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#76
10-11-2011, 01:58 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
Gentlemen,
It is interesting to read all your comments. I wanted to give a women's spin to this whole thing. Yes, I am not married. I am single in a complicated relationship. I am in 30s and had my fair share of boyfriends. During my earlier years in the banking world, I hated myself the most for dating an expat angmoh. They are all nothing but talk and show and just want an asian pussy to their list. So let me get back to the topic of the day. Have you all considered that your wife needs to be put in the right mood so that both of you can have enjoyable sex? Have you considered putting yourselves in your wife's sitaution? After being married and being a mother to the kids and looking after every small requests from kids and all, it will take a super woman to remain sexy and feel sexy enough to please her husband. I am saying for the womenfolk. We are also humans. We also need sex and have a desire. A women's sexual libido reduces because she is loaded and burdened with family responsibilities. Yes you men better believe it, you may think you have mental burden of financial issues for the family, well wake up so does the womenfolk too. I think you should consider the following , have you thought of wining and dining your wife? Yes may be corny - but let me tell any women of ANY AGE , will love to receive flowers, go to dinner and be told how they are being valued. Try that, you will be surprised how they will react back to you men. I am not a floozy or a bimbo. I am educated and independent and I know what I am talking about. I hear my married colleagues (women) complain and whined about theur husbands or boyfriends and even emphatize when they stray and have a little romance with another guy in the office. So I ask you guys out there to think about us women and how we feel and I am sure you will continue to have a great sex life. I dated a guy a few years ago. He was decent chap, well mannered, very sensitive. I hated myself for being picky and being a bitch. He was a true conversationalists. He was a great cook, very family oriented. I was young and frightened. And now I regretted that. We had great sex together. There were times I was distracted with the pressure of work and never had a notion to be laid in bed, but he was able to make me forget about work and I opened myself to him. Looking back, I regretted losing him. and now as I said, gentlemen, it's all in you. If you want to bring the magic back to your sex life with your wife. then date her, wine her, dine her and help her, and make her feel beautiful. Then sit back and enjoy the rewards. 
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#77
10-11-2011, 02:34 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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reasons: 1) you are not married. 2) you do not have kids 3) you are surfing sammyboy we are talking about problems surfacing many years into the marriage, and some wifes were sexually active at the start but not after kids. so as you are not in a long term marriage and have no kids to look after at night, you won't represent these women. and you are surfing SB - meaning inherently you are more sexual than most women already by the way, I am the TS and I am facing these problems - but my wife has no work pressure, she is a Tai Tai. She has her own car, own credit card, no bills to pay, no work deadlines. 2 maids to help look after the kids, no housework to do, no cooking to do. I wine her and dine her in every single celebrity restaurant in Singapore already, from Guy Savoy to Joel Robuchon Have gifted her bags/clothes from Chanel , LV - you name it, many times throughout the year We travel 4 to 5 times a year Yet... so please don't assume that men 'mistreat' or 'misunderstand' our wives and purport that you empathise when the wives stray and have an affair/office romance
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#78
10-11-2011, 02:43 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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In e end, the wife prefers to get fucked outside by other people cos the man has no TIME for her... WOMAN LOGIC... 
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#79
10-11-2011, 05:13 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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#80
10-11-2011, 05:57 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
Bro ferragamo/TS,
based on what you're saying, your wife is truly very lucky! Have u considered going for couple counselling or something? Not healthy to let this fester... hope u find a solution (other than possibly eating out) Allow me to present another side of the coin... although I think I may represent a small minority out there. I'm married with a kid. Admittedly my libido & sexual drive was lower in the past.... honestly I had not much interest in boys/men/sex until past my mid-20s. I was very focused on studies & my career. After having a kid and in my 30s now, my libido is way way higher than my husband's. And amongst several of my other girlfriends, this is the same situation for them as well. Not "slutty" and rather prudish in the past; but more voracious appetites now  What I'm trying to put across is that there may be ebbs & flows/cycles/transitions to a person's sex drive. Perhaps for most men out there it's always on 80-100km/hr from puberty to old age. But women ~ I'm not sure... perhaps like what silkypussy says, other aspects of life comes in like being a good mother -- and that replaces the sex-kitten that men married. Perhaps more nudging is needed? Also a lot of it also comes down to self-esteem & love of one's own body. I'm more confident of my body & sexuality now compared to my earlier years - and that helps. From what I understand, some mums don't like their present bodies especially after giving birth & it dampens their libido. Maybe some motivation for some wives to help them lose their weight? Don't get me wrong ~ I believe that there must be a balance (and I kinda empathize). After all sexual intimacy is important in helping to further cement a loving relationship 
__________________
"Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears." ~ John Lennon
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#81
10-11-2011, 06:05 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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 Seriously bro, if your wife not up to your standard then dun force or it will make matters worse.....here SBF alot of lobangs to intro if you just want to release la. So many comments weighed in....ya la now Sinkieland so stressful knn cannot blame, so long as you confirm its not due to the reasons REGuy mentioned then okay. Some people....few people can live happy lives without sex so if need release just go find chicken.....
