Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by see see only

Wahaaha ... of cos easy for you to say such things la .... you sure no problem, for such a mature man like you bro

U today nothing to do?? So free? Go n disturb other thread.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by naemlo

There are definitely good Vietnamese gers in Vietnam. Whether sucking vampires or not, all depends on luck. The only problem for sure, distance relationship is always difficult, cos you dunno what she doing when you are not around and this makes you guessing and sometime a lot misunderstanding.

You have nothing to lose except time. All couples go thru time and relationship to know each other more.

I agree distance relationship is not easy to maintain. Initially I have a lot of queries and doubts. Time will tell everything... TRUST is important.

I gone thru this for 4 years already and still going on. Distance will be longer in a few months time. Time zone also different.

[hottip]

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

... He basically stereotype all Vietnamese girls as sao nhieu nhieu and out for your money. Even when we went over to HCM, he treats the girl there the same way as he treats the WLs here.....

First thing to understand is that the girls dun come to Singapore for a holiday. They are here for work. They paid alot of money to come over ... passports, contacts (there seems to always be an agent who is sucking out on them), airfares, housing costs, .... So they have to make quite a bit just to cover costs.
At the first level, they go to JC to hug the boys (even those with bad breath and BO) and make S$20-40 x 2-4 guys a nite. About 80-60% goes to cover cost. So only if they are really hardworking and hug 3-4 clients a night, they actually do not make that much. Maybe not even worth the trip over unless thay find someone like Bro KT as a KC. Sometimes they dun feel well enough to go to work so the day's earnings is shot, even though the costs continue to incur. The big bucks comes when they go 'hotel' with their clients. This is relatively easy money, and although many come with no intentions to do it, sooner or later the temptation gets to be overwhelming when they see their friends flounting the money, and they give in.

[QUOTE=dodgyboi69;4751482]... Do the Girls in Vietnam behave the same way as the one in singapore? And do all the girls(including the non WLs) over there are money sucking vampires? ....[QUOTE]...

So, need to understand that there is a specific profile to begin with the JC girls. Same as the PRC MMs, but the intensity and speed of the PRC MMs efforts is at least 100% more than the Viet girls. You have not met vampires until you get involved with PRC girls - "Wo Ai Ni" but 99% of the time, it is purely business "Qin Ai de"("My Darling").

[QUOTE=dodgyboi69;4751482]... I frequent HCM. I go there almost every month. Not to cheong but just to chill
relax and unwind from work. I just love and adore HCM. it's so laid back! Few months back, I met a girl at the bar that I frequent. It's a clean joint. I know almost everyone there. She's a SYT. .....QUOTE]

For some reason, I kinda like VN too. I have very quickly observed in country that we can't stereotype the VN girl with the JC profile. I have been fortunate to meet a reasonably wide cross section through different activities. Those in HBT bars may be likened to JC types and I have observed, perhaps even more aggressive. They seemed to be quite hardcore and hardened, even the innocent looking SYTs. Unless you are equal in experience and skill, they will sure have your lunch b4 you can say breakfast.

Then, there are the others: Most whom I have met are very lovely, and hard working and some even work two jobs to help their families. Even those in the Salons. They are sweet and with much more concience than PRC MMs. Although PRC MMs are more ready to be wild and have fun, as long as there is money in the equation. I must say that PRC MMs are very practical about the economics of sex.

As I have said before, if one finds a good girl in VN, and I am sure there are many, I think the experience could be quite satisfying (and also sextifying).
But, above all this, we must be aware of the strong family influence "How much $$ did you bring back today"..

Good luck.

[dodgyboi69]

Originally Posted by naemlo

There are definitely good Vietnamese gers in Vietnam. Whether sucking vampires or not, all depends on luck. The only problem for sure, distance relationship is always difficult, cos you dunno what she doing when you are not around and this makes you guessing and sometime a lot misunderstanding.



You have nothing to lose except time. All couples go thru time and relationship to know each other more.

thanks for input brother.
Yeap. Long distance relationship is always difficult. And having a relationship with someone who is of a different culture from yours is another obstacle. And don even let me start about language barriers when both of us are lost in translation most of the time. But the funny thing is that we seem to understand each other. I don know how but both have some kind of understanding. Misunderstanding is inevitable. We even had this arguement about me trying to understand her. I understand that family is the most impt thing but the thing that I don understand is that why is she so affected with the small small things like brother lost handphone or sister not doin well in school?

At times I feel that she is playing me lor cos getting affected by these things are quite absurd to me. Maybe it's in their culture..

