Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

Why do we write "M" like this straight and "W" in the opposite way?

Because Men think straight and Women think in the opposite way.

Yesterday I was going up in the lift. Suddenly a lady carrying a child entered the lift.
Holding the lift button, I asked the lady - "second or third"?

She got angry and said- This child is not mine and it belongs to the neighbour..
🤪🤪🤣🤣

[Hurricane88]

More jokes...

[Hurricane88]

repeated jokes...

[etsys]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

The student replied, "Wallah Habibi, from back there I thought you said "Goats."

I think I saw this joke just above yours

[Hurricane88]

*Friends who are 50 years plus now*😊not to miss the story

A German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!" says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther.....So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"

But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
(This made me smile&#128513

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!" 😁😁

*Moral of this story...*

1. Don't mess with old dogs

2. Age & skill will always overcome youth & treachery

3. Bullshit & brilliance only come with age & experience

If u don't send this to 5 'old' friends right away, there will be 5 fewer people laughing in the world.😊
To my OLD friends 😁😜

[hi4u]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*Moral of this story...*

1. Don't mess with old dogs

2. Age & skill will always overcome youth & treachery

3. Bullshit & brilliance only come with age & experience

If u don't send this to 5 'old' friends right away, there will be 5 fewer people laughing in the world.😊
To my OLD friends 😁😜

Very funny and true. Thanks.

[tamu]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Why do we write "M" like this straight and "W" in the opposite way?

Because Men think straight and Women think in the opposite way.

Yesterday I was going up in the lift. Suddenly a lady carrying a child entered the lift.
Holding the lift button, I asked the lady - "second or third"?

She got angry and said- This child is not mine and it belongs to the neighbour..
🤪🤪🤣🤣

Good laugh.
Thanks for shairng nice jokes

[waynelimzz]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

She got angry and said- This child is not mine and it belongs to the neighbour..
🤪🤪🤣🤣

LMAO thanks for nice joke bro

[Handonovic]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

If u don't send this to 5 'old' friends right away, there will be 5 fewer people laughing in the world.😊
To my OLD friends 😁😜

Good share bro, tks.

[NuclearBlonde]

Originally Posted by liebherr

Nice joke, will share with female colleagues

[sandhi]

Originally Posted by StrongBrew

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.""Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted.
After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George."I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared."Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister.""Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."

Wahahahaa very good joke bro!!

[Hurricane88]

more weekend jokes...

[temi]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

more weekend jokes...

Bro, thank you for nice laughable joke.

[JustSlapIT49]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Thanks for nice joke bro Hurricane88

[CafeKarima]

Originally Posted by StrongBrew

….. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, dear, tell us what it's like to have sex with a
ghost?'

The student replied, "Wallah Habibi, from back there I thought you said "Goats."

ROFL nice share bro