok. I'm sure they don't mind having you around. Haha.

Me: I still think your dad will kick my ass if he found out about us.

J: Nah. He won't. My mom might though.

Me: Great.

J: Come on la. I'm way past being an adult. And they know I used to have guys in my room.

Me: Well...

J: Stop being wishy-washy. You're on leave anyway. You wanna be and leave but still in camp? Or are you going to be with Shirley?

Me: Frankly I can't convince myself about the whole situation.

J: It's weird all right. Take the time to think about it. Don't let me or anyone influence your decision.

Me: I'm very tired of all of it.

J: Then let's go home. Sleep it off.

Me: Ok.

We headed back to the car and I literally sped back to Jenny's house. After a quick shower, I settled down on the couch but was dragged by Jenny to her room.

J: My beds more comfortable.

I was too tired to disagree.

I felt myself getting slightly aroused by her scent as she snuggled up to me under her blanket. I think she felt it too and pressed her ass onto my groin. I brushed her hair away from her neck and kissed it. She let out a soft moan.

Me: Good night.

J: Night.

[anton]

Originally Posted by anton

She might be in trouble and you're the only one she can turn to.
Hope it is not something like she's pregnant and her bf decided to dump her and left her holding the baby.
Call her already!!!

There are times when it's not good that we guessed right...
This may or may not be one of them in that, it opens the door for you to return to S. Best wishes in whatever you decide.

[SharkAttack]

talk to diane then. Then it'll be love triangle!
Thumbs up for drama unfolding when you least expected it.

[EnigmaofSorrow]

I spent the majority of my leave with Jenny. Merely being around her made me feel comforted. I wondered if she felt that same way.

On Monday night Diane message me to ask if I had decided. I chose not to reply. After all, why was she so interested in whether I moved back in with Shirley? What vested interest did she have in the entire situation?

I continued to enjoy my time spent with Jenny just lazing around the house, watching TV, going for dinner at the coffeeshop. I thought I really felt content with life and could live like this for the rest of it.

And then it came.

A message from Shirley came in close to midnight just as Jenny and I were cuddling in bed.

S: Kor, I have a gynae appt tml, can u bring me? Diane not free.

I showed Jenny the message.

J: Go lor.

Me: What does she think I am?

J: Can you not think of it that way? You're her god-brother and she needs your help.

Me: This is absurd.

J: If I was pregnant and no one was free to bring me to the gynaecologist and I asked you, would you do it?

Me: It's different.

J: It's not. You're being mean.

Me: Maybe I am.

J: You left her all alone when all she wanted was some commitment. Now she needs you and you abandon her? Some god-brother you are.

Me: At this point of time, I like you a lot more. And I'm very happy being with you.

J: That's nice. But you're forgetting a lot of things.

Me: Like?

J: She's special to you to. You probably misplaced those feelings somewhere in that heartless mind of yours. You never know how much she's suffering because of this and you aren't doing anything to help. I thought you were a nice guy.

Me: I really don't like the situation I'm being placed in.

J: Do you remember when I had a high fever and you rushed over and took care of me even though you didn't have to? What happened to that guy?

Me: It's not my child she's carrying.

J: I did not expect you to say that.

Me: Sorry.

J: Stop holding me.

Me: Why.

J: You're a horrible person.

Me: But...

J: After everything you've gone through you still can't find it in yourself to be a better person?

Me: It's still not my child.

Jenny slapped me. Hard.

J: Wake up will you? She's a girl in need. You would help me. She's your god-sister! She gave you a roof over your head! She attended to your needs! You probably had more sex with her than me!

Me: Er.

J: I should have never had sex with you in the first place. And carried on even though you were with her.

Me: It wasn't an exclusive relationship.

J: Can't you see?! She gave you her all and you just took her heart and crushed it! You pushed her to the guy who made her pregnant! You're the cause of everything!

Jenny was pretty worked up by now, and she alternated between crying and hitting me.

Me: Will you stop it?

I grabbed both her hands and pulled her close to me. She was crying uncontrollably by now.

