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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #46  
Old 30-07-2022, 12:18 AM
zzroid zzroid is offline
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

Hi bro, I'm a young guy in my early 20s as well. Had an ex-gf and somewhat sexless relationship in the sense that we didn't do it much. I am biased here based on personal experience, so take this with a grain of salt, but I believe the main issue is usually on the girl's side, especially on the communication and/or initiation front. It's a two-hands-to-clap thing, especially when sex is more than just carnal exchange of desires, so don't be too hard on yourself.

You mentioned that you're addicted to pornography, which is definitely a major issue and has been studied to be linked to ED and delayed ejaculation etc. It would be best to quit. That said, a relationship takes two to tango, it's one thing that you're having issues but another entirely that there's little cooperation/encouragement on the partner's end.

On a separate issue, you mentioned about "fucking around". Honestly? Deep down, my parents raised me to be a man who is courteous and chivalrous, to treat girls well. But looking at our society, filled with superficiality and double standards, is morality and being grounded in one's principles even worth-while anymore? Is it better to just mess around regardless? Should you cheat on the side, especially if it might help you cope with some harsh stress in life? Maybe. I don't know the answers to these as I'm still "searching" for my goals. That said, I know for sure that it's one thing to be optimistic and another to be blindly idealistic. Seems like the reality for most, average SG guys (from people I've spoken to at least), sex life or relationship life for that matter, is bleak.

At least we've got each other 😎. Cheers bro!
  #47  
Old 14-08-2022, 01:50 PM
Lordofkorat Lordofkorat is offline
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmelater View Post
I had that feeling with my recent ex. At first, I thought I could take it, but this thing ate away at my perseverance. One day, I drank a bit and was a bit high. I wanted her. She then rejected me again (as usual). There and then, I returned all her stuff in a fit of anger.

I know myself too well. If I cannot have what I want, someday I would still "eat out". Its pointless to persist and ultimately... its inevitable.
yea it definitely affects the relationship. well for my side partly my fault due to work. but i am in a clearing debt urgent situation so i was very focused to settle financial issues first. ultimately she left for someone who can satisfy her haha.
  #48  
Old 14-08-2022, 05:38 PM
supershaft supershaft is offline
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supershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant futuresupershaft has a brilliant future
Re: Worries about my sexual life

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamelame76 View Post
Im in my late 20s and I have a gf of 3 years and we recently BTOed. We rarely have arguments, and our personalities suit each other a lot with frequent bantering.

The issue lies within the bedroom. We rarely have sex (probably once in a few months) as I just do not have the mood for it, even though I genuinely care for her and really like spending time with her. She herself doesnt watch porn and the few times we do have sex, she doesnt really turn me on, doesnt do blowjobs and I cant sustain an erection past about 2 minutes unless I penetrate her. The latest time we had sex, we did it outdoors to sustain my excitement but I dont think it is a workable solution in the long term.

I'm thinking a possible issue might be I am addicted to porn. Every day I get home from work, I scroll websites like SBF, Pornhub etc. as a habit. From outdoor fucks, hidden cameras, local leaks, i search for all these every single day. Another issue might be stress related - I have been dealing with anxiety the past year and although I can hide it with friends, I end up with insomnia and that seemed to coincide with my reduction in sex life with my gf.

So just need some advice - am I addicted to porn? I cant bring myself to stop this habit. Or i may just have erection problems. But looking at the bigger picture, I am more afraid this will cause cracks in my relationship. Occasionally I go for MLs for release (even then this effect seems to be wearing off) but I am more afraid this could end up with an affair (which is a totally different story) in the future. I love her, but the sexual part of the relationship might be a ticking time bomb and I feel paranoid by it after reading stories on this forum. Even now, there are times when I have thoughts like "if only Im unattached, I could try attempting to fuck around" even though I have neither looks nor money.

Has any bro here encountered any similar situation? If the above post makes you think that I am confused and/or paranoid, thats because I am.

