Depressed

[gradeaprick]

If you were a gentleman when you met her, at least be a gentleman when you leave her .

[RealEstateGuy]

Braddah if you are able to then follow your heart. Braddah it soounds like you still want to be with her but seek public approval from the Braddahs here. But Braddah, you dont need validation from anyone but your heart. Alright Braddah, keep us informed.

[sane]

[QUOTE=Gaofar;6941812]Sigh... This is going to be a long one from me...
but soon I realised that I will simply not be able to take her for what she is and forget her past (especially when I was ALONG WITH her past...), and so I cut off all communication with her and leave her there..
Bro LA, as what many had said over here numerous times: it's really a matter of whether you can accept her or not for what she is. QUOTE]

Totally agreed with wat the bro say....

This will be the same advise for rocky r/s, affairs etc..it might be their fault initially.

Can you overcome the barrier? Accept, bury the past and never bring it up again. Can you do it?

There's only misery for both of u if accept on the surface but not in your heart.

If not, move on. It might be painful. However there's nothing that time can't heal. Nobody can ever help u if you do not walk out of the circle by urself.

[MP5F]

Originally Posted by LoveAffair

Been almost a year... and we are staying together. She got a job as a normal sales staff earning very minimal pay. I see changes in her almost instantly which touches my heart. She is not materialistic at all which is tremendous.

I still insult her(My bad) for those guys that she services.. for being a slut.. each insulting words I used on her hurt me too. It's like using my own dick and slapping my face. I just don't know why I did that during arguments. Most of the time, I raised the arguments. I am still very upset about the whole lie. That whole incident. I felt it was not being fair on me. During sleep at night, I would have nightmares or imaginary visions of how our fellow bros fcuk her. It hurts.... hurts badly..

Please advise me..........

On numerous occasions, I wanted a break up but each time I see her cried so hard I hold back, I gave in.... I still love her because of the changes she made for me. I did my best to love her during this time too. Make her feel clean once again... I did everything......
But am still feeling so heartache when thought of it. What the hell is wrong with me? I wanted a breakup once and for all because its been a year plus we are together and Im still being painful.
Sometimes out of anger, I would drop in to this forum to look for local FLs..
It's like letting myself having sex with another one hoping she would find out and let her understand how the fcuk I am feeling.

Just advise me on what am I supposed to do...

1. if u really likes her u should forget about her past, n think of your future with her. Verbal abuses which u r givin her is as bad as physical abuses. if u always can't sleep at nite, thinkin of how many bro. had bonked her, it's recommended that u c a doctor n tel him/her that u got a relationship problem, n u can't sleep wel at nite. long term insomnia wil lead to mental and physical fatigue for u. by lookin for local FL n hopin that she wil find out, prove what ? You Are Insecure N U Want Revenge. it doesn't serve any purpose at all bro.

2. If You Stil Can't Accept the Cold Hard Facts that she had been bonked by many bro. it's better to let her go, so that she can be free. By freeing her, u can also b free of your suffering.

[jolenekoh]

take out a kitchen knife, slit urself in the throat.

[ironman73]

Originally Posted by LoveAffair

Thought long and hard before posting here. Am not sure how many -ve I will receive, it doesnt matter anymore. Whether I been zapped....
Till date or even this moment, my heart is still pumping fast or rather uneasy when thought of it. Breathing heavily with so much aching inside me. Guess no one will understand how I really feel... rather miserable..

It all happens a while ago. Went to chill out with a couple of friends and saw this lady. She wasn't even in my range of "Radar" due to her dressings, loaded with guys etc.. Saw her a couple of times already and we just smile and talk for a lil while when brought together by a mutual friend. Not sure was it my mistake or not.. I didn't initiate the xchange of contact at that first few times. It's only on the 4th or 5th meetup when I am slightly tipsy and that's when we really talk. The xchange of number starts.

We got really really close and she's been very nice to me whenever I was down. Always there for me. Without a doubt, it's almost like a sweet counsellor there to talk positive onto me. There was this night it all happen...