J: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you.

Me: Huh?

J: I thought I was stronger than this. I've been keeping it all inside.

Me: I don't get it.

J: Nevermind.

Then it struck me.

Jenny was probably feeling responsible for what had happened. Coupled with her recent heartbreak, it was probably too much for her to handle.

Me: Do you want me to leave you alone?

J: No.

Me: You sure?

J: Look. I can't explain my feelings for you the same way you can't explain your feelings for her. Now's not the right time for us to be involved in anything deeper than what we currently have. I'm happy with this and I think you are too. But right now I hope you do the right thing and be with the girl who needs your support more than I do.

Me: Sometimes it's not about doing the right thing, but doing things right.

J: That's the same.

Me: I must have phrased it wrongly.

J: Go to her. Please. I'll still be around for you.

Me: Ok. I'll go with her for the appointment.

J: Don't come back to me after that ok? She needs you.

Me: I believe that's my choice.

J: And I believe you'll do the right thing.

[EnigmaofSorrow]

When life decides to fuck you up, you can be certain that you will get fucked up.

Despite my initial reluctance to accompany Shirley to the gynaecologist, I eventually picked her up on that Tuesday morning.

Maybe I felt it was cliched or something, but she had chosen to go to Thomson Medical Center. I told her that I would wait outside when she went for her consultation.

Seriously, I did not know how I would react seeing the foetus on the ultrasound. Thus, it would be best if I stayed outside.

After her appointment we had lunch at this cafe near Thomson Plaza. Shirley was craving for hot chocolate and apparently the one served by that cafe was good.

I had the chicken cutlet with some sort of weird dressing and salad which I could not identify. But I have to admit that it was good.

After lunch I sent her home and made sure she was ok. I checked for groceries and toiletries and other stuff and made a trip to the Giant in Tampines to resupply.

Shirley looked pleased.

Before I left we had a short chat.

S: Kor, thank you for doing this.

Me: Uh huh.

S: Really. I don't know who else I can turn to.

Me: Have you tried contacting the father?

S: Yes. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore...

Me: What?

S: It's my fault really. I didn't track the safe period properly.

Me: He got you pregnant in one attempt?

S: Well, yes.

Me: Impressive.

S: Kor, I know you're angry and disappointed in me and this must be really hard for you.

Me: Why should I be? I was the one who walked out and drove you into his arms anyway. How did you know him?

S: He's a school mate who's been interested in me since sec 1. I never gave him a chance because of you.

Me: And yet you slept with him?

S: Well, he is a nice guy, until he left.

I decided not to ask who she preferred in bed.

Me: You're really gonna keep the baby?

S: Yes. It wouldn't be fair to it.

Me: You don't know if it's a boy or girl?

S: Still too early to tell.

Me: Are you hoping that the father will come back?

S: Yes. But I know that might not be possible. And it wouldn't be fair to
get another guy to be a replacement. But since I'm carry the baby I'll make sure it will grow up happy and have as complete a family as possible. I'll give it everything I possibly can.

Me: Have you told your parents?

S: You mean dad? No. Mom won't care anyway. I think she secretly
hates me cos my dad loved me more than her after I was born.

Me: You seriously can't be thinking that...

S: I believe it's true.

Me: Well you should tell your dad then. Will you be ok alone?

S: Don't worry, Diane comes over quite frequently, but I can't expect her to be around for me all the time. Which is why I wanted you to come back if possible.

Me: I'm still thinking about it.

S: You'll always be welcome here.

Me: Thanks but I'll think about it. Anyway I have to go. Let me know if you need anything else.

S: Thanks for today.

I said goodbye to her and went to my car, speeding all the way to Jenny's house.

As she opened the door, I rushed in and hugged her. She was a
little surprised.

And for the first time in a very long time, I cried.

[LovePotion]

love reading it bro ! (Y) keep up the good job!

