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  #676  
Old 20-08-2014, 12:29 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Dear bro,

Last time u wrote was in april. Now its august... Its been sometimes now.

Can i share something? Not sex experience but the rivalry between sisters. I have 2 sisters, plus me, makes 3 daughters. I am the eldest, but i have the best features i.e. the tallest the lankiest the smartest. My younger sis has the best look very pretty but she is shorter than me and more skeletal and the youngest sister has the largest boobs but more on the plump side. After graduate uni i went to join an airliner far away from home. In another country and my younger sister went to states to cont her paper quali. The youngest being the youngest stays here. We led our life as sisters.. Loving ourselves as siblings until all my sisters start working that i learned of my second sister sense of rivalry against me and i learned it from my youngest sister. No wonder that when she went to the states she took the same course that i took, only that she didnt finish her degree because bz with her boyfriend. As she didnt finish her degree, she came back here and applied as cabin crew in a neighbouring country. Though i was a stewardess, but i did not live the lifestyle. I did not have random sex and i did not go partying.. I just work because the money is good. I m quite conservative in a way. And whenever we get to gather together we will talk about our lives in the airlines industry but i always dont have much to share as i only fly and go sightseeing and shopping. Yes i have suitors from all walks of life from every layovers and some passengers but as i am conservative i m saving myself for mr right. My sister on the other hand.. Was enjoying her life more than i do with men from all walks of life. And she told us all about them.

I hv never thot that my sister was looking at me as her rival. I always thot she adored me and that i was her idol. One day i went shopping with my youngest sister that i saw a Dior handbag latest collection that really captured my eyes. It was tagged at $8k. I was contemplating wheather to buy it or not. But my heart was already lusting for it. When i asked the SA to help me as i want to inspect it on me, my youngest sister said, wow! Are you gonna get it? G will be envious. And she just said it nonchalantly. I frowned at her words and told the SA i'm not into it now. Said sorry to him and pulled my sis elbow's to a nearby cafe. We sat down ordered our drinks and i asked her what did she mean when she said that about G being envious?

Then A, lets call my youngest sister A. A told me the things G been telling her. That whenver somebody of our frens or our relatives said something nice about me, G wants to have that credit too. But she just didnt have the flair. So whatever i do, she will try her level best to be better than me.

That input shocked me. And my mind jogged to the passing years.. That i realised why she took the course i took for degree, why she became stewasdess, why she always take my dress.. For the obvious reason our mother always said that i hve the eyes for fashion that whatever i picked will look nice. Not just what i picked for me, even if i picked for somebody else.. Whoever i picked the dress for will always received compliments. That is the exact words from my mom and my cousin concured her.

So. Cut the story short, i found my mr right. I gave my life to him until today. When G first met my mr right, my mr right did make a remark. He said, whats with your sister? She is all over me as if i hv known her for long. I just smiled at him and said, maybe she is excited to have you as her bro in law.

So we got married. And i stayed in a coccoon with my mr right giving him TLC. I thot that will be the end of sister rivalry. But heck no. G enjoying her bachelor years kept asking for my intimate juicy stories with my husband as an exchange of her juicy stories. Of course i told her none and she kept on pouring her stories to me. I just let it goes from right and exit left off my ears. But certain details got stucked in my mind though.

Until few years when she found her mr right. That she finally stopped her partying.. And of course her mr right must be somewhat better than mine

She found someone who is wealthy (i did not say wealthier), handsome and party goers like her. He seemed to be a nice person down to earth so we cheers and accept him into the family. By then, G also quit flying.

Somehow, G's mr right is not that right. After 2 years, they were getting a divorce. It was at this time that G seeked solace from my husband. Telling her stories and asking him if she cud join him on a business venture. At first she made my husband promised her not to tell me about the biz venture. I learned about it from A. I confronted my husband and he said its just business, and he thot it was not important to tell as he has a lot biz ventures and he didnt tell me each and every venture to me.