I was so drunk and tipsy this one night. And wanted her companion so decided to bring her back to my place. Never brought any gals back to my home other than hotel. Not sure why I did that when I just know her not too long ago. Was feeling stressed up bout my job and we chatted for the longest time. Being the gentleman me decided not to be all over her, I was controlling myself but deep down.. I have the strong urged to have sex with her when she lied down (with blankets covered) on my bed looking at me as I talk. After chatting, there was like a min or 2 of awkward silence.
Looking at her cute face, went close to her cheek but I somehow hold back. The next thing I know is she had kissed me. And bros.. u guys should know what happened next..

After having sex with her, we got together. I never like treating gals for fun. Reason because I will always imagined myself having a daughter being fuck by numerous guys. After having sex with whoever, I always managed to start a r/s to see if things do work out. That's my way of doing things...

Anyway back to the topic.. I was together with her and we got so close together that we talked about simply anything and somehow the topic of Sammyboy pops up. I then asked her about it. She's not honest with me at all initially. But friends of hers are doing it from what I heard from her phone conversations. Trying to be positive, I trust her.
One day out of curiosity, I decided to check on SBF. Look up that particular name which I overheard from her friend. And true enough, those descriptions and photos all matched her. I was seriously feeling HASTY inside me. Stunned and not sure if I should continue reading. Each FRs written for her made my tears drop. I was shaking uncontrollably FOR ME, being a guy never believed in dropping tears. I text her immediately without thinking : Thanks for everything, for being a great lier. It was very early in the middle of the night about 4 plus. Assuming she was asleep. To my surprised, my phone got bomb numerous times. Text SMSes kept coming. Asking me what happened. Asking me to wait for her and less than 30mins, I got a text from her that she is outside my place. Trying to be strong and wiping my tears at the same time reading those FRs how our fellow brothers bonk her. Miserable.
When we finally met up outside, I broke down silently and mentioned the name she uses for FL services. The same goes to her. Tough moment when I told her one by one about each and every FRs.
Been almost a year... and we are staying together. She got a job as a normal sales staff earning very minimal pay. I see changes in her almost instantly which touches my heart. She is not materialistic at all which is tremendous.

I still insult her(My bad) for those guys that she services.. for being a slut.. each insulting words I used on her hurt me too. It's like using my own dick and slapping my face. I just don't know why I did that during arguments. Most of the time, I raised the arguments. I am still very upset about the whole lie. That whole incident. I felt it was not being fair on me. During sleep at night, I would have nightmares or imaginary visions of how our fellow bros fcuk her. It hurts.... hurts badly..

The most painful part is no matter how much attempts I tried PMed the admin or the agent to remove those FRS no one seems to be bothered. The Frs are long overdue. Almost a year. I am so lost. What should I do ????
Please advise me..........

On numerous occasions, I wanted a break up but each time I see her cried so hard I hold back, I gave in.... I still love her because of the changes she made for me. She stop contacting most guys in fact all except for her cousins, sisters and a few school friends even though I told her I do not mind her contacting guys. Is it unhealthy? I did my best to love her during this time too. Make her feel clean once again... I did everything......
But am still feeling so heartache when thought of it. What the hell is wrong with me? I wanted a breakup once and for all because its been a year plus we are together and Im still being painful.
Sometimes out of anger, I would drop in to this forum to look for local FLs..
It's like letting myself having sex with another one hoping she would find out and let her understand how the fcuk I am feeling.

Just advise me on what am I supposed to do...

I don't care if you ZAPPED OR UPPED me. This is a very personal experience and I am merely asking for advises from anyone who had almost the same experience as me before. It took me a while quite sometime to share this. So please respect my feelings when you do reply. Be sensitive to my feelings. With Appreciations... Thanks......

I have afew friends who have but sadly to said, only one work out. You will need to have the heart of a lion or really love this woman to overcome this problem. This is very tough for a man. Pride, dignity etc.

I did not read through what other bros have adviced you but i believe all advice and comments meant you well. As for me i just wanted to keep it simple and analyse the following :
- She start this FL job before knowing you. So who doesn't have a skeleton hidden in some darkest corner or inside the closet? You are a saint yourself? Is what directions and decisions she make afterward that matters.
- You should have not insulted her. To be insulted by someone dearly really hurts. Sometime it will take forever for it to be erase or forgiven. But never forgotten.