[rubberduckygirl]

Originally Posted by EnigmaofSorrow

And for the first time in a very long time, I cried.

a lot of things had been bottled all up to make those tears came flowing.
you are one tough guy.
keep it up, love to read your stories. =)

[sibeiblack]

what an amazing read.
the pregnancy really complicate things.
from what i see. shirley is the special someone. those no one can replace. those that comes once in a lifetime. thus the spot she has deep in your heart.
well for jenny. its like through a long period of contact. you start to get really comfortable with her. like it builds up eventually.
different kind of "love."
well just follow your heart.
hope everything turns up well.
stay strong dude!

[EnigmaofSorrow]

I seriously thought I was stronger than that. But the thought of Shirley carrying someone elses baby, and it being partly my fault, and that I probably had to bring her for her gynae appointments was all too much to bear.

I wondered if it was my retribution.

For the first time, Jenny was the one hugging me, comforting me, stroking my hair and telling me it was going to be ok. I wonder where my tears went all these years.

I did not know how I could bring myself to face Shirley anymore.

I was pretty sure that the pregnancy was unplanned, but not unwanted. She was not the type to terminate the pregnancy just because the father disappeared.

Jenny urged me to move back in with Shirley, so that at least I could take care of her and ease some of the guilt that I was feeling. But I could not. I did not know how I was supposed to look at Shirley everyday as she carried the baby to full term. I did not know if I could
bring myself to take care of her, and the unborn child, as though they were my own.

I half-contemplated searching for the father and making him take responsibility. But I only knew violence, and verbal persuasion, and neither were the answer to this problem. In any case, I doubt it would have worked on a cop anyway. He would probably just arrest me for harassing a public servant.

In the end, I told Shirley I did not feel comfortable moving back just yet, but I did leave her the option of calling me whenever she needed help. I guess that was the least I could do.

I spent another night with Jenny doing nothing. I still cannot explain the feeling of being at ease when we are together.

The weekend passed uneventfully and I went back to work for a single day on the eve of labour day.

Little did I expect the events that would unfold.

I was having lunch with Alex in the canteen, telling him all the stuff that had happened recently. He did offer an alternate listening ear but his advice was the same. That I should go drinking with him. I wondered how many alcoholic regulars there were in the armed forces.

Just as we were clearing our plates, a message came in. It was from Shirley.

S: Kor. I'm bleeding.

At first I paid no attention to it, as what could be so unusual about blood? Didn't it happen every month to a girl?

Then it hit me. Women don't have periods when they are pregnant. I messaged her back.

Me: Be home soon. Half-day today.

I did not get a reply so I assumed maybe she was taking a nap. I don't know why I said I would be home when I had not yet agreed to move back. Maybe it was a natural impulse. Maybe I wanted a home to go home to.

After lunch, Alex and I supervised the mandatory area inspection before our men were allowed to book out for the holiday.

It was almost 2 when I finished packing my stuff and drove out of camp.

I arrived at Shirley's place a leisurely 45 minutes later. I still had not taken the keys from her so I rang the doorbell.

Surprisingly, it was Diane who opened the door.

D: Shhh! You'll wake her.

Me: Right. She sleeps like a pig.

I entered and flopped onto the couch.

D: Well?

Me: Well what?

D: Have you decided?

Me: On?

D: Moving back...

Me: Nope.

D: Why not?

Me: Been busy.

D: Why are delaying?

Me: I'm not.

Diane tossed her keys at me.

D: These belong to you.

I caught them and placed them on the table.

Me: Why are you trying to get us back together?

D: Shirley deserves a good man after all she's been through.

Me: And I'm not such a man.

D: Yes you are. Deep inside you know it. But you refuse to admit it. You stick to your own ideals and principles too much. Be flexible.

I decided to throw her off the hook.

Me: Didn't you want to find out how good or bad I'm in bed?

D: Well, yes.

Me: Then why try so hard to get us back together?

D: I see what you're doing here. And I'm not selfish. She deserves you more than me. She's wanted you for the longest time and yet you gave it all up and led her into this situation.

Me: Ouch.