I asked him further if he knows about the divorce and he said yes G told him. And that G wanted to venture in the business to secure herself now that she will be on her own.

And so i told my husband, i do not trust G. if he wants to proceed with the biz venture with her, i told him go ahead but release me. I gave him 2 words. Me or my sister.

So than, my husband met G and told her sorry.. He decided not to proceed as he has other bigger project coming in and he wanted to pull all his resources into that project.

Since then, G started to be of a distant from me. And avoided a lot of family functions if i were to be around. And latter i found out from mom and A that G said many bitter things about my husband and i. The thing is, everything she said is not true and my husband is starting to believe me now.

Until today she outcast me. I hve never put benchmark as no one shud surpass this mark. I hv never in my heart want to compete with anyone, let alone my own sister. So.. I guess until she will reach the level above me will she come back. I didnt do this to her. She did it to herself.

So, when i read about you and J and your wife and that J said she may have infatuation towards you since you r nice to her sister, it may also ge due to sisters rivalry. She said eversince their father died, she dint get manly assistance in the house, and she had to do dads job because shes the tallest.. To me sounds like my sis G, only that it was not obvious in J because she was still in uni when it all happened to u.

I wud think, now that her sister is divorcing you, she will not find you attractive. I think. I maybe wrong. I dunno.

But anyway, i wish you all the best dear brother. If u think this is all karma, then perhaps make a pledge to be better in the future. Good luck!
  #677  
Old 20-08-2014, 01:01 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawning View Post
Dear bro,

Last time u wrote was in april. Now its august... Its been sometimes now.
If you have a clear heart and there isn't anything can break u..
  #678  
Old 20-08-2014, 01:10 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Quote:
Originally Posted by SGman73 View Post
If you have a clear heart and there isn't anything can break u..
Meaning?












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  #679  
Old 20-08-2014, 03:13 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

A really nice story, keep it coming bro!
  #680  
Old 20-08-2014, 04:21 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

camping for more
  #681  
Old 21-08-2014, 06:27 AM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Shawning,
So what do u intend to do to bring ur sis back?

Any idea?

I always wonder y got siblings rivalry?
I rather my siblings be better than me, than b lousy n give troubles
Might even b an asset to me...

Welll.... Strange things in life..
  #682  
Old 21-08-2014, 07:58 AM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Quote:
Originally Posted by firejalan View Post
Shawning,
So what do u intend to do to bring ur sis back?

Any idea?

I always wonder y got siblings rivalry?
I rather my siblings be better than me, than b lousy n give troubles
Might even b an asset to me...

Welll.... Strange things in life..
I dont really know. It is not something i can't change in her. I hv all the while laid low so that she wudnt think i hv more or triggered anything that wud make her feels i m competing with her. Even when i got married, i didnt flaunt my wedding ring and i had only 0.8 carat hearts on fire as opposed to her, she has to have more 1.5 c tiffany. *sigh* imagine competing to such degree, even not competing i feel tired. But my husband on the other hand.. doesnt give a shit to how she thinks or feels. My husband loves to treat me with gifts and presents. These become such a pain to her as her husband spent money more on partying and dresses for.her to dolled up for clubbings. So this different lifestyle is already not a competition. But she didnt see it that way.

Thus, i do not know. What am i to do? The only thing than maybe ii migrate. Stay away so that we can live our lives privately. But with facebook and all.. whom are we try to kid?

You get me?
  #683  
Old 21-08-2014, 08:38 AM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Quote:
Originally Posted by firejalan View Post
Shawning,
So what do u intend to do to bring ur sis back?

Any idea?

I always wonder y got siblings rivalry?
I rather my siblings be better than me, than b lousy n give troubles
Might even b an asset to me...

