Marrying someone you hardly know?

[korean]

Originally Posted by korean

Certain people has the intelligent to know another person pretty well after sometime. The problem is, human mind changes over time. U are only able to know the person at that present, but u can't even predict accurately how the person mind will change over time, coz u don't have the capability to predict the future.

Oops, seems like I've repeated what boss said

[milfmilf]

Originally Posted by korean

Certain people has the intelligent to know another person pretty well after sometime. The problem is, human mind changes over time. U are only able to know the person at that present, but u can't even predict accurately how the person mind will change over time, coz u don't have the capability to predict the future.

use heart, not intelligence

[korean]

Originally Posted by milfmilf

use heart, not intelligence

Both as needed

[LordVader]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

There's no such thing as Mr or Miss "right".

Marriage is a commitment and it's also hard work. It's up to those who get married to honor their vows and work continuously to make things right.

Very true, for every Mr/Mrs Right, there are at least a few thousand more out there that fits the mould.

[Jevv]

this reminds me of a guy fren i knw...

He & ex gf broke off due to a misunderstanding & 6 mths later got together wit Miss A (now oc).
3 months into the relationship with Miss A, he met her parents & her mum casually asked when are they going to get married??...as it was too soon (3 mths r/ship)...he jus told his mum not so soon something like tat..

And when it was just the 2 of them together after tat meet-the-parents session...Miss A asked my fren "My mum asked me when are we going to get married?" He told her tat its too soon, if he were to marry now...his frens will think its shotgun & etc, can they date longer then talk abt marriage?
Miss A was not quite happy then (based on wat my fren described)..."Huh? You mean you have no intention to marry me? If tats the case, we might as well break up now!"

Based on wat he told me..i think its bcoze Miss A is no longer young..She was 29 yrs old when they dated. But b4 that, she was wit her ex-bf for 5 years...my fren cited mayb her ex-bf "drag" her for so long hence she wanted to get married My fren was in his early 30s then.

So they ended up getting married...from pak tor to getting married its within 2 years..nope, not shotgun. They had a baby 1 yr later after getting married..

oohh yah, I mentioned abt my fren & his ex-gf tat they broke off due to a misunderstanding rite? One mth before his wedding, he contacted her after 2 yrs of no contact...now they r getting in close contact based on wat he described...reliving the good old days

He did shared tat his oc is controlling but not to the extreme, in order to save the trouble of explaining more things to her...his oc hv contact numbers of his colleagues, frens & etc. Miss A have his ex-gf hp number as well..she checks on his FB profile at times & blocked tat ex-gf from his FB contact.

[Greenfrog]

Originally Posted by korean

Certain people has the intelligent to know another person pretty well after sometime. The problem is, human mind changes over time. U are only able to know the person at that present, but u can't even predict accurately how the person mind will change over time, coz u don't have the capability to predict the future.

Priorities change, but the basic nature and character of the person will never change.

[linrx]

Originally Posted by furritales

need some advice from bros and sisters out there....

recently 2 people very close to me had asked me some questions... they do not know each other yet both of them are in similar situations..

both of them (female) are in their late 30s and both currently are dating their partners for around 5 to 8 months. Their partners are both in the late 30s to early 40s. And both couples are already talking about marriage. Both guys are ready for marriage and very keen to settle down.

as much as they wanted very very much to get married and start their family nucleus however they have their concerns: "should i marry now or wait?" if i wait, i be going to 40 and be very high risk for pregnancy.. " "but if i marry now, isit too early? after all we just know each other for like less than a year..."

i very very much would love to tell them not to get married. They might regret marrying this early... after all they only just know their partners... As iam very close to them, my advice would greatly influence their decision..

but they aren't young anymore and i know they been wanting and pinning to get married and have kids. (Peer and family pressure as well)...both work in extremely female orientated environment and having extremely small social circle of friends..

i do not want to say "up to you lor... u wan to marry u go marry la" bcos i care for them and dosent want them to regret their decision.. yet, they desperately want kids..

Am i wrong to tell them not to get married and just wait few more years?

So you never told them that babies come from penises and wombs instead of dates and marriages?