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#82
11-11-2011, 09:53 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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Thank you for your insight into this matter. I would like share a story of my female friend, which may support hickeybites story above. I have this female friend (who is not young anymore). She was religious, and when she was dating during her schooldays, she did not made love with her bf. I think it was due to the pressure from the religious belief as well as her friends in the her circle. But she liked kissing a lot, that's all, nothing more. At the end, her relationship with his school bf ended. And after uni, she finally married with another guy. She was virgin until the first night of their wedding day. She told me that she did not enjoy intercourse at all. Her husband was just fucking, fucking her and that was it. She did not know what climax was. Then they got kids. The relationship with the hubby was not good at all. She said that hubby was not communicative - not even about discussing kids' future (e.g. which school to go to, etc, etc). She was fed up with the situation, and wanted to divorce. But she was scared, and all her friends suggested her to stay in her marriage, simply because she did not have a backup (e.g. new bf). While her relationship was rocky, suddenly she knew a man. This guy is really playboy type (I don't know whether he is reading this posting). He was married, but ate outside a lot. This guy although married tried to approach my female friend. But my female friend resisted, maybe due to her religious belief, even though her marriage was rocky at that time. Because this guy was persistent (and also experience), finally my friend fell for him. The guy was finally divorce, and my friend finally had the gut to divorce her husband. And this guy and my friend were finally dating. After awhile, the guy dumped her, and went to have a new gf. His new gf is single and of course younger. According to my friend, this new gf had an experience in some industry overseas, which she belief had some connection to the sex industry. The conclusion is that this new gf is experience in satisfying guys. But that guy still wants to have my friend as fb. But my friend does not want it, although she still likes him a lot. My friend was devastated. She was divorce because of him, and now he dumps her. She lost everything. She asked me why would this guy did it to him. Obviously, I said to myself... of course la... how do you compare a divorcee with kids and a younger single woman... Of course... I didn't say this to her, afraid that I would offend her... After digging about this to her for awhile, she confessed. Now, the story gets more interesting.... She mentioned the intimate details about their sexual experience. Really amazing. She said that when she stayed over in his house, before waking up, they made love, and then after breakfast before he went to work, she would suck and cim. She really likes to swallow. Amazing... She had multiple orgasm, and so did he. That guy told her that her service is 6 stars. Her service is much better than paid sex, his new gf, other gf, and ex-wife. He might have lied. But I believe that he was telling the truth, because of two reasons: one is that although he has young gf (and young ex wife), he still wants her as fb (my friend and that guy are the same age, and not young anymore). Two is that I believe her service is 6 stars.... Once that guy told my friend that it was a pity that my friend's hubby did not that his ex wife was expert in bed..... Remember when my friend was still married, she never reached climax with hubby, and yet she become very slutty to his guy. My friend told me that she was really in love with this guy, and would serve him (sexually), until she dies. Amazing.... The moral story of this story is that she changed... I don't know what caused her.... But she changed: from naive to expert. Sadly she is now ill and may not recover... I am not implying anything to bros story about their wives and their problems... I do hope that you will workout with your wives.... But there is one burning question that I have... Many of senior bros have married fb... Can senior bros share... what kind of lives that these married fb have... Personally I do not have experience that much with married fb, because my fb mostly are single.... The first/last married fb that I had was long ago, before I got married... And only have single fb after I got married... Thanks... sorry for a long posting...
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#83
12-11-2011, 01:21 AM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
anyting can happen
Last edited by shaunting77; 30-01-2013 at 08:33 PM.
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#84
12-11-2011, 03:31 AM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
Hey guys,
did some research on this b4 so tot ill share it here. i faced the same issue b4 quite a few years back when all of a sudden after my wife give birth, sex become lesser and lesser. The timeline goes something like this. b4 marry - at least 5 days a week or whenever we have chance to be together privately. after marry - 7 days a week or more. after child come out - 2 months recovery period, then 2 times a week, then become 1 time a week, then become 1 time every 2 weeks, then i kaupeh liao... so she say ok, go back to 1 time a week, then drop even lower to 2 times a month... sianz.. So had a talk with her, she say jus no mood, also donno y.. I remember i felt pissed, cheated, or is it im no longer 'creative', but every ask her try creative things she will 'huh, don wan la'. maybe i become boring oredi, or is it she bored oredi.. i remember having a slight depression over this issue, or is it a slight imbalance. so do some research... after a few weeks of research, i finally found the explanation among the explanations that makes the most sense.... The article say something like this but ill explain in my own words cos i cannot remember the full things liao..... a girl will have desire to have sex jus like man, its becos the body is created this way so we can reproduce. but immediately after the baby come out, meaning the moment the baby is push out of the girl's stomach, her body will release a hormone or chemical thingy that makes her feel like a mother and care for the child. this release of chemical makes her immediately feel that the baby is very loved.. (bonding feeling).. and thus she will want to care for the baby and love the baby and make sure no harm comes to the baby. From this moment onwards, the hubby is no longer priority, baby is priority. Rest is 2nd priority as her mind will tell her to rest so as to take care of the baby. If she is working mother, then work will be 3rd priority, cos must work to support baby, give baby good life. Everything onwards is done with the baby in mind, at top priority.. For guys, we have no chemicals to release to tell us how to love a baby as a father. I rem i only really bond with my baby after 1 year.. after 3 yrs, im quite sure i love my baby, after 7 years then i really know I love my baby and will want the best for him. But for the lady, i guess they get this feeling straightway after birth.. for if they do not get the 'chemical release', the hubby will still be top priority, and baby will not have a mother to rely on, which is not 'natural'.. Well i guess this makes most sense to me, not sure abt you guys...