Welll.... Strange things in life..
I dont really know. It is not something i can change in her. I hv all the while laid low so that she wudnt think i hv more or triggered anything that wud make her feels i m competing with her. Even when i got married, i didnt flaunt my wedding ring and i had only 0.8 carat hearts on fire as opposed to her, she has to have more 1.5 c tiffany. *sigh* imagine competing to such degree, even not competing i feel tired. But my husband on the other hand.. doesnt give a shit to how she thinks or feels. My husband loves to treat me with gifts and presents. These become such a pain to her as her husband spent money more on partying and dresses for.her to dolled up for clubbings. So this different lifestyle is already not a competition. But she didnt see it that way.

Thus, i do not know. What am i to do? The only thing than maybe ii migrate. Stay away so that we can live our lives privately. But with facebook and all.. whom are we try to kid?

You get me?
  #684  
Old 21-08-2014, 04:00 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Thanks for sharing.

  #685  
Old 21-08-2014, 10:51 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawning View Post
But my husband on the other hand.. doesnt give a shit to how she thinks or feels.
I think u need to adopt ur husband attitude..
Then ur life will b better...
Try it...
  #686  
Old 22-08-2014, 05:34 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Quote:
Originally Posted by firejalan View Post
I think u need to adopt ur husband attitude..
Then ur life will b better...
Try it...
Its pretty messy now that some of our aunts and uncles are buying her stories. I m lucky that my mom and sis A now knows the truth.

Somehow it hurts but i believe someday ppl will learn the truth. So with that i just let it flow. I m not bothered to defend myself. I just concentrate on my husband and kids. and ppl who loves me <3
  #687  
Old 22-08-2014, 06:07 PM
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Angry Re: my affair with my sis in law

Anyway, how i relate to the story of our brother here is through the simptoms that is similar between J and my sister G.

That J confessed she wished her boyfren to be more like her bil. And how she was impressed when her bro in law brought 60 roses for her sister. She never seen so much roses and along with other things that our bro here did that made J wished to have someone like him. She secretly wished for what her sister has. That explains why she purposely touched his bro in law down there when they were on the motorbike. I relate to that because my sister kept asking me how do i service my husband. What i do to him and how he handled me. Of course i wudnt tell. Thats my secret. There was once, she told me and A about her boyfrens dick. How big and long it was and that she liked to do this and that. I mean come on.. yes we are sisters but i m not interested in ur boyfren. So keep that information for yourself. So at that time, yes, it crossed my mind that she is curious about my love life. She wants to know how its like to have sex with my husband. And at times it was almost obvious that she thinks, what i can do to my husband, she can do better..and i think that is why J did what she did to her bro in law. She wants to know, she wants to feel what her sister gets from her husband.

And.. why did she send the letter for break-off?
For the simple reason she realized, though she can beat her sister in the attention her bro in law is giving her. The fact that she can have sex with him and now taste what her sister ia getting from him.. even getting him to think that he loves her. Remember, girls use sex to get love. Boys use love to get sex. But anyway, there are major things she cannot beat her. Like making decision on the colour of the car her bro in law is buying. And that she cannot pick him up from the airport because her sister is coming to pick him up. From there she knows she cannot beat her sister. And for that pain, she shut herself from him. She is suffering from the pain of defeat and the pain of facing the reality that what she wants will never become reality. If.. if only,,our bro here, managed to manipulate his wife's wish of black car and follow Js preference for white car and if he again, find excuse from the wife to not pick him up from the airport and not to go on the road trip and fulfil Js wish, i m pretty sure J wont end the relationship yet. But then, this is just my theory. Based on my experience with my sister G. Only that i managed to stop things from going into that direction. I m sure had i not learned of Gs feeling against me from A, i might believe it is perfectly alright for my husband and G to go out together and go business trips overseas.
  #688  
Old 24-08-2014, 12:19 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Shawning sis,

Thanks for sharing your life in here. You have brought a wholesome right-angle perspective to this award-winning story. Sibling rivalry has been an age-old psychological disorder, prevalent in every society. Usually originating from young age, from constant praising of a particular sibling by parents or teachers or other relatives, it makes the other sibling feel inferior and competitive for the much needed attention. Sometimes this happens behind your back, aka gossip, which stokes the hatred even more. As the siblings grew older, the competition expands from comparing wealth, spouses and in your case, is radically going all out to ruin each other's perfect lifestyle. Only upon seeing you in a major downfall, your sis will feel achieved, which is in fact cruel.

