Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[indulgent]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

My collection of jokes

ALways love to Pink Panther show.

Hope to read more.

[Qenzi]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

My collection of jokes

Nice share bro. Where is the inspector?

[DaisyTrump]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, none of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hour's examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong. He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the goods news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured was to have sex.

Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the Pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the Pope stated, "I agree but under four conditions."

The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all of the noise there arose a single voice that asked, "And what are the four conditions?"

The room stilled. There was a long pause. The Pope replied, "First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see with whom she is having sex. Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex. And third, she must be mute so that if somehow she figures out with who she is having sex, she can tell no one."

After another long pause a voice arose and asked, "And the fourth condition?" The Pope smiled and replied, "Big tits."

Nice one, thanks bro!

[bigbirdbird]

Peeing in the Snow


One winter day, Fred's neighbor, Sam, came up to Fred's door and started pounding on it.

Fred answered the door. "Sam, what's up?" he said.

Sam angrily replied, "That no-good son of yours has been peeing in the snow in my yard!"

Fred asked, "How do you know it was my son?"

Sam answered, "He wrote his name in pee!"

"Okay," Fred replied. "I'll talk to him about it, but I have to say, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just pee in the snow. Why are you so fired up about it?"

Sam snapped back, "It's in my daughter's handwriting!"

[bigbirdbird]

Unkempt


Nurse Jennings was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn't believe it: her hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!

"Miss Jennings! How can you account for parading around the hospital, not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed?"

"Oh," said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those damned interns! They never put anything back when they're through using it!"

[bigbirdbird]

A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.

The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"


***********


A woman walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a shot of whiskey.

A few minutes later the bartender hands her the order.

The Woman drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey into her handbag.

She orders another round of the same, so the bartender takes her two glasses and refills them.

Once again, she drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey into her handbag.

The bartender says, "Look Miss, I don't mean to bug you, but my curiosity is killing me. Why do you keep pouring the shots into your handbag?"

The woman says, "It's none of your damn business! And if you be givin' me a hard time, i'll be breakin' yer face!"

Suddenly a mouse pops his head out of her handbag and says, "And that goes for your fuckin' cat too."

[bigbirdbird]

Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge Hole in my ass"

The doctors says "drop your pants, bend over and let Have a look".

"Fuck me!!" says the doctor " what Could have made a hole as big as that?"

Patient replies I've been fucked by an elephant".

The doctor says "An elephants penis is long and Thin, this hole is enormous".

Patient replies "He fingered me first".


***********



Marina and Amy were sitting drinking coffee.

Amy looked quite down and so Marina asked her what the problem was.

Amy's brow furrowed and she said, "Marina, that Viagra is the work of the devil.

Now we girls can look forward to having sex with really old guys, for years and years to come. I can see it now.

He's screaming ...

'Who's your granddaddy, who's your granddaddy?

Oh dear, I can't remember! What were we doing? Was I enjoying it?"

[35cents]

now dat takes some skill....! nice one!

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Peeing in the Snow


One winter day, Fred's neighbor, Sam, came up to Fred's door and started pounding on it.

Fred answered the door. "Sam, what's up?" he said.

Sam angrily replied, "That no-good son of yours has been peeing in the snow in my yard!"

Fred asked, "How do you know it was my son?"

Sam answered, "He wrote his name in pee!"

"Okay," Fred replied. "I'll talk to him about it, but I have to say, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just pee in the snow. Why are you so fired up about it?"

Sam snapped back, "It's in my daughter's handwriting!"

[huangxiaoma]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Unkempt


Nurse Jennings was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn't believe it: her hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!

"Miss Jennings! How can you account for parading around the hospital, not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed?"

"Oh," said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those damned interns! They never put anything back when they're through using it!"

This is funny hehe! thanks bro

[L0stInL0ve]

[/QUOTE]









Juicy Pussy





?

[Hurricane88]

Another joke to share

[Anoeta]

Originally Posted by L0stInL0ve

Juicy Pussy



?

Attractive brand haha

[dyelook]

bumps for nice jokes..

[Hurricane88]

Haha more laughter best medicine...

Just love this one...

🌞🔳Virginity is like a Balloon🎈, One prick👈 and it's gone for ever!

🔳Sex is like a pack of Chips🍟, Once you start!
You can't stop😝!

🔳An Exam paper📝 is like a Dick 🍌, When it's hard! People get fucked!🎍

🔳Education🏨 is like hiring a prostitute💃, It needs both your money💰 and your hardwork 😓...👤!

🔳💰💳Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand👋 can let you achieve it!

🔳Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !👙👙

🔳 Fuck a woman and she Loves you. When u Love a woman she Fucks you.😳😳

🔳MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.😜😜

🔳The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!😝😝

🔳Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It's Enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up😜😜

🔳Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute😰😰

🔳If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation! 😉😉

🔳If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible, ask him to wear condom after sex!💄😱

So basically life is 👙PORNOGRAPHY👙
😂😂😂😂

Don't laugh alone share it with friends!! 😆😆😆😆
This is fucking too good.!

[whistleblowers]

Thks bro for all the nice jokes.

Hope to read more jokes.

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Haha more laughter best medicine...

Just love this one...

🌞🔳Virginity is like a Balloon🎈, One prick👈 and it's gone for ever!

🔳Sex is like a pack of Chips🍟, Once you start!
You can't stop😝!

🔳An Exam paper📝 is like a Dick 🍌, When it's hard! People get fucked!🎍

🔳Education🏨 is like hiring a prostitute💃, It needs both your money💰 and your hardwork 😓...👤!

🔳💰💳Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand👋 can let you achieve it!

🔳Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !👙👙

🔳 Fuck a woman and she Loves you. When u Love a woman she Fucks you.😳😳

🔳MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.😜😜

🔳The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!😝😝

🔳Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It's Enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up😜😜

🔳Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute😰😰

🔳If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation! 😉😉

🔳If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible, ask him to wear condom after sex!💄😱

So basically life is 👙PORNOGRAPHY👙
😂😂😂😂

Don't laugh alone share it with friends!! 😆😆😆😆
This is fucking too good.!