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#85
12-11-2011, 08:17 AM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
I got a question to ask. If females are built that way to reduce libido after child, why are there still horny MILFs out there?
Seriously, I think they become that way partly because of husband. Seriously, how many husbands still play play with the wife after 2 yrs of marriage? How many still grab ass now and then? How many of them touch the wives inappropriately in public on the sly? If I were ever to marry, I'd think it will be pretty much be like pak tor for the next few decades. One reason is I am that horny. The other is that I am really that horny. And lastly, I too lazy to fool around. You know how much effort goes into secret liasons? Xian ah!!
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#86
12-11-2011, 09:25 AM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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#87
12-11-2011, 09:29 AM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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Now touch her in public will let her scold , will say 'why that's the only thing you think about' or 'the children / other people are looking' 
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#88
12-11-2011, 10:57 AM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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#89
12-11-2011, 01:35 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
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 ...tis is typical of most of our wifey 2day wif LSD...empathise wif Bro ferragamo..Quote:
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....Their HBs are really very lucky men, if they still dun know it... but for the ordinary mainstream wifeys which most fall into...their libido drops tremendously esp after childbirth & then as they grow older towards menopause ...we hardly see any woman abv 50 nowadays so sexily dressed to kill, wif heavy make-up and holding hands wif a man so passionately in public....like they prolly did when they were 21 & syt...they now look just as unattractive as the many ah sohs we see around us 2day who are dressed simply wif no make-up etc...cos they hav more or less lost all interest in sex...so can't really blame the LSD wifeys too...nature has caused them to lose their sexual interest as age catches up wif them... so hav to find yr own safe way of release if u really need & can't take it anymore Yes, sis hickeybites is so rite !..."After all sexual intimacy is important in helping to further cement a loving relationship"...so w/o it, there's really no married r/s at all...the couple is just merely reverting to being ordinary frens & acquaintances so happening to be living in the same house...Lol
__________________
MIN to EXC > POWER...5 Up my points n I will return immediately Pls PM me if I haven return favor Last edited by Rickey; 12-11-2011 at 01:58 PM.
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#90
12-11-2011, 02:27 PM
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Re: Wife & Sex - going through the motion
Bro ferragamo,
Not implying so but could you have changed without realizing? Looks, shape, dedication, temper, personality...people change, that's inevitable. Do couples evolve together over time or separately? That's a piece of the puzzle. Most of the hypothetical analyses here can only offer typical textbook answers but they all fall short because we don't know you. The answer may be found within ourselves. Nonetheless, not all couples walk into the sunset to live happily ever after. In fact, more and more do not. Sex is JUST a component of a marriage, though to some it's THE component. How's the Mrs outside mating? She's still as warm and caring, thoughtful and loving? She probably still loves you but just loves sex lesser these days (as the kids come first). Would it bother you as much if you compare to say, wives that outside fucking other guys while maintaining a wifey/motherly facade at home (We know it happens, many guys just do not know its happening to them)? That subterfuge definitely hurts more. If all other aspects of the marriage seems healthy and causes you no suspicion, perhaps a subtle shift in paradigm would suffice...and maybe a little porn There's even a joke for such a situation...proves all the more it happens to the best of us- DEAD PUSSY One night, Jerry brought home a dozen red roses to his wife. "How lovely, dear," she said. "What's the occasion?" "I want to make love to you," he said simply. "Not tonight, dear. I have a headache." The next night Jerry came home with a big box of chocolates and explained that he wanted to make love to her. "I'm awfully tired, honey," said his wife. "Can I have a rain-check?" Every night for a week Jerry brought home something, but each time his wife's answer was "no". Finally he came home carrying six black kittens with little red bows around their necks and handed them to his wife. "How adorable, Jerry!" she exclaimed. "What are they for?" "These are six little pallbearers for your dead pussy."
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