Thanks in advance bros.
force yourself to make love to her... after some time, maybe ur body will get used to it.
  #49  
Old 17-08-2022, 05:15 PM
mrbigsword mrbigsword is offline
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamelame76 View Post
Im in my late 20s and I have a gf of 3 years and we recently BTOed. We rarely have arguments, and our personalities suit each other a lot with frequent bantering.

The issue lies within the bedroom. We rarely have sex (probably once in a few months) as I just do not have the mood for it, even though I genuinely care for her and really like spending time with her. She herself doesnt watch porn and the few times we do have sex, she doesnt really turn me on, doesnt do blowjobs and I cant sustain an erection past about 2 minutes unless I penetrate her. The latest time we had sex, we did it outdoors to sustain my excitement but I dont think it is a workable solution in the long term.

I'm thinking a possible issue might be I am addicted to porn. Every day I get home from work, I scroll websites like SBF, Pornhub etc. as a habit. From outdoor fucks, hidden cameras, local leaks, i search for all these every single day. Another issue might be stress related - I have been dealing with anxiety the past year and although I can hide it with friends, I end up with insomnia and that seemed to coincide with my reduction in sex life with my gf.

So just need some advice - am I addicted to porn? I cant bring myself to stop this habit. Or i may just have erection problems. But looking at the bigger picture, I am more afraid this will cause cracks in my relationship. Occasionally I go for MLs for release (even then this effect seems to be wearing off) but I am more afraid this could end up with an affair (which is a totally different story) in the future. I love her, but the sexual part of the relationship might be a ticking time bomb and I feel paranoid by it after reading stories on this forum. Even now, there are times when I have thoughts like "if only Im unattached, I could try attempting to fuck around" even though I have neither looks nor money.

Has any bro here encountered any similar situation? If the above post makes you think that I am confused and/or paranoid, thats because I am.

Thanks in advance bros.

Hey bro,

1.) Try reducing watching porn or avoid it for a week or 2.
2.) Avoid ejaculation during this period.
3.) Set a date to make love.
4.) Keep your orgasm only with her.

I have nothing against porn. Big fan of JAV MILF, NTR or TEEN. Chatrooms are amazing too. You can tell being a connoisseur of these genres makes me somewhat of a pervert, but I appreciate the production qualities of these videos. The bizarre storylines are exciting. The trouble is these categories or videos are too exciting compared to real life. It's easy to become desensitised after a while. I remember suffering from premature ejaculation when I had a stash of these nasty dopamine-inducing stuff that goes up to almost a terabyte. The brain is an amazing organ, if you overstimulate it, the lighter pleasures become not pleasurable anymore. Smoking one cigarette used to satisfy me, however, now a minimum of 3 fulfils my cravings.

TLDR: Deleted most of the naughty videos and channelled my sexual drive to real life.
  #50  
Old 18-08-2022, 12:49 PM
kakasika kakasika is offline
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Re: Worries about my sexual life

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrbigsword View Post
Hey bro,

1.) Try reducing watching porn or avoid it for a week or 2.
2.) Avoid ejaculation during this period.
3.) Set a date to make love.
4.) Keep your orgasm only with her.

I have nothing against porn. Big fan of JAV MILF, NTR or TEEN. Chatrooms are amazing too. You can tell being a connoisseur of these genres makes me somewhat of a pervert, but I appreciate the production qualities of these videos. The bizarre storylines are exciting. The trouble is these categories or videos are too exciting compared to real life. It's easy to become desensitised after a while. I remember suffering from premature ejaculation when I had a stash of these nasty dopamine-inducing stuff that goes up to almost a terabyte. The brain is an amazing organ, if you overstimulate it, the lighter pleasures become not pleasurable anymore. Smoking one cigarette used to satisfy me, however, now a minimum of 3 fulfils my cravings.

TLDR: Deleted most of the naughty videos and channelled my sexual drive to real life.
using smoking as a comparison it is somewhat true and our human bodies are habitual creatures. i used to smoke alot and gradual cut down from 2 pack 1 day to now 1 pack 2 to 3 days
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