D: Yeah it better hurt. You caused all this. If not for you Shirley wouldn't be suffering right now. She wouldn't be carrying the child of someone who doesn't deserve her. She wouldn't be crying herself to sleep every night wondering where she went wrong. She wouldn't keep blaming herself for not being patient and understanding with you.

Me: So it's all my fault huh? Then I better leave lest I make things worse.

D: You're a fucking idiot you know?

Me: And so are you for interfering in this.

D: Do you know why she called me?

Me: No.

D: Because she couldn't bring herself to call you herself. She was so torn wondering how to explain the entire situation. She didn't want to get you involved.

Me: And?

D: And she realised that you were the best, and worst thing that happened to her.

Me: What that guy did should be the worst.

D: Fine. Whatever. Have it your way.

I could not resist.

Me: Why are you asking me to go to Burger King?

D: Argh!!!

Diane reached over and tried to slap me. She missed.

D: You think this is funny?

Me: Not really.

D: Then why the fuck are you making jokes?

Me: No idea. Maybe I don't feel the same way about Shirley anymore.

D: It's your fuck buddy right?

Me: We aren't that anymore.

D: Then?

Me: I see things differently now.

D: Can you stand to see Shirley be a single mom? Raise a kid on her own? Your own godsister?

Me: I suppose I'll help out here and there. But that doesn't mean I have to be around all the time.

D: She needs you around. Imagine what people would say if they kept seeing me with her? They would think we're some lesbian couple.

Me: I think only you think that way.

D: What do you think then?

Me: I think the father will come to his senses and come back to her.

D: Fat hope.

Me: Really?

D: Yeah. I tried to talk to him. He blew me off.

Me: He blew you off or you blew him off?

D: Not funny.

Me: Sorry.

D: I've said my piece. The keys are with you now. You make a choice. Goodbye.

And she left me all alone in the house, pondering my next move.

[LoZH]

I love your story, but I think sometimes, u just find the most inappropriate times to say stuffs

[Sen5eS]

Hang in there ... support support !

[Sen5eS]

persuade her to give up the child ... start new ... sorry ... i haven't followed your thread for a while ... just first instinct is to do that ... it's a hard decision either way ...

[EnigmaofSorrow]

I wondered if I should have bought some food back for Shirley, but I did not want to wake her up.

I contemplated lighting up in the house as I usually did but I actually wondered if the second hand smoke was going to harm the baby.

As much as I did not like the situation, Jenny was right. I was the closest thing left to family that Shirley had and I should be the one taking care of her. A part of me still did care, only I did not show it as much as I should.

I grabbed the keys, my wallet and sticks, intending to head to the coffeeshop for a late lunch.

As I exited the lift, I lit a stick and strolled in the general direction of the coffeeshop. My phone rang. It was Jason.

Me: Yo bro, what's up?

J: You free to talk? Can I meet you somewhere?

Me: Where's convenient?

J: Anywhere. I'm driving.

Me: I'm about to have lunch near Shirley's place. You know where that is right?

J: BCM there?

Me: Yeah. But it shifted to a temp area, hawker centre under renovation, and I was thinking of going to the coffeeshop under the blocks for nasi padang.

J: Ok. I'll be there on ten.

Me: So fast?

J: At my gf's place in Tampines now.

Me: Ok. Cya there then.

I wondered what was up. Jason usually did not call me out for chats. It was usually the other way around, or me calling Jenny, or Jenny calling me. In fact the last time Jason and I chatted about stuff other than me banging his sister was when he had relationship troubles. I wondered if it was the case this time. Or maybe Matthew made a police report about our assault on him and we were in deep shit. I received a text.

J: Eat first. I ate already.

So I proceeded to the coffeeshop and ordered random dishes and a kopi-o. Just as I sat down I saw Jason's car driving past and turning into the car park. That was fast. Had he been speeding? If he was then perhaps the matter was more urgent than I expected. He arrived and sat opposite me, ordering a kopi-o as well.

Me: So what's up?

J: My parents are getting divorced.

I almost choked.

Me: What? There didn't seem to be any problems.