[dodgyboi69]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

I agree distance relationship is not easy to maintain. Initially I have a lot of queries and doubts. Time will tell everything... TRUST is important.

I gone thru this for 4 years already and still going on. Distance will be longer in a few months time. Time zone also different.

Whoa! 4 years! How do you keep the relationship going? You keep going to hcm every other month? How bout the language and cultural differences? How do you tackle all those problem?

Trust, how do you know that she's after your love and not your money?

[dodgyboi69]

[QUOTE=hottip;4752219]First thing to understand is that the girls dun come to Singapore for a holiday. They are here for work. They paid alot of money to come over ... passports, contacts (there seems to always be an agent who is sucking out on them), airfares, housing costs, .... So they have to make quite a bit just to cover costs.
At the first level, they go to JC to hug the boys (even those with bad breath and BO) and make S$20-40 x 2-4 guys a nite. About 80-60% goes to cover cost. So only if they are really hardworking and hug 3-4 clients a night, they actually do not make that much. Maybe not even worth the trip over unless thay find someone like Bro KT as a KC. Sometimes they dun feel well enough to go to work so the day's earnings is shot, even though the costs continue to incur. The big bucks comes when they go 'hotel' with their clients. This is relatively easy money, and although many come with no intentions to do it, sooner or later the temptation gets to be overwhelming when they see their friends flounting the money, and they give in.

[QUOTE=dodgyboi69;4751482]... Do the Girls in Vietnam behave the same way as the one in singapore? And do all the girls(including the non WLs) over there are money sucking vampires? ....[QUOTE]...

So, need to understand that there is a specific profile to begin with the JC girls. Same as the PRC MMs, but the intensity and speed of the PRC MMs efforts is at least 100% more than the Viet girls. You have not met vampires until you get involved with PRC girls - "Wo Ai Ni" but 99% of the time, it is purely business "Qin Ai de"("My Darling").

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

... I frequent HCM. I go there almost every month. Not to cheong but just to chill
relax and unwind from work. I just love and adore HCM. it's so laid back! Few months back, I met a girl at the bar that I frequent. It's a clean joint. I know almost everyone there. She's a SYT. .....QUOTE]

For some reason, I kinda like VN too. I have very quickly observed in country that we can't stereotype the VN girl with the JC profile. I have been fortunate to meet a reasonably wide cross section through different activities. Those in HBT bars may be likened to JC types and I have observed, perhaps even more aggressive. They seemed to be quite hardcore and hardened, even the innocent looking SYTs. Unless you are equal in experience and skill, they will sure have your lunch b4 you can say breakfast.

Then, there are the others: Most whom I have met are very lovely, and hard working and some even work two jobs to help their families. Even those in the Salons. They are sweet and with much more concience than PRC MMs. Although PRC MMs are more ready to be wild and have fun, as long as there is money in the equation. I must say that PRC MMs are very practical about the economics of sex.

As I have said before, if one finds a good girl in VN, and I am sure there are many, I think the experience could be quite satisfying (and also sextifying).
But, above all this, we must be aware of the strong family influence "How much $$ did you bring back today"..

Good luck.

Hi bro.

Thanks for your input man.
Really appreciate it.

Yes, I do agree with you that JC girls and non WL Vietnamese girls can not be put into the same category. It kinds of pisses me off when my people stereotype them as money sucking vampires and look at them as if they're just a piece of meat thus not respecting them as a lady..

I just want to know how to identify between a good seed or a bad seed. J just don want to waste my time and effort into a lady only to find out that she is a bad seed!

Personally, I think she's a gem.
The only thing that bothers me is that she doesn't really reply to my Random "how are you? I miss you" SMS.
She will take about a day to do that.
She'll SMS me like once in every 3 or 4 days.
I was thinking that maybe it's expensive for her to SMS me every night since she only earns like 3 to 4 mil VND a month and still have to support family.

Should I invest time and effort in her?