I am a man myself coming 40s, is not easy!! I just finished my divorce 1 year ago after 9 years of marriage. She fallen for someone else, with constant SMS inside the toilet, going out weekend trips, been spotted with the same sport car ferry her around by my mother and buddies....that was afew years back. I do not want to go into the details becoz this thread is meant for you.

Just wanted you to know, when you forgive somebody, you are also giving yourself a chance to start a fresh.

[sean69]

Originally Posted by Apocalypse

I don't mind to be behind sometimes, and inspecting the morality actually

I love to be behind.. so that i can check out the ladies' ass!!!

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Braddah if you are able to then follow your heart. Braddah it soounds like you still want to be with her but seek public approval from the Braddahs here. But Braddah, you dont need validation from anyone but your heart. Alright Braddah, keep us informed.

REG.. well said !! but i have a slightly different opinion..


TS, i think you have a lot of frustration and is seeking validation from us to breakup with her... obviously you can never let go of her past and if you plan to stay together, judging from your posts, it will too big a baggage for you to carry and it is not fair to her..

have a clean break.. in your heart, you probably think she is dirty and not worthy of you... from your posts, i would say you are also not worthy of her too...

like i always say, there are no saints in a sex forum... even the innocents, once they get in, they will be tainted and forever be corrupted!! ... so before you condemn her, please take a good look at yourself ...

[Mr_don_juan]

[QUOTE=sane;6972185]

Originally Posted by Gaofar

Sigh... This is going to be a long one from me...
but soon I realised that I will simply not be able to take her for what she is and forget her past (especially when I was ALONG WITH her past...), and so I cut off all communication with her and leave her there..
Bro LA, as what many had said over here numerous times: it's really a matter of whether you can accept her or not for what she is. QUOTE]

Totally agreed with wat the bro say....

This will be the same advise for rocky r/s, affairs etc..it might be their fault initially.

Can you overcome the barrier? Accept, bury the past and never bring it up again. Can you do it?

There's only misery for both of u if accept on the surface but not in your heart.

If not, move on. It might be painful. However there's nothing that time can't heal. Nobody can ever help u if you do not walk out of the circle by urself.

There are many pasts.. bad ones as long you are human sure have.. just realise one thing that there is no perfect being in this world.. everyone make mistakes and move on..

Coming to your heart and soul, sometimes the pain is there if you unable to forget what she did in the past.. when you start to accept that both parties are not all perfect.. there start the healing process to realise and accept one another to make amends.. the past is gone and the future is there.. soon the happiness dwell in slowly but inevitably to create a happy future together to learn to love, to learn to live as one..

[qwertyuiop]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Forget about marrying whores. Once a whore, always a whore

Agree with sammyboyfor for the above, been through experiences like that and it's true. Out of a million, probably 1 case will be different.

It's true that a leopard will never change it's spots.

[LoveAffair]

Thanks all for the kind effort in replying. Read every single one of it.

[hotstuffm8]

trolololol

[qwertyuiop]

Originally Posted by LoveAffair

But i really hope u can take a little bit more effort in reading before posting......

TS,

qwertyuiop: My advice will be straight to the point so hope u won’t feel that it’s offensive. Probably u can take it with a pinch of salt ya?

But i really hope u can take a little bit more effort in reading before posting….
qwertyuiop: I suppose everyone reads it differently so have different opinions and will just be sharing their advice with u, it’s not offensive when I read it in a neutral manner.

I supposed I have mentioned that i initiate breaking up a couple of times….
qwertyuiop: Myself and most people I know have fallen into the same situation of breakup as your situation too. Sometimes, we just need to be firm on our decision even though it’s going to be heartbreaking. I’ve been through the same “lie” part which is hard to accept as I am a person who dislike liars too. So for this, I do understand deeply how u feel when being lied to. And, once a liar, always a liar.