I applaud you for taking the approach to distant from her. With time, when she has found a new avenue to redirect her competitiveness complex, I'm sure you gals will work things out again. Cheers.
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Old 25-08-2014, 12:51 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Quote:
Originally Posted by seowlang View Post
I didnt cry after reading the letter, i wept.

tears flowed freely.. i was an emotional trainwreck. Afraid my sleeping wife could hear me, I left the house. I went to my car and wanted to go somewhere but didnt know where to go. In the end, i just drove to the top level of the multi storey carpark. I felt some much like texting J but decided against it to respect her decision. I am damn sure she was crying at home too..

My mind was working like a DVD player... everything that happened between J and I started flashing in my mind.. except that the timing of the events were not in sequence.. bits and pieces were all jumbled up..

Cowardly suicide thought flashed across my mind for just a brief moment that night. But knowing how incapable J is of handling her emotions, what if she commits suicide as well? Or even worse, what if my normally rational and pragmatic wife, at the spur of the moment, commits suicide and J follow too out of guilt after that bcos she lost her BIL and sister? I couldnt do it.. i couldnt risk any of those scenarios.. that night was extremely chilling and being alone in such a state just made me even more alone.. it was perhaps the lowest point of my life i guess..

i dont know what time i went home that night except that its very late already. That Sunday was equally awful. i just wanted to get out of the house to avoid letting my wife see me in such a state. i was thinking about J all the time, how she is coping with the situ.

When i left the house, I wanted to call ah Keong but decided this simpleton wouldnt know what im talking about even if i were to pour my heart out and told him everything. I was even more tempted to call a very close female friend of mine, one whom i have known for a long time. Just for the record, she is a very attractive looking lady and i have fantasized about her too.. but never ever once have i touched her in a sexual manner, even when we were drunk together many times before we were married. some friendships are too dear for me to risk giving my small head even a chance to think. But i hesitated.. how would she think of me? even thought we share very intimate secrets (till today) but humping my sister in law is so wrong and inhumane. would she even see me in the same light again? i was afraid to be judged by one of my best friend. in the end, i decided not to call anyone..

i knew i wouldnt be able to perform at work and took urgent leave for the next 2 days. my wife knows im not a person that will take leave out of a sudden without a reason so i didnt tell her i was on leave and chose to pretend and dress up for work for those 2 days. I drove to my workplace in town and just sat in a coffeehouse, completely dazed. my mind must have overworked for the last 48 hours. i was staring blankly at passerbys, occasionally tearing and of cos quickly wiping it off before anyone saw it. when i returned to work after that, i was still not in the right frame of mind. by Friday morning i couldnt take the wait anymore.. i had to meet J and asked for her to give me a chance to talk it out. I sms her to arrange for a meetup and the reply was a no. after several exchanges, she finally agreed to msn me. (i am sure J blocked me from msn as that day was the first time i saw her online after the email.)

I: can we only talk on msn?
J: i know i will cry if i see u face to face.
I: r u ok?
J: im fine dont worry.

she went on again thanking me about what i have done for her and all.. but i just wanted to be doubly sure those reasons she gave on the emails were the only reasons. i asked if she has a boyfriend but she replied no.

I: i respect yr decision. i just want to tell u that the past months had been one of the best times of my life. and i want u to know that it was spent with u. thanks for everything. i really only have one request.
J: what is that?
I: can u pls treat me like before? of cos i know it takes time.. and that i will give u. i just want to be like what we were in the past. i want to enjoy going back to your place on fridays and we spend time together.
J: i'll try.

with that, the chat ended. we said our goodbyes like lovers do for the last time. somehow the last line of her message to me just appeared in my mind again and again immediately after that.

quote
We may not have a chance to be together this live but if people do get reincarnated, I want to marry you and be with you in all our future lives… for better or for worse… I love you.
unquote

I couldnt help having tears welling up in my eyes again.

