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  #12286  
Old 10-10-2020, 07:37 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by garion View Post


enjoy............................................
I need this..
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  #12287  
Old 11-10-2020, 09:01 AM
LucusVenus LucusVenus is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by garion View Post


enjoy............................................
nice share bro!
  #12288  
Old 11-10-2020, 03:34 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

laughter bumps...
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  #12289  
Old 11-10-2020, 04:05 PM
35cents 35cents is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

LOL dis seems local.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88 View Post
More jokes...



  #12290  
Old 12-10-2020, 07:57 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀғʀᴀɪᴅ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ.
..........................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛo ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ.
........................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴇᴀsʏ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴅɪғғɪᴄᴜʟᴛ. ɴᴏᴡᴀᴅᴀʏs ɪᴛ ɪs ᴅɪғғɪᴄᴜʟᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇ ɪs sᴏ ᴇᴀsʏ.
.........................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴡᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀs.
.......................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴠɪʟʟᴀɢᴇʀs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ғʟᴏᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ғɪɴᴅ ᴊᴏʙs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ғʟᴇᴇɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ CITY ᴛᴏ ғɪɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ.
......................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ғᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ. ɴᴏᴡᴀᴅᴀʏs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴅɪᴇᴛs ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ.
........................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ʀɪᴄʜ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ. ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʀɪᴄʜ.
.........................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴡᴏʀᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ. ɴᴏᴡ ᴀʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴛᴏ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ.
..........................................
*40 ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴀɢᴏ*, ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴜᴅʏ & ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʙᴏᴏᴋs. ɴᴏᴡ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ & ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛsᴀᴘᴘ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇs.

*40 YEARS WAS 1980..WHICH SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY!*

*REFLECT ON ALL THE ABOVE REALISTIC FACTS*

These are hard ғᴀᴄᴛ of ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ's ʟɪғᴇ.
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  #12291  
Old 12-10-2020, 07:58 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

BOB HOPE

With all the grim news worldwide, much needed laughs from old friend Bob Hope ...
‘ On his deathbed they asked him where he wanted to be buried. Bob Hope replied: "Surprise me."

I had forgotten that he lived to be 100, and it has been almost 17 years since he died.

For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your grandparents and thanks for the memories.

This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference....

ON TURNING 70 - "I still chase women, but only downhill."

ON TURNING 80 - "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.”

ON TURNING 90 - "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

ON TURNING 100 - " I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER (BOXING) - "I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them."

ON GOLF - "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."

ON PRESIDENTS - "I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six."

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER - "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, congratulations, you have an eight pound ham."

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL - "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY - "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS - "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom."

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES - "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."

ON GOING TO HEAVEN - "I have done benefits for ALL religions. I would hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

Dear Lord -
Please give me a sense of humor,
give me the grace to see a joke,
to get some humor out of life,
and pass it on to other folk.

To the person receiving this, please have the grace to pass it on to others.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, keep one hand on your wallet and don't worry about tomorrow..
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  #12292  
Old 12-10-2020, 10:10 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

blob:https://web.whatsapp.com/609a51e3-57...6-7e58288ab20b
  #12293  
Old 12-10-2020, 10:25 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

  #12294  
Old 13-10-2020, 05:49 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Jokes...


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  #12295  
Old 13-10-2020, 08:56 PM
ttt123 ttt123 is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

nice shares bros
  #12296  
Old 13-10-2020, 10:28 PM
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Arrow Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
  #12297  
Old 13-10-2020, 10:30 PM
garion garion is offline
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Arrow Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
  #12298  
Old 14-10-2020, 10:50 AM
BK4ever BK4ever is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by garion View Post
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
couldn't stop laughing, this is funny.
  #12299  
Old 14-10-2020, 03:56 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

THE SINGAPORE DILEMMA

Do you know why Singapore can't have Tharman Shanmugaratnam as next PM?

Singapore's leadership would then look like this ...

#01 Indian PM
- Tharman Shanmugaratnam

#02 Indian President
- Halimah Yacob

#03 Indian Minister of Foreign Affairs
- Vivian Balakrishnan

#04 Indian Minister of Home Affairs
- K Shanmugam

#05 Indian Minister of Law
- also K Shanmugam

#06 Indian Chief Justice
- Sundaresh Menon

#07 Indian CEO of largest Singapore bank
- Piyush Gupta

#08 Indian MD of Central Bank or MAS
- Ravi Menon

#09 Indian Opposition Leader
- Pritam Singh

And if this happens we hv to renamed Singapore as Singapuram 🤣🤣🤣
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  #12300  
Old 14-10-2020, 04:29 PM
52minutes 52minutes is offline
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88 View Post
THE SINGAPORE DILEMMA

Do you know why Singapore can't have Tharman Shanmugaratnam as next PM?

Singapore's leadership would then look like this ...

#01 Indian PM
- Tharman Shanmugaratnam

#02 Indian President
- Halimah Yacob

#03 Indian Minister of Foreign Affairs
- Vivian Balakrishnan

#04 Indian Minister of Home Affairs
- K Shanmugam

#05 Indian Minister of Law
- also K Shanmugam

#06 Indian Chief Justice
- Sundaresh Menon

#07 Indian CEO of largest Singapore bank
- Piyush Gupta

#08 Indian MD of Central Bank or MAS
- Ravi Menon

#09 Indian Opposition Leader
- Pritam Singh

And if this happens we hv to renamed Singapore as Singapuram 🤣🤣🤣
I only want #09, the rest FO
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