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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 09-08-2022, 07:42 AM
enzomatrix enzomatrix is offline
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by Willamshakspear View Post
Women are temperamental & often have mood swings. We men will just have to accept such biological facts & be matured about it, with patience, & when her mood swing calms down, then explain & discussed the issues & try to find solutions to resolve situations...

It seems you are going thru only minor domestic issues. It is only normal in relationships & marriage. Life is a journey & not a bed of roses daily. You will have to just ride it out & stay calm, never to over react. Give her space & time to heal, to get over it as she eventually will. She is no longer a kid.

It is good that you had made peace with your in laws. You will need all the support you can get to reconciliate with your wife & save the marriage.

Divorce is just a signature on a piece of paper, but it is a major decision in life that comes with consequences that will affect all in life for decades-you, wife & kid.

Let time heal. All the best.

She does not seems to tell me what is really the issue. She kept changing words. Indeed marriage is a lifelong commitment and no 2 person is perfect. It takes adapting and acceptance. Communication is important to understand each other's boundaries.

But she refuse to tell me what's wrong. Her parents told me they dunno too. Then how can we resolve?

Yesterday she told me to stop using our kid as a reason to continue. See no point in continuing but the fact is kid is always a factor, changes to kid, damage to them, it's one of the main things that will happen. We both love him but why r we not doing the best for him.
  #17  
Old 09-08-2022, 08:24 AM
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Keep calm. Do not be confrontational. Use positve engagement instead. No pressure. Give it some time for her to calm down

Then find a good time. Build up the mood. Roses, music, fine wine, her favourite food, plenty of smiles even if inside you are crylng..

Gently lead her from small talk to issues you want to discuss, no holds barred, even discuss about her bf, an open talk, nothing too small or big to discuss, ultimately, only realities to confront...
  #18  
Old 09-08-2022, 12:10 PM
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Re: Divorce advise

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Originally Posted by AnnieYJL View Post
Just wondering why this started? Kind of scary this was planned for so long. I can’t really imagine that kind of flawless planning.
This is actually quite common - women tend to have a tendency to plot these things, no doubt they would have sought the advice from friends as well as a sympathetic lawyer. You never hear of guys planning to hide the kids from their mothers (I was a rare case, my logic at that time was that I did not want my daughter to witness the fight that is sure to erupt between my then-wife and I, when I found out about her affair). At that time my then-wife has left the house to stay with the other man.

It also comes down to the general idea (which is actually quite correct) that the courts tend to award care and control to the mother and not to the father. Again I was a rare case, I have care and control over both my kids)

When women hear about my case they tend to wonder, how badly did my ex wife fuck up that she could lose care and control over the children, she also had zero alimony and only her proportionate share of the house with not a single cent extra

In the end, when a divorce happens the courts look at the well-being of the children basis the representations made by each parent. With care and control comes the right of retaining all assets and zero alimony for the wife.
  #19  
Old 09-08-2022, 12:24 PM
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Re: Divorce advise

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Originally Posted by enzomatrix View Post
She does not seems to tell me what is really the issue. She kept changing words. Indeed marriage is a lifelong commitment and no 2 person is perfect. It takes adapting and acceptance. Communication is important to understand each other's boundaries.

But she refuse to tell me what's wrong. Her parents told me they dunno too. Then how can we resolve?

Yesterday she told me to stop using our kid as a reason to continue. See no point in continuing but the fact is kid is always a factor, changes to kid, damage to them, it's one of the main things that will happen. We both love him but why r we not doing the best for him.
If the wife cannot be upfront about the reason why you two are breaking up, it is virtually certain that another man is involved

Do not rush and try to find out his identity, keep cool as much as possible. Their horniness will lead to carelessness and they will surely arrange to meet. Collect enough evidence, not for the sake of getting a divorce but to display certain aspects of her character in Family Court (if you wish to fight for Care and Control).

Remember that Revenge is a dish best served cold. I exposed the identity of my ex-wife's first lover by arranging for the court server to serve his notice to attend court, during morning assembly. He was teaching in a Convent school as a teacher - the school principal straightaway put him on leave and shortly after he lost his job. There isn't much sympathy for people like that. He was single and he fucked another person's wife, so pretty much gg when his identity is revealed.

I also learnt that once someone cheats, he or she will surely cheat again. So over time there were more and more third parties and I finally accepted the bitter truth and moved on. Along the way I learnt many useful tips and tricks about the law - I learnt, for example how useless a PPO is and also how to draw the line so you can hurt someone without being arrested. Police are generally sympathetic to the party that they deem to be the "wronged" party and will exercise prosecutorial discretion.
  #20  
Old 10-08-2022, 08:39 PM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by Penguin23 View Post
If the wife cannot be upfront about the reason why you two are breaking up, it is virtually certain that another man is involved

Do not rush and try to find out his identity, keep cool as much as possible. Their horniness will lead to carelessness and they will surely arrange to meet. Collect enough evidence, not for the sake of getting a divorce but to display certain aspects of her character in Family Court (if you wish to fight for Care and Control).