“If u love her enough. let her go. If you couldnt do it for yourself at least do it for her.”
qwertyuiop: I did the above and really felt good after it happened. Everyone will be giving you advice to do it but it doesn’t mean they are forcing you, the ultimate decision lies in you in the end. You may not understand what the above sentence means for now, you will understand it in future when the time comes.

You sound like I wanted her so badly that I am tormenting her…..
qwertyuiop: Yes, you are tormenting not only her but also yourself. As for converting her to Christian, I have no comments on that.

And yes, I cannot accept her past. Mainly due to the big lie. If it happened before…..
qwertyuiop: Love her for who she is. If you cannot accept her past then there will definitely be an issue forever in this relationship. Anyway I’m not indicating that you are wrong by doing so, there’s really no right or wrong when it comes to relationship matters, it’s just a matter of different opinions. Human errs and she’s a human too. If this lie hurts u, it means it’s not going to turn out good. It’s always good to give a 2nd chance and observe from then onwards if the person lies anymore. I believe it’s good for 2 to sit down and discuss this “lie” issue together and comes to better negotiation for peace and happiness. But then again, you still have to be strong to get prepared should you be lied to again.

Here’s a question for you, have you ever ask her before this question “Why did she lied?”

We all have different point of view towards love. It's a complicated one there. Sometimes when u love someone enough, u changed for them…...
qwertyuiop: Yes, love is complicated. Changes in ourselves, I agree. But changing for the better of oneself or for the better of the others, it’s best to do for ownself. When you can change yourself ro the better, others will naturally see you good. No human should “change” for the sake of “another”. As for your insulting her, even though it’s because of the big lie, a verbal insult is still WRONG no matter what. Just apologise sincerely, as you are human and naturally you make mistakes too but that’s the “YOU” she should be accepting as well. As for whether you want to continue being a person who use verbal insult or change for the better, you decide, no one can change or force you.

I disagree to a certain extent when u said everything to date is about me…..
qwertyuiop: When a woman mention that “everything is about u” you really got to read carefully in between the lines and you will find the mystery of why the reason for the quote above.

And True to a smaller extent because I still find it hard to accept the fact that she got laid by NUMEROUS……..
qwertyuoip: Looking at matters in another perspective, let me ask, “Which girl nowadays doesn’t get laid numerous before she becomes your gf/wife etc?” There’s a lot of situation to a girl being laid numerous times. Being naïve? Met a lot of handsome tricky dudes? Family situation? Being naughty at young age? Being hurt by another relationship? And it goes on and on…..

I am indecisive on this till date…….
qwertyuiop: It takes time for both of you to get together naturally it’ll take time for both of you to get separated. It’s only a matter of time. U ask a few questions and I’ll answer in point form
-Her family doesn’t want you to leave doesn’t mean you can’t, it’s your decision, no one can force u
-Need not tell her past or show FRs as she have her dignity and those are already her PAST, to resolve a relationship need not use the devastating way unless due to unforeseen circumstances
-Last but not least, pls do not make hasty decision as rash decision will always result in SHE outcome. Ponder what “SHE” means? Take some time to figure out what it means. =)

Hope my 0.02 cents worth of advice (due to inflation) did not offend you in anyway. Please disregard my posting or you may request for me to remove it if you do feel so.

[Dzakomo]

To: LoveAffair

I had been in this exact situation before. At that time we were really happy. My girl was sleeping over at my place. I fell asleep too. But soon woken by a terrible dream, where i dreamt of her sleeping with my brother. In the middle of the night, i took her handphone and went to the toilet, checked her msgs. My suspicion was right. Even though the guy in her msgs was not my brother but it was terrible. I sat there, totally lost.

You need FIRST handle the feeling of betrayal and hurt. Remember don't be stuck in these feelings. Only after that will you KNOW if you still want her or not. Ask if are you also hurting and betraying yourself, by paying for FL.

When you truly feel good, you would pay SHIT to these women.

[wells]

Everybody has a sad past. Everyone deserves a second chance. , If you both love each other..go for it. Key - Forgive and Forget - Can you do that?

[limmeng]

Bro , whats past is already past.. if u still love her, always look on the brighter side.. forget the past... look into the future.. so that u will wont feel so depress...