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

Hi all..
I frequent HCM. I go there almost every month. Not to cheong but just to chill
relax and unwind from work. I just love and adore HCM. it's so laid back! Few months back, I met a girl at the bar that I frequent. It's a clean joint. I know almost everyone there. She's a SYT. We went out quite a bit on my following visits to HCM and always keep in contact via SMS or emails. She never asks me for money or anything. I will only pay for her meals when I asked her out. And at times, she would pay for mine! She looks like a good wife material. I've already to her of my intentions of making her my gf but she said that it's not a good time. She said that she need to settle some of her family problems. And she's afraid that she go no time for me. I understand and take things slowly. I feel that she is very wary of me. Maybe she thinks that all I want is sex or want her to be my sexcapade everytime I come to hcm. Now, we're starting to communicate better. She's starting to open up and I'm starting to understand her further. The thing is that I don't really know if she's a good girl or she's just buttering me up and just waiting to go for the kll and suck all my money as what my friends would say. I need some help and advise here, my Viet bros. Maybe some wise words from Bro Singviet and from the Legendary Bro Hurricane.

Wow...I din know when I became a legend...

Bro hottip had nicely written the part on WL in Sin which I have nothing more to add...written enough on those which I got bored...

I had written before that there are very nice decent gal in HCM...who are definitely wifey material...things that local Sin gal will never do anymore...but Vn gal still does them to their spouse and bf...example Bro SingViet wife cleaning him up during his illness...peeling off prawn shell and feeding you to your fill before they start eating...best you can experience them yourself...

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

Misunderstanding is inevitable. We even had this arguement about me trying to understand her. I understand that family is the most impt thing but the thing that I don understand is that why is she so affected with the small small things like brother lost handphone or sister not doin well in school?

At times I feel that she is playing me lor cos getting affected by these things are quite absurd to me. Maybe it's in their culture..

hahaha...welcome to the TV lovers club...this is where Sin men will never understand the Vn culture...here Vn gals are the one to bring the money back for family...yes...not the Vn men...this can be hard to accept...but this shows how filial the gals can be to their parents...

[ykhttq]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

My galfriend was also my driving force to learn TV. But now I always practice it with other viet gals in JC/GL....

It is good that there is a motivational factor for you to learn TV. But as what TS always suggested...make sure your galfriend also pick up our langauge.

My gf is trying to learn Mandarin and English though I asked her to first concentrate on Mandarin. Reason is I'm planning to bring her over here for a visit to meet my parents who can't speak English. I hope they can communicate to understand each other better esp when I'm away for work.

I do agree that long-dist relationship is difficult; having to maintain the trust as well as not being 'distracted' are some of the issues we will face. Having to keep in contact via phone is not cheap too. Having to work and thus only able to visit her once a couple of months, it is a drain financially, physically and mentally.

[haha_123]

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

thanks for input brother.
Yeap. Long distance relationship is always difficult. And having a relationship with someone who is of a different culture from yours is another obstacle. And don even let me start about language barriers when both of us are lost in translation most of the time. But the funny thing is that we seem to understand each other. I don know how but both have some kind of understanding. Misunderstanding is inevitable. We even had this arguement about me trying to understand her. I understand that family is the most impt thing but the thing that I don understand is that why is she so affected with the small small things like brother lost handphone or sister not doin well in school?

At times I feel that she is playing me lor cos getting affected by these things are quite absurd to me. Maybe it's in their culture..

It's true that Vn gals place their family as their No. 1 priority, and sometimes I get jealous when my bx pay more attention to her parents, sister or nephews than me. But I just take it as being part of their culture.

During my last visit to HCMC, another girl called me on my mobile while I was having dinner with my bx. My bx immediately grabbed my phone and told the other gal to stop calling me again. After that event, my bx will always check my handphone for messages and calls. She even hold on to my phone so that when my phone rings, she'll be the first one to pick up and to know the caller is a boy or girl. I must say that I felt a little proud that my bx cling on to me so tightly like she's afraid that she'll lose me to other girls. It also made me very reluctant to 'steal eat' ala Uncle Jack.

She even told me that she have many spies in HCMC and told me specifically not to try anything funny behind her back...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by hottip

Maybe not even worth the trip over unless thay find someone like Bro KT as a KC.

why they find someone like me then its worth the trip? Khong hieu..
I believe you should saying find someone like VK... the CASH KING.
I xao nhieu nhieu...

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

At times I feel that she is playing me lor cos getting affected by these things are quite absurd to me. Maybe it's in their culture..

If she is good, understand her and build the TRUST for each other.

[dodgyboi69]

Originally Posted by haha_123

It's true that Vn gals place their family as their No. 1 priority, and sometimes I get jealous when my bx pay more attention to her parents, sister or nephews than me. But I just take it as being part of their culture.

