Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[tantan1234]

Originally Posted by Common

Newbie here.

After being married for 14 years I can certainly relate and empathize with the bros who post in this thread. In my case the first sign of trouble was already during honeymoon, when we ML only 2 times. I always thought couples would be going at it like rabbits during honeymoon. She complained pain la.

I think every year since then average also less than 8x ML a year

Hmm. I agree sex is impt but frankly even tho i don have many my fustration is not based solely on sex.


She does not treat my family well, say I better towards family.
She listen to her family.
She doesnt care abt me.
she doesnt do hsework.

I consolidated all but it points to the point of...i married her for what??

Totally no benefits except she bore me a kid.
Sorry i make it sound so business like but I was just disappointed.

I just need her to care abt me.

Whenever i see my kid, i was really really sad. I failed in my duty as a father. I cant give her a complete family

[chan38]

Originally Posted by Mikesgch

Me too, before having kid, sex was ok. Over the years gradually, kid becomes the top priority and to her sex is nothing important! Dependjng her mood, probably once two weeks or a month. She no mood, even diy next to her and she simply lying beside you and continued to sleep or surf net. WTF! How not to eat out? Have been trying to loom for FB......maintain the family and also sextisfied!...

Me same lah...

[Window7]

Originally Posted by Common

Newbie here.

After being married for 14 years I can certainly relate and empathize with the bros who post in this thread. In my case the first sign of trouble was already during honeymoon, when we ML only 2 times. I always thought couples would be going at it like rabbits during honeymoon. She complained pain la.

I think every year since then average also less than 8x ML a year

You lucky bastard. I don't even have 1 hj during my honeymoon.
Every night she will shower then blow dry her hair and sleep.

[joncheong]

Originally Posted by Window7

You lucky bastard. I don't even have 1 hj during my honeymoon.
Every night she will shower then blow dry her hair and sleep.

honeymoon is for sex man.....how is it possible that she doesn't do it during honeymoon.....

[Bryan747]

Originally Posted by tantan1234

Hmm. I agree sex is impt but frankly even tho i don have many my fustration is not based solely on sex.


She does not treat my family well, say I better towards family.
She listen to her family.
She doesnt care abt me.
she doesnt do hsework.

I consolidated all but it points to the point of...i married her for what??

Totally no benefits except she bore me a kid.
Sorry i make it sound so business like but I was just disappointed.

I just need her to care abt me.

Whenever i see my kid, i was really really sad. I failed in my duty as a father. I cant give her a complete family

Bro... very sad to hear this and i m truly hope that your wife can wake her mind up..
I'm hoping that I need not go through all this as well but everyday suffering..

[sggamer]

i try to aim once a week with my wife.
but most of the time she will say no mood and lay there like a dead fish. no kissing. no response.
somehow all wives seems to always have no mood for sex.

if your wife is the career minded one, i think you will have trouble sexing her frequently.

when trying for baby, it is the best time to officially F your wife like crazy.
after baby is out, she is like close shop. no more sex.

sometimes when you buy her expensive gift, feeling happy she might open her shop for you.

my wife havent caught me watching porn yet.
but she mentioned why men like to watch porn, so pervert.

i feel that it is better to watch porn and self satisfied than go out to fling and find a mistress. they just dont understand, we have to self satisfy because they didnt help us.

[zzakk]

To be frank, marriage is suicide for most men including me. Just to tahan wife's humiliations due to kid future.

[junior_cannibal]

First, let me say this, my marriage ain't a bliss.

I have heard from my fellow friends that their wives ain't that keen of having sex, may be from day one when they got married, or after their kids were bornt.

When your wife starts to avoid having sex, before you conclude she ain't keen, check on the following:

- was she having a stressful day?
- did you guys try to time the sex, e.g. let's do it only on Friday night
- if you guys are both working, do you need a super long sex, or a nice, spontaneous quickie would be better?
- this list can go on and on. Last but not least, did she appear different now? E.g. dressing, behaviour.. In the modern world, not only man looks for FB, our fellow women could be doing the same, if not better

If it is none of the above, what about asking yourself what you guys loved about each other at the start, were those reason still valid and around. If so, why do you guys don't do it like it used to be. If not, why did you guys remain together? Just for the kids or other reason? If right from the start, your spouse already not really interested in sex, what makes you think she will like it now? Afterall, most men have sex while most women make love. These two are similar but ain't the same.

A so called lousy marriage is like a lousy job, when you ditch the lousy job, what makes you think that the next job would be a better one? Thus, before you ditch the job, do a sincere and honest self and soul check.

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by tantan1234

Hmm. I agree sex is impt but frankly even tho i don have many my fustration is not based solely on sex.

She does not treat my family well, say I better towards family.
She listen to her family.
She doesnt care abt me.
she doesnt do hsework.

I consolidated all but it points to the point of...i married her for what??

