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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
nice share bro!
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
BOB HOPE
With all the grim news worldwide, much needed laughs from old friend Bob Hope ... ‘ On his deathbed they asked him where he wanted to be buried. Bob Hope replied: "Surprise me." I had forgotten that he lived to be 100, and it has been almost 17 years since he died. For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your grandparents and thanks for the memories. This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference.... ON TURNING 70 - "I still chase women, but only downhill." ON TURNING 80 - "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.” ON TURNING 90 - "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." ON TURNING 100 - " I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap." ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER (BOXING) - "I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them." ON GOLF - "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees." ON PRESIDENTS - "I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six." ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER - "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, congratulations, you have an eight pound ham." ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL - "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it." ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY - "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother." ON HIS SIX BROTHERS - "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom." ON HIS EARLY FAILURES - "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me." ON GOING TO HEAVEN - "I have done benefits for ALL religions. I would hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality." Dear Lord - Please give me a sense of humor, give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life, and pass it on to other folk. To the person receiving this, please have the grace to pass it on to others. Learn from yesterday, live for today, keep one hand on your wallet and don't worry about tomorrow..
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Jokes...
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Info threads are for field reports...if you want to chat post in tcss thread Please do not post when you PM somebody Please Do Not reply long post, always edit... may zap and remove post |
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
nice shares bros
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch." |
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
THE SINGAPORE DILEMMA
Do you know why Singapore can't have Tharman Shanmugaratnam as next PM? Singapore's leadership would then look like this ... #01 Indian PM - Tharman Shanmugaratnam #02 Indian President - Halimah Yacob #03 Indian Minister of Foreign Affairs - Vivian Balakrishnan #04 Indian Minister of Home Affairs - K Shanmugam #05 Indian Minister of Law - also K Shanmugam #06 Indian Chief Justice - Sundaresh Menon #07 Indian CEO of largest Singapore bank - Piyush Gupta #08 Indian MD of Central Bank or MAS - Ravi Menon #09 Indian Opposition Leader - Pritam Singh And if this happens we hv to renamed Singapore as Singapuram 🤣🤣🤣
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
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