J: Yeah. We didn't know either. Apparently they have a gambling problem. My mom worse than my dad. She practically gambled away their retirement fund.

Me: Ok. That's bad.

J: They went to Genting again recently and over the past few months to try to recoup their losses. It didn't really work.

Me: So why the divorce?

J: I don't know. They didn't want to talk about it. But they haven't really been talking to each other since coming back.

Me: Erm. Try marriage counseling?

J: At their age? Nah. I'm letting them make up their own minds about how to live their lives.

Me: So what's the issue now? Can't be custody right? Both you and Jenny are adults.

J: They want to sell the house. And take the money. I'm hoping it's to pay off the debts and not to gamble more.

Me: Then sell it and downgrade la... Why go through a divorce?

J: I don't know and I don't really care.

Me: Where will you stay?

J: I'll rent a place. It's not as if I can't afford it. I applied for a BTO, waiting to see if I can get a queue number.

Me: Wow. You proposed?

J: Kind of. The BTO application should speak volumes right?

Me: I guess so. So what's the problem now?

J: Jenny.

Me: Oh.

It then dawned upon me that Jenny would be homeless, if the sale of the flat went through. She was also jobless, and probably could not afford to rent her own place. Now I saw the gravity of the situation. At least I had a bunk in camp to hide in.

Me: So now what?

J: I can't bring Jenny with me. I'm not that close to her anyway. And I don't know if she'll want to stay with mom or dad after the divorce. If they divorce.

Me: Relatives? Aren't they influential enough to talk some sense into your parents?

J: Hmm let's see, my mom's two brothers are in jail, her sister has cut contact with them. My dad is the only child. I suppose he could move back to his parents...

Me: And Jenny can go along to?

J: Maybe. But they stay in a studio apartment so space is a little tight.

Me: Shirley does have a spare room...

It was Jason's turn to choke.

J: You're kidding right? You wanna ask your ex to rent a room to your fuck buddy?

Me: She's not my fuck buddy anymore...

J: Ever heard the phrase a mountain cannot have two tigers? Or tigresses in this case.

Me: Must be some obscure Chinese idiom.

I wanted to make a joke that they were both dragons, based on the Chinese zodiac, but decided against it.

J: You're really serious?

Me: Partly. Would be easier to keep an eye on both of them...

J: Easier to fuck both of them too.

Me: Seriously, that thought did not cross my mind.

J: And now I've planted the seed of the idea into your head...

Me: Fuck. This isn't Inception.

J: Yeah. It would be conception...

Me: Very funny. But seriously the pros seem to outweigh the cons. When is the sale gonna be completed? And trust you to joke about this...

J: Probably a few months. I'm joking cos I don't give a fuck about what my parents wanna do with their lives. I've already contributed enough and did my part as a son. And I've sacrificed more than my fair share. I never agreed with their gambling habits but thought they would be sensible enough. I even tried the NCPG thing. Didn't work. I've done enough.

Me: NCPG? National Council For Problem Gambling? How about exclusion orders?

J: Tried. They just counter that by going overseas. I'm sick of this shit.

Me: When are you moving out?

J: My essentials are already at my gf's place. Will need help to move the rest. You free to help?

Me: Well, I don't agree with this but yeah. I'll help you move. Just give me a date.

J: I'll let you know. By the way, you moved back here?

Me: Not yet. Still thinking.

J: Well, you've got two girls to take care of. A third life on the way. I'm sorry to dump Jenny on you, but oddly, I don't know who else I can trust now.

Me: Don't worry bro, if the time comes, I'll step up to the challenge.

J: Thanks bro. Owe you a meal

Me: You don't owe me anything. This is what friends are for.

J: Thanks again bro. I'm heading home now to talk to Jenny. Wanna come?

Me: Nah. Not this time. I've got to take care of Shirley for now. Take care bro.

J: You too.

And he left.

As I ate the rest of my meal in silence, I wondered how he could take it so easily. I remembered my own parents divorce. Maybe he really was that much more mature now. I finished my lunch and coffee, lit a stick and headed back to Shirley's place. I wondered how she would react when I decide to tell her all this.