During my last visit to HCMC, another girl called me on my mobile while I was having dinner with my bx. My bx immediately grabbed my phone and told the other gal to stop calling me again. After that event, my bx will always check my handphone for messages and calls. She even hold on to my phone so that when my phone rings, she'll be the first one to pick up and to know the caller is a boy or girl. I must say that I felt a little proud that my bx cling on to me so tightly like she's afraid that she'll lose me to other girls. It also made me very reluctant to 'steal eat' ala Uncle Jack.

She even told me that she have many spies in HCMC and told me specifically not to try anything funny behind her back...

Brilliant input, bro haha..

I totally agree with you rgarding the jealously thingy. I have a friend who is married to a Vietnamese woman. He was also complaining about the same thing. His wife is gets jealous very easily when it comes to other woman that she doesn't know. But after complaining to me, he also tells me that jealously is a good thing. It shows that his wife really cares about him and really really loves him. Lucky guy huh.

So I did an experiment with my bx. I brought another Vietnamese girl together with a couple of Singaporean friends to the place where she works. That girl is just a very good friend of mine. I noticed that all her friends were all onto me. I can feel their eyes all over me.. But when I glanced at my bx she was just doing her work macam nothing happened. Then some of her friends asked me about that girl. I had to explain to them that she is just an friend of mine and we're here just to chill out. But they have disbelief written all over their face. After that, the girl asks me and my friends to another club. I turned down the offer to wait for my bx to finish work and spend time with her and her colleagues. Initially my bx ignored me and only talk to her colleagues. Her other colleagues starts to interrogate me. They said I am a good man because I stayed behind for my bx and did not go and follow my friends another pub. It took me quite awhile to talk to my bx. She finally talked to me at the supper place. Had a kind of a showdown laa. I had quite a bit of explaining to do. But I think it's all worth the hassle. I then asked her why she behaves this way and Whether she is jealous of my friend. And like any other girl in this whole wide world, she denied that she was jealous. But when I asked her what was this all about, she jammed Liao.. Cannot answer.. Hahah cute! At least now I know that maybe I mean something to her for her to get so jealous.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by ykhttq

My gf is trying to learn Mandarin and English though I asked her to first concentrate on Mandarin. Reason is I'm planning to bring her over here for a visit to meet my parents who can't speak English. I hope they can communicate to understand each other better esp when I'm away for work.

I do agree that long-dist relationship is difficult; having to maintain the trust as well as not being 'distracted' are some of the issues we will face. Having to keep in contact via phone is not cheap too. Having to work and thus only able to visit her once a couple of months, it is a drain financially, physically and mentally.

See how love makes ppl break thru barriers...must be able to sustain long and not short time...

Kudos to bro KT...4 years long...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by haha_123

It's true that Vn gals place their family as their No. 1 priority, and sometimes I get jealous when my bx pay more attention to her parents, sister or nephews than me. But I just take it as being part of their culture.

During my last visit to HCMC, another girl called me on my mobile while I was having dinner with my bx. My bx immediately grabbed my phone and told the other gal to stop calling me again. After that event, my bx will always check my handphone for messages and calls. She even hold on to my phone so that when my phone rings, she'll be the first one to pick up and to know the caller is a boy or girl. I must say that I felt a little proud that my bx cling on to me so tightly like she's afraid that she'll lose me to other girls. It also made me very reluctant to 'steal eat' ala Uncle Jack.

Doesn't matter...she will place you no. 1 so long you have time to psycho and brain wash her...must earned her trust lor...dun quite agree with you that taking charge of your handphone is good...this means mis-trust...think you need to work harder...

[hottip]

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

..........
I just want to know how to identify between a good seed or a bad seed. J just don want to waste my time and effort into a lady only to find out that she is a bad seed!
Personally, I think she's a gem.
The only thing that bothers me is that she doesn't really reply to my Random "how are you? I miss you" SMS.
She will take about a day to do that.
She'll SMS me like once in every 3 or 4 days.
I was thinking that maybe it's expensive for her to SMS me every night since she only earns like 3 to 4 mil VND a month and still have to support family.
Should I invest time and effort in her?

I think you need to start off with mutual respect to begin with. If the girl is stereotyped as a WL, then a longterm relationship is a non-starter, as she will always be seen as such and treated as such. I made a mistake once on a very sweet young lady, and suddenly realized how wrong I was, and indeed made up to her later. Although we remain good friends, I am never sure if the episode is ever erased from her mind, even that it wasn't that serious.