[I1massage]

Originally Posted by furritales

need some advice from bros and sisters out there....

recently 2 people very close to me had asked me some questions... they do not know each other yet both of them are in similar situations..

both of them (female) are in their late 30s and both currently are dating their partners for around 5 to 8 months. Their partners are both in the late 30s to early 40s. And both couples are already talking about marriage. Both guys are ready for marriage and very keen to settle down.

as much as they wanted very very much to get married and start their family nucleus however they have their concerns: "should i marry now or wait?" if i wait, i be going to 40 and be very high risk for pregnancy.. " "but if i marry now, isit too early? after all we just know each other for like less than a year..."

i very very much would love to tell them not to get married. They might regret marrying this early... after all they only just know their partners... As iam very close to them, my advice would greatly influence their decision..

but they aren't young anymore and i know they been wanting and pinning to get married and have kids. (Peer and family pressure as well)...both work in extremely female orientated environment and having extremely small social circle of friends..

i do not want to say "up to you lor... u wan to marry u go marry la" bcos i care for them and dosent want them to regret their decision.. yet, they desperately want kids..

Am i wrong to tell them not to get married and just wait few more years?

There is no right or wrong / yes or no. It more the chemistry and experience. I married to PRC gal less than a year and now 16 years later we are still together with additional 2 children.

[curious76]

Originally Posted by I1massage

There is no right or wrong / yes or no. It more the chemistry and experience. I married to PRC gal less than a year and now 16 years later we are still together with additional 2 children.

I will say it depends on fate. Sometime situation can make a person change.

[hijav]

Jevv, your fren is a wimp. I would have just broken up with dat gal.

I had a fren who married in 7 months afterknowing the guy and within a year, was already contemplating divorce.

[terrorise]

The question is can your friend define 'hardly know' versus 'Very sure' ?? Marriage is about living life together for a long long time after, and by that meaning each of us will be learning something different about each other each day.
There's no definite answer to "How much do you know him/her" but instead i would like to put it, "How much are you willing to know him/her".

Sure your friend will have tons of questions in her head asking herself if she's gonna be ready and make the right choice. That's life, everything is about choices, from the moment we all wakes up everyday every action is a choice. That doesn't mean anything guaranteed for us, there might be good results there might be bad results but there wont be no results.

The only uncertainty in our lives is when we have no results, because we didn't attempt to do it and that myth will follow you forever hopefully one day you don't see it as a regret.

There's alot of mixed feelings and considerations for this matter, but importantly, how important is this to your friend ? Does she want this bad enough ? Love cannot be measured by time, for Love represents the symbol of commitment. Only with commitments love exists.

Hope my advice is not too complicated

[I1massage]

Originally Posted by curious76

I will say it depends on fate. Sometime situation can make a person change.

Yes, fate is one, but most important is the commitment and compromise to make it last....despite our chinese horoscope completely crash each other...

[peanutbutterjel]

Boss speaking very good sense in this thread.

Sharing bite-sized food for thought:
Its about marrying first and falling in love later.
http://romanticupdates.com/2015/04/3...in-love-later/

[Jevv]

Originally Posted by hijav

Jevv, your fren is a wimp. I would have just broken up with dat gal.

I had a fren who married in 7 months afterknowing the guy and within a year, was already contemplating divorce.

u mean wat? My fren shld hv broken up wit tat gal (his OC now)?

3 mths into the r/ship...OC alrdy opened her mouth & talked abt marriage thingy liao...citing its her mum who asked when they r getting married? Mus stand in her shoes to think mah...She was 29 when she knew my fren, my fren was 32...to talk abt marriage i guess its a sooner or later matter since like tat, might as well talk now lo..
I asked him..when he invited his frens to his wedding were they surprised? (coze very fast) He said no..coze his age is there alrdy...

fast forward to now...they r gg to b married for 3 yrs liao...nw expecting baby no 2 in July, but my fren outside also got affair (he is with his ex gf- the gf b4 his current OC)

divorce is easy when no kids r involved...got kids, u wanna leave have to think xxxx times

[Archerguard]

Originally Posted by peanutbutterjel

Boss speaking very good sense in this thread.

Sharing bite-sized food for thought:
Its about marrying first and falling in love later.

Hellen Chen sounds right.

pbj, let's get married!

you marry me or i marry you? which do you prefer?