Get a harder/better erection masterbating compared to having sex?

[Shocking_vibes]

I was thinking of my past sexual escapades and then something did strike me. A few of those encounters i recalled not really getting a very hard erection or i needed some time to get a hard erection.

Then when i do a self HJ i can easily get a harder erection or it doesn't matter how long i take to erect obviously.

I'm thinking is it cos of performance anxiety? Or something else.


Also i do recall having to actually think of another girl or in fact reenact some porn scene i watched before when having sex with one particular chick if i didn't do that i couldn't get a hard erection. I mean that's kind of weird isn't it?

I'm thinking is this something psychological and how to fix it?

[jonni17]

Sometimes it could be you PCC too much. Hold off for a bit if you think you getting lucky tmr/soon.

Also, go do some workout, get your body and fitness back in shape. That should help too since personally, I feel performance and health/fitness is co-related.

[Sex4Love]

Hi Shocking Vibes,

Not to worry. At times, guys like us have some performance anxiety problems, such as feel like not hard enough, afraid of disappointing your chick, etc. Sometimes stress from work and other aspects of your life can play a part.

If you need to fantasize some porn stuff or think of some nice chicks to get you hard, it is perfectly ok, you are not weird. Don't stop from doing this if such a way can help you to get hard.

If you know your chick well, you can also get her or guide her how to touch you or stimulate you to make you get high, or doing anything such as dressing in the same way or act in the same manner as a dream girl you fantasize on if this can turn you on. Sex is a 2-way traffic and it is a 2-person task, both also plays a part in making love more enjoyable.

If I ask you not to worry or think too much can be difficult, a good way to overcome this is to focus on your chick, focus on her body, focus on how to turn her on, a chick can get high even without penetration, go on making her high, if she gets high enough, ask her to reciprocate and take turns to get you high in return. If watching porn is effective for you, before making love, you can watch a bit of porn with her or alone. If you still worry a bit, just drink a very small amount of liquor, careful, not too much as to get you drunk. Keep focusing on ways to make you high and get your chick to help you if possible. Your problem is mainly psychological and can be easily cured.

I hope you have a happy sex life from now on.

Make love more, don't make more enemies.

[*FiReWoRkS*]

i have this problem too..think it affects most guys every now and then..

most likely should be psychological since our brain is the most powerful sexual generator of our body..perhaps you just ain't horny enough? ain't stimulated enough?

i do think of other women when bonking..as long as the method works don't think you should worry too much..till you have problem getting it up physically it should not bother you too much..

happy bonking..cheers

[Shocking_vibes]

Originally Posted by Sex4Love

Hi Shocking Vibes,

Not to worry. At times, guys like us have some performance anxiety problems, such as feel like not hard enough, afraid of disappointing your chick, etc. Sometimes stress from work and other aspects of your life can play a part.

If you need to fantasize some porn stuff or think of some nice chicks to get you hard, it is perfectly ok, you are not weird. Don't stop from doing this if such a way can help you to get hard.

..............

Hey thanks for all the advice and yes also when i started daily exercise find erection is better compared to last time. Cheers.

[freezetheDB]

also
too much porn might affect performance, as the OC might not be as chio or as sexy as the AV girls.

cut off abit on the porn, let the body rest abit without pcc
with some exercise the engine will be back stronger

[alvin36]

Nice topic for discussion. I'm in my late 30s, married for 10+ years.... I had this problem with OC too... but no such problem with FL, FB, or massage gals

I think few possible reasons...
1. sex with regular partners (OC or gf) becomes too routine
2. partner is not erotic or sexy enough. If her body is not sexy enough, it will help if she put in some sound effect.
3. another possible reason could be due to condom. With condom ON, it becomes less sensitive and tends to get soft easily. Finally I managed to convinced my OC about this. Nowadays, she take pills... no need to wear helmet when doing with OC