Remember that Revenge is a dish best served cold. I exposed the identity of my ex-wife's first lover by arranging for the court server to serve his notice to attend court, during morning assembly. He was teaching in a Convent school as a teacher - the school principal straightaway put him on leave and shortly after he lost his job. There isn't much sympathy for people like that. He was single and he fucked another person's wife, so pretty much gg when his identity is revealed.

I also learnt that once someone cheats, he or she will surely cheat again. So over time there were more and more third parties and I finally accepted the bitter truth and moved on. Along the way I learnt many useful tips and tricks about the law - I learnt, for example how useless a PPO is and also how to draw the line so you can hurt someone without being arrested. Police are generally sympathetic to the party that they deem to be the "wronged" party and will exercise prosecutorial discretion.
You are so experience. I am curious about this situation. I presume you are a very faithful husband who doesn’t touch any other women? And your wife is a promiscuous woman that had affairs with a lot of men? Hence this resulted in her unable to get a reasonable alimony?

Personally I spoke to some of my girlfriends and I had frank conservation with my husband. It seems that men always try to be naughty once in a while. When they go overseas, they love to go to places where there are pretty women who are scantily dressed and they do all kinds of activities. However, they are offended when their wives starts to wear skimpy clothes and head out together. I don’t quite understand the logic. I am quite sure it takes both hands to clap. I have a friend that slogged hard to take care of 2 children and sacrifice her career and become a housewife to take care of her children. In the end, the husband left her for another hotter PRC women and dump both his children to my friend. Her husband also wants to declare bankrupt to avoid paying alimony. Sometimes I attend weddings and I start to think weeding vows becomes more of a formality than sincerity.

Kind of scary to just think about all these. Open to hear some perspective.
  #21  
Old 11-08-2022, 12:48 AM
bignehneh bignehneh is offline
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Re: Divorce advise

Most of us
(1) wants to have occasional sex with hot milf colleagues, neighbours but doesn’t allow wife to do the same
(2) Blame wife for nagging too much and giving too little sex
(3) See and get distracted by other big tits/ SYT and slutty face
(4) Love other girl because their bbbj/ FJ skill is like prostitutes whereas wife = dead fish
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  #22  
Old 11-08-2022, 08:40 AM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieYJL View Post
You are so experience. I am curious about this situation. I presume you are a very faithful husband who doesn’t touch any other women? And your wife is a promiscuous woman that had affairs with a lot of men? Hence this resulted in her unable to get a reasonable alimony?

Personally I spoke to some of my girlfriends and I had frank conservation with my husband. It seems that men always try to be naughty once in a while. When they go overseas, they love to go to places where there are pretty women who are scantily dressed and they do all kinds of activities. However, they are offended when their wives starts to wear skimpy clothes and head out together. I don’t quite understand the logic. I am quite sure it takes both hands to clap. I have a friend that slogged hard to take care of 2 children and sacrifice her career and become a housewife to take care of her children. In the end, the husband left her for another hotter PRC women and dump both his children to my friend. Her husband also wants to declare bankrupt to avoid paying alimony. Sometimes I attend weddings and I start to think weeding vows becomes more of a formality than sincerity.

Kind of scary to just think about all these. Open to hear some perspective.
general MEN's ego at play. its a trophy when they mng to F other men's wife, but on contra, a Big humiliation if other men F theirs. they understd the rules of the game tat if wives dresses/behave to attract attentions, its like openin a window for such opportunity & they wont wana risk it.
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  #23  
Old 11-08-2022, 10:31 AM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieYJL View Post
You are so experience. I am curious about this situation. I presume you are a very faithful husband who doesn’t touch any other women? And your wife is a promiscuous woman that had affairs with a lot of men? Hence this resulted in her unable to get a reasonable alimony?

Personally I spoke to some of my girlfriends and I had frank conservation with my husband. It seems that men always try to be naughty once in a while. When they go overseas, they love to go to places where there are pretty women who are scantily dressed and they do all kinds of activities. However, they are offended when their wives starts to wear skimpy clothes and head out together. I don’t quite understand the logic. I am quite sure it takes both hands to clap. I have a friend that slogged hard to take care of 2 children and sacrifice her career and become a housewife to take care of her children. In the end, the husband left her for another hotter PRC women and dump both his children to my friend. Her husband also wants to declare bankrupt to avoid paying alimony. Sometimes I attend weddings and I start to think weeding vows becomes more of a formality than sincerity.