[EnigmaofSorrow]

S: Kor, where are you?

I had barely left the coffeeshop when Shirley messaged.

Me: Coffeeshop walking back.

S: Can buy lunch? Wanton mee. No chili.

Me: Ok. Drinks?

S: Sugar cane with lemon. Thanks Kor.

I u-turned and headed back in the direction of the temporary hawker center.

I returned shortly to find Shirley slouched on the couch watching tv.

S: Hello Kor. Thanks for buying food.

Me: How've you been?

S: Tired, very tired. And bloated. And constipated. And cramping.

Me: That bad?

S: Yeah.

Me: I'll give you a leg massage...

S: Really? You want something in return right?

Me: No.

I went to the kitchen to get a bowl for her noodles.

S: You're willing to give me a massage and not want something in return?

Me: Like what?

S: A blowjob?

I felt a stirring down below.

Me: No I don't want a blowjob. You're pregnant.

S: I didn't offer sex.

Me: It's not right. Besides I'm only here to take care of you. Nothing more.

S: Oh.

She looked a little disappointed.

Me: Anyway I don't think we'll be able to be back to what we were before. And I wasn't very fair to you either. But now that you need me, I'll be around for you. As your brother.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

S: Kor. You finally woken up. And I'm sorry too that the situation has to be like this. But I don't think I can bring myself to kill the baby.

Me: And I'm not asking you to. I just want to know that you'll be ok.

S: I'll be ok as long as you're around. We don't have to go back to the way we were before.

Me: I'm glad you understand. Now please eat your lunch before it gets cold.

I massaged her feet and calves while she ate. They felt swollen. Water-retention probably.

S: Kor, that feels so good. Where did you learn it?

Me: I didn't.

S: Kor, why didn't you treat me like this then?

Me: I don't know. I was always a bad guy. I never thought I could be a good one.

S: You're nice at times. Your girlfriend must be very happy.

Me: Don't have one.

S: Did you treat your fuck buddy well?

Me: Erm.

S: You can tell me. I'm over it. I want you to be happy too.

Me: You sure?

S: Yes.

Me: I guess I treated her better then I treated you. Maybe because there was no emotional attachment.

S: Yeah, Diane did mention something about you being afraid of commitment.

Me: Uh huh.

S: So why didn't you go all the way with Diane?

Me: It didn't feel right. And I wanted to be a better person.

S: Are you?

Me: I don't know. I feel different. I look at things differently now.

S: And you're willing to take care of me despite this not being your child?

Me: I'm your brother. I will take care of you no matter what. What happened previously was a mistake. I won't make the same mistakes again.

S: You're a really strange person, you know.

Me: Yeah.

S: So you're single now?

Me: I guess.

S: Not gonna get attached?

Me: Don't think so.

S: Why not?

Me: I think it's not the time.

S: Ok. I'll stop probing. I just want you to be happy too.

Me: I'm happy. Are you?

S: I think so. Isn't the path to motherhood a thing to be happy about?

Me: No idea. Never been a mother.

S: Haha. Very funny. Can you do my shoulders and neck too?

Me: Sure. After you're done eating.

S: Kor, you seem troubled. Is there anything you want to tell me?

Me: Actually yes. But I don't think it's the right time.

She put down the bowl and I moved behind her to massage her neck and shoulders.

S: Just say it.

I ignored her and continued massaging her neck. Suddenly she moaned.

S: Oops.

Me: That sounded rather sexual.

S: It does feel good.

Me: Right.

S: Really. You're damn good at this. It's making me horny.

Me: What?

S: It's a hormonal thing. Pregnant women get horny.

Me: Well keep your hormones in check then.

S: So are you gonna tell me what's on your mind?

Me: Not really.

S: Tell me or I'll keep bugging you.

I sighed.

Me: Ok. But promise you won't get upset.

S: Ok.

And I proceeded to tell her about Jason's problems and the proposed solution.