Regime imposes Kelantan style Hudud Laws in Little India

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Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/complete-alcohol-ban-this/916850.html

PEASANTPORE: A Kelantan style complete ban on the sale and consumption of alcohol will be imposed this weekend where the riot took place in Little India.

A red faced Second Gestapo Affairs Minion S Is-an-arse said earlier North Matlander's PAS had sent en emissary to Ruler Loong, proposing a alcohol ban as a temporary measure to stabilise the situation on the ground.

He said: "Now we have a chance to act pious. Banglas should not touch liquor and the Nehs should stay sober thereafter and give the Poodles' time to assess the situation. I understand many regime bodies and LTA have simply fuck care peasants' concerns, so this cooling off period will allow us to read previous complaint letters and get some ideas from them to resolve the problem."

Minion S Is-an-arse was speaking to ISD agents pretending to be reporters on Monday evening at Little India, where he met retailers and told them they still must pay rentals on time and refer any claims to their insurers.

He said the Poodles after studying PAS's proposal will implement the ban and communicate to all the liquor merchants in the affected area.

When asked if the regime has paid attention to PAS's example and implement stricter rules on alcohol consumption, that could have helped to avert the riot. However Minion S Is-an-arse side-stepped the issue and claimed said this needs to be thoroughly investigated before a conclusion is made as liquor taxes may be useful for Ho Jinx's punts. Obviously nobody reminded him that many peasants had warn of similar smaller riots caused by drunken nehs and their jay-walking habits on weekends.

But he conceded that it is "plausible" that PAS may be right to ban alcohol consumption if there are large numbers of nehs nearby. Hudud Laws may be imposed on Banglas and whippings will be good deterrence against future Banglas who think they can run amok and riot for fun and get away with it.

On a special episode of Channel NewsAsia's one-hour propoganda programme Talking Point on Monday evening, Minion S Is-an-arse moderated expectations that only some of the perpetrators will be brought to justice as lighting conditions make it difficult to identify the riot starters and agitators.

He stressed that the other important thing is for peasants to remain calm and only listen and believe official propoganda.

Mr Iswaran said: "For many full moons, we allow cheap contractors to import vast numbers of cheap nehs and banglas to service the foreign merchants. If the contractors pay their taxes, make the MNCs happy, then how they abuse their FTs, we close one eye and pretend nothing has happened.

After many abuses, the Nehs and Banglas took to the bottle and it only take a silly incident and presto, perfect riot. But honestly, we do not care, if contractors continues to pay their taxes, read my lips, we close one eye."

Also appearing on Talking Point was soon-to-be-demoted Commander of the Tanglin Poodle Division, Lu Yeow Lim, who shed light on how the 27 individuals were arrested.

To-be-demoted-soon Mr Lu said: "KNN, I was in Tian-nan-men when my lackeys told me Nehs run amok liao. KNNCCB, I stop the party and order the poodles to form up. They fuck, I realized our poodles only good at dealing with SDP dissenters, then by then, too late. The mobs dispersed by our poodles, set their patrol cars on fire and went on rampage! No choice, call in riot police liao. Then we start arresting the recalcitrants who refused to leave the scene, as in disperse, we moved in and we arrested them.

Then too dark, many took cover under darkness and sink back into the shadows. Got some of them were involved in hurling projectiles at us so we were able to recognise them using handphone to record them lor, they still high from liquor and still very stupid, some dumbo wear the same attire back to their dormitories, but the rest they look to much alike, so got 27 considered very good liao. Anyway I going to be demoted soon, one more or less, still the same lor."

Minion S Is-an-arse also explained why weapons were not used to subdue the rowdy crowd.

He said: "Actually, you know, I know, Poodles never had to use weapons to subdue SDP troublemakers, so when faced with amok Nehs, all scared till they pee, yes, literally pee in their pants. No warning shots, hey, when you see 400 nehs running amok, still got balls to fire warning shots meh?

"Since Quantum Mechanics Uncertainity Principle state we really didn't know which way it will go, so let the mob burn and overturn a few vehicles, still ok lah, quite cheap, anyway not my money lor. Anyway, we still going to sack a few poodles for fun because surely got some lumpar Netizens write in and challenge us why we never got crowd control and allow merchants to import big heap of Nehs and exploit them?!

"Before you guys quote Jane Austen and hammer me, think hor, you think you can do better meh? Then volunteer to be on the podium on Sunday lah? All only know how to talk and script conspiracy stories, KNNCCB."

While gimmicks like implement Kelantan style ban of alcohol can be addressed more quickly, one observer said the root causes may be the bigger challenge to tackle going forward.

Ho Kwon Ping, pro-regime merchant said: "You know, I know, the Chink contractor bastards exploited many Nehs for the sake of profits, its open secret, this is just a time bomb, who pay the price, peasants lor? We make so much money from neh levies and indirect rent extraction from MNCs who rely on cheap nehs. Even our town councils addicted to cheap nehs. Put it this way, cost of cleaning up and paying insurance are peanuts compared to economy values of cheap nehs, so read my lips, status quo but I tell the bastard Chink contractors to allow their Nehs to fuck longer time in Desker Road."


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