Totally no benefits except she bore me a kid.
Sorry i make it sound so business like but I was just disappointed.

Really empathize wif bro tantan...but u r still young...u needn't need to continue suffering tis way...there are other beta women out there u can look to if u want or need...but jus be careful not to jump into another similar marriage like tis...all my best wishes are for you

Originally Posted by sggamer

my wife havent caught me watching porn yet.
but she mentioned why men like to watch porn, so pervert.

i feel that it is better to watch porn and self satisfied than go out to fling and find a mistress. they just dont understand, we have to self satisfy because they didnt help us.

Dun quite understand these women....why they like to condemn men watching porn as perverts...din they themselves enjoy sex as well b4 n after they married, hv they never watched porn themselves...jus can't believe them portraying themselves like being naive, pure, innocent, little gals..lolz

[tantan1234]

Originally Posted by junior_cannibal

A so called lousy marriage is like a lousy job, when you ditch the lousy job, what makes you think that the next job would be a better one? Thus, before you ditch the job, do a sincere and honest self and soul check.

Frankly, if really conclude this marriage think i really no mood for another.

Even if i will take a long time to choose. And to choose wisely.
Single bros out there, really take yr time and open yr eyes

[tantan1234]

[QUOTE=Rickey;8604736]Really empathize wif bro tantan...but u r still young...u needn't need to continue suffering tis way...there are other beta women out there u can look to if u want or need...but jus be careful not to jump into another similar marriage like tis...all my best wishes are for you

[/B]

Bro thanks. I can feel yr sincerity.
Now the whole issue cool down. We no longer talked abt it. But i believe the issue will resurface.


Damn. I really dont kw. My kid is so cute and i dread thinking she is leaving me.
And for my wife, her character really disappoint me, and i doubt she will change.


I dont understand why when she is married yet DONT KW how to love and care for her husband. In the 1st place she shouldnt get married.

[inkthatsmile]

Just sharing my opinion, as a wifey of my VERY HIGH SEX DRIVE HUBBY and two kiddo(one infant and one toddler) its really really a chore, and honestly speaking it does affect our sex life and it is not easy...

Maybe due to childbirth(according to research it does affect some women on their sex drive especially to women that are breastfeeding)
Maybe due to simply being tired..and no doubt being a mum is really tired, I mean, imagine you guys doing all the work, taking care of a baby is really not an easy job, imagine having not enough sleep and yet have to tend a cranky baby.. Not easy.
Maybe due to simply not PASSIONATE enough?

Seriously many reasons is not told by wifey, maybe because we dare not voice out.

Honestly I feel super tired and KINDA irritated when my hubby constantly ask me for sex BUT i do feel bad rejecting him BUT at the same time Im really not in the mood for sex, SO sometimes I wonder am I suppose to just 'SEX' for the sake of it or should I simply just reject him because I do not want to 'sex' for sex.

Seriously sometimes I do wonder is sex everything in marriage? Sometimes when kids are involve decreasing number of times in sex is expected isnt? I admit I'm still in the young range but this type of stuff isnt really controllable isnt?

And I still don't understand how can man get so frustrated when they dont get sex?

[inkthatsmile]

Just sharing my opinion, as a wifey of my VERY HIGH SEX DRIVE HUBBY and two kiddo(one infant and one toddler) its really really a chore, and honestly speaking it does affect our sex life and it is not easy...

Maybe due to childbirth(according to research it does affect some women on their sex drive especially to women that are breastfeeding)
Maybe due to simply being tired..and no doubt being a mum is really tired, I mean, imagine you guys doing all the work, taking care of a baby is really not an easy job, imagine having not enough sleep and yet have to tend a cranky baby.. Not easy.
Maybe due to simply not PASSIONATE enough?

Seriously many reasons is not told by wifey, maybe because we dare not voice out.

Honestly I feel super tired and KINDA irritated when my hubby constantly ask me for sex BUT i do feel bad rejecting him BUT at the same time Im really not in the mood for sex, SO sometimes I wonder am I suppose to just 'SEX' for the sake of it or should I simply just reject him because I do not want to 'sex' for sex.

Seriously sometimes I do wonder is sex everything in marriage? Sometimes when kids are involve decreasing number of times in sex is expected isnt? I admit I'm still in the young range but this type of stuff isnt really controllable isnt?

And I still don't understand how can man get so frustrated when they dont get sex?

[zzakk]

Hi Tantan1234,
Your situation exactly similar to mine. Seems like you are posting from my side.

[lizaleong]

I hv same problem. My wife is very pretty and sexy, erynight wear lingerie, but hard to make her in the mood. Always say tired and busy.

So difficult for me to tahan. Usually i end up surfing porn. By the time i sleep. She is like naked on the bed after deep sleep on those lingerie. Then i got hard on again. Knn