Tel comms Sgp-VN is very expensive both ways. Singtel charges S$1.15 (VND16k) per min. It adds up very quickly. 10mins=S$11.15. Even sms's from here are: S$0.60(VND$8k) a pop. It adds up very quickly. I think it is even more ex in VM for them to make overseas calls and sms s. If u figured that you can get a good Pho lunch for one minute's talktime, phone calls are a luxury item. My friend has email, so it helps alot. I also leave her some budget money to top up her card and she responses once a day. I usually call her instead of getting her to call me or sms back.

If you want a successful longterm relationship. Establish the friendship first. You can then figure out the compatibility for a longterm partnership, if not compatible, you can still remain friends. Its not about Fxxk&Forget anymore.

Originally Posted by haha_123

...During my last visit to HCMC, another girl called me on my mobile while I was having dinner with my bx. My bx immediately grabbed my phone and told the other gal to stop calling me again. After that event, my bx will always check my handphone for messages and calls. She even hold on to my phone so that when my phone rings, she'll be the first one to pick up and to know the caller is a boy or girl. I must say that I felt a little proud that my bx cling on to me so tightly like she's afraid that she'll lose me to other girls. It also made me very reluctant to 'steal eat' ala Uncle Jack.
She even told me that she have many spies in HCMC and told me specifically not to try anything funny behind her back...

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

...dun quite agree with you that taking charge of your handphone is good...this means mis-trust...think you need to work harder...

Hahaha.... it is true that VBs are very possesive. I agree with Bro Hurricane, this can be a major problem and create serious misunderstandings. On one hand, its a cultural thing, so she will not understand that you need your own space and that she needs to respect that. You need to work on some training and orientation. But, if she is psychopathic about it, then it is not a Viet problem. Its a serious human problem that also exist in alot of Sgp girls. So watch out and be sure to manage properly.

Originally Posted by KangTuo

why they find someone like me then its worth the trip? Khong hieu..
I believe you should saying find someone like VK... the CASH KING.
I xao nhieu nhieu...

Hahaha... many of these JC girls also come in search of love. Unfortunately, they are not quite doing it the right way,but there really is not much choice for them. Most of the time the boys go to JC in search of lust. Occasionally the VBs get lucky and they find someone like some of our kinder bros.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

Whoa! 4 years! How do you keep the relationship going? You keep going to hcm every other month? How bout the language and cultural differences? How do you tackle all those problem?

Trust, how do you know that she's after your love and not your money?

There are alot doubts and queries in the initial phase of my relationship. I never confront her, let her has the space to bluff me. I am always thinking that she has her reason to do that. Through this forum and meeting up bros here give me alot insight about the life in HCMC.

After I find out more details and facts. I will tell my girlfriend that I actually know the truth but will wait for her to tell me personally. I always tell her that a when a person tells a lie, he/she will tells 10 lies to cover it, then tells 100 lies to cover the 10 lies. I tell her she will be tired of it. One fine day she tell me everything on her own and she gain my trust from that day onwards.

From the day i know her, I have been going to HCMC many times.. 20 over times.

When I get to know her, we talk our own language with hand signal. Then I use dictionary. I go for course and had my further learning in JC/GL with my cheong kakis. I do not know about culturer difference. To me, they are the same as chinese. Maybe I am a person who can adapt anywhere easily. She is a catholic and I am a buddhist. Sometimes people has arguement over religion. But we are open, we go both church and temple.

If you keep thinking that the vietnam girl is after your money... than you will always have doubts about her. My girlfriend use to have some $ problem in her family. I help her to a certain extend w/o thinking that she is after my money.

Originally Posted by dodgyboi69

Yes, I do agree with you that JC girls and non WL Vietnamese girls can not be put into the same category. It kinds of pisses me off when my people stereotype them as money sucking vampires and look at them as if they're just a piece of meat thus not respecting them as a lady..

I just want to know how to identify between a good seed or a bad seed. J just don want to waste my time and effort into a lady only to find out that she is a bad seed!

Personally, I think she's a gem.
The only thing that bothers me is that she doesn't really reply to my Random "how are you? I miss you" SMS.
She will take about a day to do that.
She'll SMS me like once in every 3 or 4 days.
I was thinking that maybe it's expensive for her to SMS me every night since she only earns like 3 to 4 mil VND a month and still have to support family.

Should I invest time and effort in her?

I know my girlfriend in JC... she is a good girl.
bro, when you are going after any girls, you got to waste some time and effort to find out. You cannot tell straightaway. Furthermore a long distance relationship takes more time and effort. If you like her, no matter how long also worth. A bad seed can be polished into a good seed if you know how to.

So you contact her once every 3 or 4 days.... I do my reporting DAILY since day 1.