Have u guys/girls even been so busy in a relationship with activities and things to do together, only to find yourself very free and not knowing what to do when the relationship is off? i was in that situation. not wanting to call anyone and not knowing what to do, pubs near my office became my home after work for at least 4-5 months. i sat alone and drink.. almost singing our favorite song everyday, ai heng jian dan.

I remember when i was in my teens and early twenties, i do see uncles (i use to label those in their 30s or 40s as uncles) sitting alone with a bottle and singing occasionally. i would often comment to my friends: "wah, see that uncle.. very cham.. no friend and everytime come here alone. but knn, he is rich.. everyday can see him open a bottle."

Now, i was that uncle. its funny how life can be so ironic... seriously... So, in case there are some young readers here reading this...

Yes, uncles are often alone bcos they have big problems which they sometimes cannot share with anyone. its not that they do not have friends. and oh yes, financially they are much more stable after working so many years so opening bottles is not such a burden to the pocket. they dont need to wait till birthdays to open a bottle. i have been there, done that, guys and girls. pls dont laugh or make fun of uncles. they can be quite pitiful u know???

So, here ends the story of me.. the happiest and the saddest part of my life.. it took a month to tell all these.. i would sincerely like to thank all readers. i accept all comments and criticisms and if i look back at this thread i was never once sore about negative comments. well except for a certain Realestateguy. i think u guys know him better than i do since im new in this forum.

last but not least, i really appreciate those who offered to want to meet me. prolly the skeleton in my closet is so big that i dont have the balls to meet ppl here. pardon me.. i would really love to meet u. from the bottom of my heart. So, one day, maybe just one day, i can muster enough courage to call u out for coffee or maybe something stronger? i already had a bro who told me that his offer to meet me will stand till im ready. I am very touched bro. u know who u r. cheers and all the best to u.

signing out for now,
Seowlang
bro, am truly touched by your story. as much as truth hurts, i guess it is the reality we have to face. i admire you for who you are, daring to do what you did. when i read the letter from J and with the song played in the background, i can feel the sadness, though i must say i don't know how hard it must have been for the both of you.

i tragically lost my 1st love in an accident, and i was almost involved with her sis back then, as she was always there for me. and of course, being the sister to my late gf, we had almost the same situation you had with J. in the end, i received a similar letter from her too, stating that it isn't real and we've both been living a life that isn't meant for us.

back then, i really do not understand what she meant. her sis wasn't around anymore, and we're both single back then. but now, i guess i see the angle she was coming from. being involved with someone who was attached to your family member, no matter what has happened, it will still be a scar.

reading your story brings back lots of memories, but the letter brought me to wept without me knowing. and the sudden pierce to my heart, realizing the one true love i longed for, passed on without me having a chance to rebuild it.

now she's no longer here with me. moved over to SG and left me with nth but just memories, memories that i tried very hard to bury deep in my self. i guess some memories are just hard to be ridden of.

thanks again bro for the wonderful story.
  #690  
Old 25-08-2014, 07:46 PM
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Re: my affair with my sis in law

Dear Shawning

I understand your hurt, in a different way I have experienced what you are going through. I am sad that it is so prevalent.

Moving overseas is definitely not the answer. Leaving her alone, avoid her at all cost, is. As for FaceBook and other social media sites, you can always restrict her post from being shown on your page, if you are able to stay "cordial", or just unfriend her and set your setting to restrict non-friends from accessing your page and posts, if you want to be blunt.

Live your life to the fullest for yourself and your family and, come what may, be totally content and at peace with yourself. Slowly slowly you will heal the hurt.

Good Luck, Good Life, Good Health (especially mental health), and Good Riddance to your sister.
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