Kind of scary to just think about all these. Open to hear some perspective.
You are right about wedding vows being a formality. because the society has changed alot. people are weak. they face a problem they divorce. marriage no longer has meaning. new generation only know how to run away from problems in general. in the above mentioned scenario, i am not saying the husband is not at fault for cheating, but there has to be effort from both sides to stay attracted to one another. why so little divorce in the old times of our grandparents ? got problem they face it. Now ? children a little hyperactive, its a ADHD disorder. everything is sick here sick there. Lucky when I was a kid ADHD not yet introduced. if not i also recorded as a kid with disorder.

takes both hands to clap yes its true. just like me being cheated on by my gf of 3 years and we were making marriage plans.
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  #24  
Old 11-08-2022, 10:32 AM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by bignehneh View Post
Most of us
(1) wants to have occasional sex with hot milf colleagues, neighbours but doesn’t allow wife to do the same
(2) Blame wife for nagging too much and giving too little sex
(3) See and get distracted by other big tits/ SYT and slutty face
(4) Love other girl because their bbbj/ FJ skill is like prostitutes whereas wife = dead fish
I agree so a certain extent, both parties satisfy all needs, they wont look else where.
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  #25  
Old 11-08-2022, 11:28 AM
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Re: Divorce advise

the wife is holding the child hostage to force the husband to meet her divorce demands.
the only rationale way to deal with it is to ignore it and soon she will realise that her efforts have failed.
Do you have to heart to ignore it and not see your child? or just surrender to her demands.
  #26  
Old 11-08-2022, 10:27 PM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by fallen11 View Post
the wife is holding the child hostage to force the husband to meet her divorce demands.
the only rationale way to deal with it is to ignore it and soon she will realise that her efforts have failed.
Do you have to heart to ignore it and not see your child? or just surrender to her demands.
My friend’s husband don’t want his kids and he is happy that he doesn’t have any burdens anymore. He wants to have kids with his new gf. Some men want kids but don’t want the wife

Very interesting perspective
  #27  
Old 12-08-2022, 10:29 AM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieYJL View Post
My friend’s husband don’t want his kids and he is happy that he doesn’t have any burdens anymore. He wants to have kids with his new gf. Some men want kids but don’t want the wife

Very interesting perspective
probably met women that were not good. i myself divorced because ex wife had flaws that I could not live with
  #28  
Old 12-08-2022, 11:27 AM
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Re: Divorce advise

So you decided? control of the child really depends on the situation, if your wife is able to provide the support, hardly you will get to control as in women chartered, child goes to the mom.
if the child goes to you....will you able to take care of everything? Are you going to save this marriage or not? if she is being unfaithful will you be able to handle the fact once you guys reconciled. Take this time to give yourself a break, do some workout or anything that you desire to do while you wait for her answer. Don't worry too much as worrying can't solve your problem. Life is too short to waste time on worrying. Stay strong improve yourself. All the best to you Bro!
  #29  
Old 12-08-2022, 11:01 PM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by kayakracer View Post
probably met women that were not good. i myself divorced because ex wife had flaws that I could not live with
You got any flaws she can’t take it?
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Old 17-08-2022, 03:30 PM
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Re: Divorce advise

Quote:
Originally Posted by enzomatrix View Post
( Click to show/hide )
Thanks bro. It is scary she planned all this. Asking me to bring bb passport home and make the move and took his birth cert n passport home. There were no telltale signs and we were still playing with bb the night b4 happily.

Basically the last round she ran back 1 yr ago with my kid without sound as well after I used strong words like she be held responsible if anything happen to our kid. Her parents refuse to open the door, after that they accused me and sinsulted me. I couldn't forgive her parents and nowhere to let out, I made a ig story to let out my grievance altho no one ever reads my ig.

She was angry with that I guess. When she finally came home, she changed attitude. She never talked to me, she has to hide from me to change clothes. She washes our clothes but she just keep bb n hers leaving mine hanging there. I always felt alone like living with a stranger who doesn't care for me. I held on, I wanted my kid to have a complete family. I hoped she would open up to me as time goes by but it didn't happen.

Now she is asking me to agree to the terms and she will get the lawyer to draft n send me to sign. I have not received anything yet which I hope she hasn't proceed. But I am asking her to reconsider our relationship, for the sake of bb and us. We can work together to resolve things. I asked her to go counselling together so we can voice our issue out over a neutral party and thru communication we can resolve things.

But she has been rejecting for the past 2 days citing what I did not do for her and even bringing up things that happened many yrs ago.

I'm. Devastated that I cant see my kid. He was asking for me on the phone like papa back? Papa house. He is wondering why I am not fetching them home.

This is the 3rd or 4th time she ran home n denied me access. I'm trying to work it out with her but on the other hand I suspect she is seeing someone outside hence the sudden divorce request.

Infact I tried to call her at 8pm to see my son on video call. She didn't ans while she was online. She msg me later to tell me she call at 11pm. I thought she brought my kid out but when the call came thru, his hair was dry and he was in singlet at 11pm which likely meant she went out alone leaving my kid with her parents. She even muted the call when her mom speak.

I fear there is no hope for reconciliation but based on her family background and her character, I want to get care and control becos she always stop me from seeing my kid. She auto assume she is main care giver and will not let me see my son until I give in to her demands.
Sorry, I find your explanation very contradicting. You said there is no telltale signs yet you said everything changed after she "ran away" 1 year ago. Also that was not the first time she "ran away". How clear a sign do you need?

You said "we were still playing with bb the night b4 happily" but yet "I always felt alone like living with a stranger who doesn't care for me".

Maybe you are not thinking clearly because you are in shock. I urge you to calm down and collect your thoughts. In your current conflicting state, you are gonna loose.
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